


Lucky boy

by River_Melody_Pond



Category: Doctor Who RPF
Genre: F/M, Save our Mattex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-04
Updated: 2015-10-28
Packaged: 2018-03-16 05:56:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 48,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3477038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/River_Melody_Pond/pseuds/River_Melody_Pond
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It started with an Instagram picture and its (un)inspired caption.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lucky Boy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lady_Cleo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Cleo/gifts), [ChiefDoctor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChiefDoctor/gifts).



> I suppose you all know Alex's newest Instagram picture. I choked with my food when I saw the caption! I could not help it. I was in the bus coming from work and the scene just started playing in my head. So I decided to write a little ficlet. 
> 
> I dedicate it to Lady_Cleo because she is an utter sweetheart. Thank you for your always so nice words and for the good pieces of advice.

Alex was laid on the sofa eating an apple. Her mind was lost somewhere in time…

 

She was so startled by her phone beeping that she dropped the apple on the floor.

 

She rolled her eyes and cursed in German.

 

A text. It was a text.

 

Alex bent to pick the apple from the floor. She put it on the table and picked her phone instead.

 

_“Care to explain the outburst of jealousy on social media?”_

 

Alex frowned. How dared he?

 

 _“Excuse me?”_ She replied while angrily hitting the poor touch screen.

 

_“Not until you explain to me what the hell was that!!!”_

_“Are you stalking me? You creep!”_

_“Are you stalking my girlfriend? You CREEP!”_

_“Goodbye, Matt.”_

_“Don’t you dare, Alex! Don’t you fucking dare! ‘Matt Smith is a lucky boy”. I choked with my food!”_

_“Well you are a lucky boy. She is brilliant and utterly gorgeous. And so young.”_

_“Don’t twist it, Alex. Don’t you dare to guilt trip me! You’re the one who just stained one of our little things!”  _

_“What are you even talking about?”_ She texted back, although she knew perfectly what he talked about. Probably the whole world knew where the reference was from. 

_“The Wedding of River Song! Rings any bells?”_

_“None what-so-ever!”_

_“I see. What about the Wedding of Alex Kingston? Does that ring any bells? BTW, I didn’t get an invitation.”_

_“Must have got lost in the mail. Alongside your manners.”_

_“Manners? Wish I was there to show you some!”_

Alex bit her lower lip. She closed her eyes and smiled. Then she opened them and shook her head. No. No, Alex! No. Absolutely no! Don’t go there. She rolled her eyes and settled for a snappy reply:

 

_“I know someone else who wished you were here to show some manners. Cannot believe you bailed on her.”_

_“Couldn’t have risked to meet a certain curly blonde!”_

_“Oh, the dread!”_ Alex rolled her eyes.

_“You have no right to say a word. You will never understand how much I loved that heartless curly blonde woman.”_

_“Loved?”_

_“Loved. Past tense. Hope it hurts!”_

_“Not a bit.”_ Alex wrote with a tear rolling down her cheek.

 

_“Really? Because I feel like you try very hard to get my attention lately. Whoniverse? Dallas comic-con confessions? Btw. I plan to be very sick in May, so don’t get your hopes too high for Australia.”_

By the time she finished reading his message, Alex was properly crying. Yes, it’s been all her fault and she broke his heart… but why did he have to be so mean? She did it out of love… she did it for his own good, for his own future.

 

_“Oh, I wouldn’t dare to hope to ever see you again… But it’s ok Matt, my darling. You have your right to be angry with me, to hate me. Heartless woman you said… well, heartless because you stole the only heart I possessed. And yes, my caption might have been passive aggressive… but you really don’t have to be this mean. Your words pierce through my soul.”_

Matt looked at his phone and closed his eyes painfully. He wanted to hurt her. He wanted to hurt her so badly… but how could he? How could he do that when her pain only reflected upon himself? A tear rolled down his cheek.

 

_“Oh, Alex… my Alex.”_

_“Oh, Matt… my Matt.”_

_“Why did you have to be so stubborn?”_

_“Why did you have to be so young?”_

_“When is your wedding, Alex?”_

_“I will not invite you, Matt.”_

_“I would never attend. But... I just want to love you one last time before I lose you forever. Please. Then I will tie the knot with Lily. The end. Happily ever after. You and I will go our separate ways… no hard feelings, just the best of memories.”_

_“Love me one last time?”_

_“Make love to you, yes. Make you mine. Mine...”_

_“Matt, we cannot…”_

_“One last hurrah, Alex… One last hurrah for us, for the love we’ll sacrifice on the altar of common sense.”_

_“One last hurrah... April 22 nd. Cairo.”_

One last hurrah, on "their" wedding anniversary. Matt buried his face into his hands starting crying properly. Thousands and thousands and thousands of kilometers away, Alex did exactly the same.

 

With a tear dropping on his phone, Matt wrote one last message:

 

_“Love. Present tense.”_

_“Likewise, Matt. Likewise.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer:
> 
> I love Alex and I am extremely happy for her and her fiance! She deserves all the happiness in the world and I hope with all my heart that she will get it! <3
> 
> However, at a fantasy level, Alex's caption hit me right in the feels! So the ficlet was like a little honey poured on top of my "wounds". Hope you liked it.


	2. Another favourite kisser?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic wasn't meant to happen... but I suppose we all agree that the events at the ECCC2015 cannot pass unmentioned. So I decided to write something like a little continuation to the "Lucky boy" episode. 
> 
> (Just to make sure everyone knows what I am talking about, after teasing each other the whole day, Alex decided to crash John Barrowman's panel; it was hilarious and as inappropriate as those two gods of mischief can get. Here's a video link: 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jpQdNiRfP8&app=desktop ) 
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy the fic. Hihi.

They entered the house laughing so hard tears were tickling their eyelids. Salome was still incredibly hyper after the events that took place at the convention. But the fun was over and she still had to finish a project for the next day; so the daughter went directly to take a shower and prepare herself for school.

 

Alex decided to unpack their small suitcases before doing the same. She was about to enter the shower when her phone beeped. Her lips curled into a mischievous smile. That Barrowman! He did not know when to stop with a joke! But she really didn’t mind. She could still dance around with the silly guy for a while. Wrapped only in a towel, she grabbed her phone to read the text.

 

She frowned. The text was not from John. Alex rolled her eyes when she saw who the text was actually from. Question was, did she really want to read that particular message? She could not help herself and she opened it reluctantly.

 

_“Do you have a new favourite kisser now? I bet you do! I bet you forgot about your once-lucky-boy.”_

 

Alex could feel her heart breaking in an instant. Why was he doing that to himself? To her? She agreed on their Cairo last hurrah, but did he really have to keep on tracking her every move? She could not understand his approach because it was the complete opposite of hers. For her it was easier to ignore him altogether. To forget he existed – well, to try to forget, at least. She decided not to reply to him. Another row of sms fighting was the last thing she needed.

 

She stepped into the shower. She stayed there for a long time with the water falling on top of her. Memories of years past came back… first slowly, then all at once. She suddenly felt his kisses all over her body. She closed her eyes as her heart starting aching. She could hear his voice whispering her name over and over again. Oh, where were those months in Cardiff when she used to fall asleep and wake up in his arms? Where? Where were they?

 

Alex opened her eyes with a titanic effort. Tears started streaming down her face when she realized that the kisses she’s felt were merely the kisses of water drops, the voice she’s heard was merely the murmur of the water falling. There was no him. Not there. Not for her. Not anymore.

 

Still silently crying, Alex stepped out of the shower and went to her bedroom. She was drying herself up when her phone started ringing.

 

“Please, Matt… please… please don’t be you the one calling…” She begged while grabbing her phone. She rolled her eyes when she saw his smiling picture on the screen. The Universe turned against her; that was for sure. Alex cleared her voice and decided to reply.

 

“Hello…” She said barely louder than a whisper.

 

 _“Alex…”_ She could hear him whispering back.

 

“Can…” She cleared her voice again. “Can I help you with something?”

 

 _“I… I just wanted to apologize…_ ” Matt confessed. _“I am sorry for my text… and the outburst of anger from the other time… it’s just… Alex, I am so jealous. So jealous… I cannot… stand it… it hurts. My whole body hurts and I get so angry… furious… I cannot… control it… Control myself. I am so sorry.”_

 

Alex closed her eyes painfully. What was she supposed to say?

 

“Ah… thank you, Matt… It’s ok.” She whispered softly.

 

_“No, it’s not ok… It’s the opposite of ok. Because I have no right to turn this irrationally jealous. And it’s selfish for me to be so mad at the fact that you are happy without me. It hurts as hell to see you that happy… It makes me feel like you don’t care about how hurt I am… I know this is not true… It’s just very hard to control my feelings….”_

 

“Oh, Matt… but this is silly. You’ve never been jealous before… And I have been equally crazy and inappropriate for as long as I can remember…”

 

_“Well, no man in his right mind is jealous when he is completely sure a woman is his. Jealousy starts with doubts, with uncertainty… And Alex, of course I haven’t been jealous before. Before I knew you were mine. Now I know you will never be mine again… How can I possibly not die of jealousy?”_

 

“But, Matt… John is married! Happily so! I wasn’t actually… you know… We didn’t actually kiss. I swear! It was more of a… short touch of the lips… Not a proper kiss or… just innocent flirting my usual innuendos. Seriously… I swear! It was only with the corner of our lips! Absolutely nothing to be jealous over…” She tried to reassure him sounding terribly apologetic.

 

_“Oh, Alex… you know there is no reason in this world for you to excuse yourself in front of me. You owe me no excuses… really. Really! I didn’t call to make you feel bad. I called to apologize for my outburst. I am really sorry… really…”_

 

“I am not finding myself excuses… Well, maybe a little… Ok. I definitely am trying to excuse my behavior in front of you. And yes, it is stupid! Very much so… but you just make me feel like I should excuse my behavior… oh, Matt! You cannot keep on doing this to me! Don’t you know that it hurts? Matt, I love you beyond reason… but please, be sensible! I beg of you to stop torturing me… this, us, cannot happen! We’ve talked about it. We split up on good terms, because we agreed it’s the best thing to do! The only thing to do.. You know it, you agree with me and all the good and bad reasons I laid in front of you… please stop torturing yourself, and stop torturing me!” Alex begged.

 

_“Sometimes I wonder if it’s ever been real… it’s slipping away… everything is… just fading. I wake up night after night and I wonder if we’ve ever been together or it’s been only a product of my imagination. Was it all a dream, Alex?”_

 

“Would it help you more that way?”

 

_“No. It would hurt more… I want it to be real. It’s the only satisfaction I will ever have… But no one ever knew, and I was fine with it, with having you all for myself… but not anymore. It infuriates me that no one knows! People should at least know that at some point you were mine… they should know that I loved… love you… I want them to know...”_

 

“Matt, Matt, Matt…” Her crying voice was more than obvious.

 

_“I am sorry for making you cry… I should have never sent that message. I am so glad you picked up in the end. I’ve been calling for some good 20 minutes… I thought you were mad… that you suddenly hated me…”_

 

“I… I’ve been showering… I could never hate you, Matt.” She said softly.

 

_“Cairo… will you still come?”_

 

“How will we ever survive Cairo, Matt? How will either of us survive that? It will be worse than the most barbaric medieval torture! What last hurrah, Matt? We’ll spend the day crying in each other’s arms…” Alex said rolling her eyes.

 

 _“Still better than crying apart… I need to see you. I need to see you alone! Please…”_ Matt begged with his voice breaking.

 

“I am not actually River Song… you know?”

 

 _“What? What has this to do with us?”_ He asked confused.

“River knew… when she was with the Doctor for the last time, or at least the last couple of times. She knew for sure that they were growing apart, that it was the end for her… she knew… and I am sure it hurt like nothing else. I cannot do that… I cannot put myself through that… it will be too much. Please don’t make me do it…” She begged.

 

_“Alex… I said one last hurrah… but it doesn’t have to be our las…”_

“It does! You know it does. I am getting married!!! What are we doing? I really care about my fiancé, he is good for me! He makes me happy. Calm, boring. But happy. I’m way too old for the kind of passionate and consuming love we are having. I cannot handle my feelings and I definitely cannot handle yours! They are like a fireworks show… pretty, colourful fireworks… but darling, my darling, one wrong move and these pyrotechnics can explode in all the wrong ways… and kill us… or leave us mutilated for life…”

 

_“I know… but… can’t we just…”_

 

“Matt… tell me about your day…” She interrupted him very abruptly. She could not handle that conversation anymore, but she did not want to end the phone call.

 

_“What?”_

 

“Tell me about your day…” She repeated closing her eyes and sitting on the edge of the bed.

 

_“Just like that? Like… we used to?”_

 

“Just like that, like we used to… yes… what’s the time there?” She asked unwilling to make the conversion herself.

 

 _“Almost 3 a.m.”_ Matt said softly.

 

“Why aren’t you sleeping?”

 

 _“Because I was busy getting drunk on jealousy.”_ He confessed.

 

“Is this all you’ve done today?” She said smiling.

 

_“No… so… I woke up at 9ish… but it was a lame and long day. It’s been raining the entire week. The weather, Alex, is horrible!”_

 

She chuckled. Oh, a bit of weather talk… because why not, they were British after all. She stood up and went to get dressed while still listening to him talking about how cold it was, about how bored he was, about how he had to call and order food, twice! About how he tried to read some scripts but he couldn’t because his mind was away…

 

 _“… and then I decided to watch some Harry Potter. Have you heard?”_  Matt asked her with something of the pride of a child in his voice.

 

“Heard what, my darling?” Alex was in the kitchen already, preparing some late dinner for Salome who was finishing her homework before going to bed.

 

_“That I might get a role in that Harry Potter spin-off, Fantastic Beasts… it’s nothing settled yet so… yeah… but I decided to watch some Harry Potter just in case…”_

 

“Oh, that. Yes, sweetie. I’ve heard the rumor. Congratulations! It’s an amazing opportunity. When will you know for sure?” She asked smiling.  

 

_“Thank you, love. Well I do not know for sure because my publicist is still dealing with it…”_

 

“Don’t forget to tell me when you know for sure.” She said sweetly.

 

 _“For sure I will! It will be so exiting… but I fell asleep watching Harry Potter…”_ Matt confessed giggling.

 

“Oh, no! Matt. That is a crime.” She chuckled back.

 

 _“I was way too bored with the silly rainy Sunday…”_ Matt excused himself. 

 

Alex entered her daughter’s room and left the dinner on Salome’s desk. The teenager thanked her with a smile. Alex smiled back and kissed her daughter on the forehead before exited the room. She let him continue talking while she did some quick laundry, then she went back to Salome to kiss her good-night and went to her room, climbing up in her bed. They continued talking on and on.

 

_“… and then I decided to check Instagram. And there is where I found all the gossip about the convention and went mad with jealousy.”_

 

“Darling you don’t have an Instagram.” Alex contradicted him.

 

 _“Of course I do!”_ Matt defended himself.

 

“Do you???” She said confused.

 

_“Yes. I need to keep up to date with the gossip.”_

 

“But no one knows about your Instagram…”

 

 _“Of course no one does. That’s the point! I am following you, by the way. That’s how I found about the 'lucky boy' caption the other week.”_ Matt confessed.

 

“Oh. I see. What’s your account?”

 

_“I won’t tell you!”_

 

“Come on!”

 

 _“No! Definitely not.”_ He laughed.

 

“Is it a fake account?” She inquired curiously.

 

_“Yes. It’s a fake fan account.”_

 

“Let me guess: biggest Matt Smith fan ever?” She teased.

 

_“No. Don’t be ridiculous. That’s Karen’s style. I’m not that much into self-love. It’s a Yowzah fan account.”_

 

“Are you serious???” Alex asked mockingly.

 

_“Yes! Of course I am.”_

 

“Do you… how was that? Ah… wait… it will come to me… ah…” Alex closed her eyes trying to remember the word. “Yes! I know. Do you ship Yowzah?”

 

 _“Oh yes! It’s my OTP.”_ Matt said proudly. 

 

Alex just burst into laughter.

 

 _“Don’t laugh and hurt my fangirl feelings! That is completely rude!”_ Matt accused.  

 

“Oh, so you’re a fangirl?”

 

_“Yes. 16 years old. From Nantes, France.”_

 

“Seriously?” Alex said with a chuckle.

 

_“Yes. My name is Louise! And I have to say that I am pretty popular. I have a couple hundred followers. So cool.”_

 

“Well, I have some 25k followers… so… you know. I’m cooler.”

 

_“But you’re a celebrity! I am a nerdy teenage girl! Hello! We’re not competing at the same level!”_

 

“Ok, fair point! So what’s your account?”

 

 _“I will not tell you!”_ Matt said laughing.

 

“Why? I want to know!” Alex insisted.

 

_“No. Because if I tell you you’ll follow me.”_

 

“Of course! That’s the purpose.”

 

_“You cannot follow a random fangirl from Nantes!”_

 

“Why not?”

 

_“Because all the other random fangirls will start second guessing your reasons! They will figure out something is weird and you will ruin my cover story!”_

 

“Oh, come on! This is just an excuse. I am sure you don’t want me to follow you because you post embarrassing stuff about us!”

 

 _“Not about us! About the Doctor and River. I don’t ship Mattex.”_ Matt tried to excuse himself.

 

“What don't you ship?” 

 

_“Mattex! That’s us. You and me. That’s what the internet calls us. But that’s too dirty for my 16 years old innocent mind.”_

 

“How is River and the Doctor any better?” Alex accused. 

 

 _“It just is! They are… you know… well… I don’t know! But it is definitely more teenage-appropriate than us!”_  Matt mumbled.

 

“No! That is not even an argument!”

 

 _“So you ship Mattex over Yowzah and now you got pissed off at me for disconsidering your OTP?”_ Matt laughed.  

 

“Yes! Excusé!!!” Alex said sassily with a French accent. “But I do not see how they are better than us! Simply not. Mattex not-Mattex, whatever called! We are so much better than them!”

 

_“For a 16 years old girl we just aren't! Plus! You cannot judge other people’s OTPs, Alex! You simply cannot. Don’t you know anything about the internet and how it works??? There are sacred rules if you want to stay alive!”_

 

“Well… no I don’t really know the sacred rules, darling. I don’t tend to spend hours on my phone pretending to be a teenager in love with fictional characters. Tell me your account! I will not follow you.”

 

_“Nup. Not a chance!”_

 

“Matt! Don’t make me post a picture dedicated to Louise, 16, Nantes, France… asking the entire fandom to point her out to me.” Alex threatened.

 

_“You wouldn’t go that far!”_

 

“Oh, I would!”

 

_“No, you would not…”_

 

“I would…”

 

_“Nup.”_

 

“Yep.”

 

_“Nup, nup, nup to the moon and back!”_

 

“Yes, yes, yes, to the sun and…”

 

BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP

 

“What’s that?” Alex asked confused at the noise in their devices.

 

 _“Ah, my alarm.”_ Matt said a bit surprised.

 

“Your alarm?”

 

_“Yes, Alex. Apparently it’s already 7:30 a.m.”_

 

“What???? It cannot be… you just called…”

 

_“Yes… I just called almost four hours ago…”_

 

“Oh, Gosh. I am so sorry! Why did you let us ramble for hours! For sure you have a busy day ahead and you will be a walking zombie!” Alex said feeling quite guilty.

 

_“On the contrary! I will be super-hyper-active! Talking to you and being so us… even for a short while, for a little ‘one night stand’… oh, Alex, this is thousands times better than sleeping.”_

 

“Oh, Matt…” Alex said turning sad again.

 

 _“No, no. I will have nothing of that. Keep your smile on, please. For me. I know and I do not expect us to do anything like this night anytime soon… or ever… but, it was nice, you know. It was… well us... and I thank you for it!”_ Matt stopped for a while and Alex could picture him smiling sadly. _“Ok, Kingston. I have to run, to shower and everything…”_

 

“Yes, yes… I should actually sleep. It’s so late here!”

_“Good night, Alex. Sweet dreams.”_

 

“Good nig… argh… Good morning, Matt!” She giggled.

 

 _“Alex, see you in Cairo?”_ He adventured himself to ask, on a shaky voice.

 

“I really, really don’t think so…”

 

 _“No, Alex. Let me put it differently.”_ Matt cleared his voice. _“See you in Cairo, Alex!”_ He said assertively.

 

“Ok… see you in Cairo.” Alex said with a tear falling down her cheeks.  

 

 _“Ah… one more thing…”_ Matt said quickly.

 

“Yes?” She asked with her heart racing, knowing oh so well what would come next; knowing it because it’s always been his way of ending their long conversations.

 

_“I love you, Alex.”_

 

“Oh… and I love you more…”   

  


	3. A dream on the top of a Pyramid...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pff... had such a busy day. I almost did not make it with the chapter. But here you go my sweeties... the promised last hurrah in Cairo. I hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> I apologize for potential typos, I did not have time to double check it. I will have another look on it tomorrow. I hope the archive will still allow me to post the chapter with the April 22nd date, although here is already past midnight.

Alex entered the hotel lobby. She had a big black bag on her shoulder; no other luggage.

 

She looked around. So many people moving around. She felt dizzy. She took in a deep breath before approaching the receptionist.

 

“River Song…” Alex gave her fake name with a forced smile. The receptionist didn’t seem to care. He smiled back to her and handed her a card-key. Alex thanked and turned around without further ado.

 

She walked towards the elevator still running in her mind all the reason for which she shouldn’t be there. Alex shook her head. Pointless. It was stupid and pointless to think about that. She was there already. She could as well just go upstairs and throw herself into Matt’s arms.

 

She smiled. Oh yes… definitely! She couldn't wait to do that. She missed him. She missed him like hell. The last time she saw him was more than a year ago. The last time she kissed him was more than one year and a half ago. The last time she was his was… an eternity ago.

 

Alex stared at the lift descending. Their matrimonial suite was at the top floor of the five star Pyramid Hotel. She smiled remembering the moment when Matt told her about the booking. She protested as soon as she heard the “five star” bit and she double-protested when she heard the “matrimonial suite” bit.

 

 _“Shush. Shush.”_ Matt stopped her. Then he just started laughing while continuing: _“Sweetie, as far as I remember I put a bow tie around your hand on the top of a Pyramid, it’s only fair that our anniversary should be on the top of… well… a Pyramid.”_

 

And then he laughed. Oh how he laughed! He laughed like a child who just delivered the most hilarious joke humankind could conceive. She just shook her head and joined him in laughter. And no; she did not laugh at his absolutely silly pun; she laughed at the sound of his joy.

 

TINK-LING!

 

Alex startled at the sound of the elevator’s doors opening. She looked intensely at the empty elevator before stepping inside reluctantly. Oh, she was so aware that she was condemning herself to the tortures of hell. How could she be with him knowing that it was their last time? She suddenly found it hard to breathe. With every level she felt worse; her heart pumping; her blood pressure rising; and her mind getting foggy. When she stepped outside the elevator her legs were shaking. She tried not to think about it while slowly walking towards their suite’s door.

 

Alex slid the card-key and opened the door to what was the most beautiful hotel room she’s seen in her life. She stepped inside and looked around. The room was huge; incredibly huge and perfectly square. In the middle of the room was a big circular bed with a beautifully endorsed cover on top. Many little cushions were placed on the bed and, from the ceiling, were falling like waves beige and golden veils. The veils formed a magical baldachin, which together with the circular bed created the illusion of a conic pyramid. Alex closed her eyes and swallowed hard while imagining Matt ravishing her in that sacred temple.

 

She shook her head and dismissed the thought. Then she turned her back to the bed in order to admire the view. Two of the walls were covered in glass. She walked to the windows and pulled aside the diaphanous veils which kept the real world away. Alex gasped at the view.

 

It was beautiful; incredibly beautiful. The whole Cairo laying at her feet. As if that wasn’t breathtaking enough, the twilight colours made the landscape look surreal. She looked down at her feet. Sitting cushions were placed on the floor along the two window walls. The string of cushions was broken only by a beautifully carved vintage table which was positioned in the corner uniting the two glass walls. On the table laid a big vase full of exotic flowers. There was no other furniture, but behind the bed were two doors: one leading to the bathroom and the other, a sliding one, opening a walk-in dressing.

 

“Matt…” Alex whispered walking towards the first door. She was not surprised to see that the bathroom was empty. She smiled at the magnificent bath-tube. It was placed in the middle of the bathroom, mirroring the layout of the round bed. She closed the door and went to the dressing hoping that his clothes would be inside.

 

Indeed, there was a small suitcase placed on one of the lower shelves, but Alex almost missed seeing it being distracted by something else. A beautiful silver dress was hanging from a pole, in the middle of the dressing room. She looked at it mesmerized and touched the delicate fabrics.

( <http://img-new.flip-zone.com/local/cache-small/0x0/6/1/61230ede2e44f5391d7a8830576150e9-opt-resp2400v.jpg> )

 

It was only when she tried to take the hanger away from the pole that she noticed an envelope falling. She bent and picked up the envelope on which her name was written in Matt’s handwriting.

 

She smiled and walked back to the room, slowly laying the dress on the bed. Then, Alex opened the envelope and looked at the card. The image captured one of the pyramids in the moonlight. She touched the image and moved her fingers around it for a couple of seconds before opening it and reading the note:

 

_“My dearest,_

_I hope you had a good flight and you are not terribly tired. I decided to give you the time and the space an elegant Lady needs for freshening up. I will be downstairs at the bar for a while, but at 7:30 p.m. I will go to the restaurant and wait for you there._

_The dress is my present for you. I reckoned that it would look perfect on my Egyptian Queen. Please give me the pleasure of seeing you wearing it…_

_Also, I have two pleas for tonight. I will write one of them in my note, but I need to look into your eyes while muttering the second:_

_Plea #1. Alex, I don’t want to see a single tear in your beautiful eyes until our good-bye tomorrow morning. I beg of you from the bottom of your heart to let yourself enjoy a magical evening and night without the burden of reality on your shoulders. I want to see you smiling, because your smile was one of the things I firstly fell for._

_My dearest, I cannot wait to see you._

_With all the love a man is capable of,_

_Matt”_

Alex placed a hand on her chest feeling her heart breaking inside. Hot tears started cascading down her face. She could not help it. It was hurting. Her whole body was hurting and all the broken pieces of her soul as well. With trembling hands she put the card on the bed, on top of the dress. She had to shower and make herself look like _his_ Egyptian Queen. Oh, but she had to cry. If she was not allowed to cry in his presence, she had to pour her soul out beforehand…  

 

Minutes later, she entered the restaurant looking around for him. She had her hair up in a sort of pony-tail-bun. Several curls were loose dancing around her face. Alex wanted to let them down to maintain her golden sort-of-aura look; but in the same time she didn’t want to have her entire mane around her face because it would have downplayed the effect of the dress. She wore absolutely no jewelry because the silver dress was a jewel in itself.  

 

When Matt saw her moving like the sea foams towards him, he stood up instantly, his eyes becoming wide and shinning. He looked at her as someone who hadn’t seen the sun in a long while and was suddenly and unexpectedly allowed to feel the warmth of its rays again.

 

Alex caught that expression and blushed, automatically moving a hand to tuck one of the loose curls behind her ear. He smiled seeing the redness in her cheeks. Oh, she was so close he could already feel her perfume. She stopped a couple of steps away from him.

 

“Hello…” Matt said clearing his voice.

 

“Hello…” She replied smiling and biting her lower lip.

 

Matt moved a step closer, bent towards her and placed a soft kiss on her cheek. Then he moved a step back again and grabbed her both hands into his. He lifted them to his lips and kissed them repeatedly.

 

“Alex… your beauty defies magic.” He whispered while still kissing her hands. She gasped at his words, a rush of warmth filling her whole body.

 

“I cannot believe that you are truly here…” Matt continued. “I cannot believe that it’s indeed your small and delicate hands I am kissing. I have missed the privilege of surrendering all reason and common sense in your presence...”

 

“Oh, Matt…” Alex whispered chuckling. She removed one of her hands from his hold and moved it to her lips, still giggling.

 

“What?” Matt said fluttering his eyelashes in his usual flirty way. “Can’t a guy be poetic?”

 

“Oh, a guy can indeed be poetic… but you are just embarrassingly cheesy!” She teased.

 

“Shush. Why are you always so rude? I know that deep down you like it.” Matt dismissed her giggles with a waving of his hand. “Shall we have a seat, Milady?” He then asked smiling.

 

“Yes, Monsignor.” Alex replied rolling her eyes but maintaining an amused and flattered smile on her lips.

 

The dinner went on perfectly. It was beyond easy to be around him, to talk to him, to laugh, to flirt, to love and feel loved. When he grabbed her hand and led her to the elevators she felt like floating. The veils of her dress were dancing a sensual dance around her legs and Matt’s giggles at his own story were the sort of aphrodisiac that simply had to be prohibited by law.  

 

When they arrived at the top floor, Matt opened the door for her and invited her in. Alex thanked him with a smile and moved towards the windows to admire the view. The city was bathed in light. The darkness of the night and the glittering of those lights made Cairo look even more breathtaking than before. Alex felt Matt’s arms wrapping around her from behind. She swallowed at his touch. She desired him so badly.  

 

“My sweet love…” Alex whispered closing her eyes.

 

Matt smiled and placed a kiss on her shoulder. Then he moved his lips up her neckline, until he reached the back of her ear. Alex shivered at that last kiss. She turned around in a heartbeat, facing him.

 

“Kiss me…” She begged. Matt swallowed and bit his lower lip. He did not need to be asked twice. He cupped her face with both his hands, oh still so lost in her eyes. He watered his lips with his tongue while leaning towards her. When their lips touched, Alex moaned and wrapped her arms around his middle. He parted her lips with his tongue and immediately sought the soft touch of hers. Alex deepened the kiss getting completely lost in the feeling. Matt alternated the pace of his kisses. Sometimes he was kissing her slowly, sometimes desperately and passionately, sometimes deeply as if reaching for her soul. After several minutes of relentlessly kissing on top of Cairo, Alex’s head was spinning. Matt felt her getting dizzy and pulled away. He smiled at her and moved a hand to tuck one of her loose curls behind her ear.

 

“Love, do you remember my note?” He asked softly.  

 

“Yes, of course I do. It was beautiful. Made me pretty emotional, I have to admit.” She smiled guiltily. “You mentioned something about a second plea…” She then continued. “I was actually very curious about what that might be, but I figured you’d mention it at the right time.”

 

“There isn’t really a right time. And I must admit that I didn’t think this through very well. I mean, I made a sort of speech, but I completely forgot how it went… and how I was thinking of saying it… so I will just… go for it…”

 

Alex raised her eyebrows and looked at him a little too confused. “Ok, now I am very intrigued.”

 

Matt smiled and turned his back towards her. He went to the dressing, opened the doors and kneeled in front of his suitcase. He took something out from it and hid his hands behind his back while standing up. Then he slowly walked back towards her.

 

“I know that what I am about to do is quite pointless, but I just have to do it. This is our last hurrah and it means it’s my last chance to ever approach you in a romantic way. I accepted to give up on us because you persuaded me it was the best thing to do. I admit that I completely agree with all your arguments. They are of common sense. But one year and a half made me realize that despite your common sense arguments… us being apart feels everything but ‘the best thing to do’. I know there are other people in our lives now… but they are only the second best in our hearts. Which is terribly unfair…”

 

Alex immediately opened her mouth to protest, but Matt stopped her.

 

“No, no… please. Let me finish. Alex, I cannot go down without one last fight. Allow me this one last fight.” Matt brought his hands in front of her. In each hand he had a small box. One was light blue and one was dark blue.

 

“Alex, I have two engagement rings. The one in the Cinderella blue box is for Lily. The one in the Tardis blue box is for you. When I get back to London tomorrow I have to return one of them. This is my second plea and it sounds like this: you have one night, I beg of you, think about it! Think about it and tell me which ring to return and which ring to use when asking the most important question of my life…”

 

“Matt… you cannot…” Alex began but he quickly closed the distanced between them and started kissing her again.

 

“Yes, I can.” Matt said still attempting to smile. Then he moved past her and went towards the little table in the corner of the room. He placed the two boxes in front of the vase.

 

Alex closed her eyes trying hard not to start crying. When Matt turned with his face back towards her, she just smiled and nodded.

 

“I will sleep on it…” She whispered.

 

“Oh, but I doubt there will be any sleeping…” He said cheekily. “I want you so badly, my love…” He whispered while slowly closing the distance between them. She smiled and felt her whole body shivering. Matt placed a hand on her back and with the other one indicated towards the beautiful bed.

 

“May I?” He asked softly.

 

“Yes, please.” Alex replied on a lusty voice.

 

Matt smiled, lifted her up and carried her to the bed. He laid her on the soft water mattress and slowly climbed on top of her kissing her neck and shoulders.

 

“I love you… I love you… I love you… I love you… I love you…” He whispered in between kisses. She closed her eyes and moaned in pleasure, before dragging him closer. She started moving her hands around his body until she simply pulled his shirt out of his trousers.

 

“I cannot wait to see your dress on the floor.” He muttered releasing her hair from that unfair pony-tail prison. She just laughed and pushed him on his back climbing on top of him, so that he had access to the zipper.

 

They stayed up pleasing each other until the Cairo night became an incredibly sunny morning. After yet another orgasm, they just fell asleep unable to keep their eyes opened anymore. Matt wrapped his arms around her when she placed her head on his chest. They had barely fallen asleep for two hours when Matt’s alarm started beeping.

 

He rolled his eyes and checked the time. He sighed when he realized it was time for him to get ready for the airport. Matt rolled off bed and went to take a shower. When he left the shower, she was already awake.

 

“Alex…” Matt whispered looking at her. She was sitting on the cushions next to the window wall.

 

“I will always remember Cairo like this… a dream on the top of a Pyramid.” She whispered.

 

“The only think that makes Cairo a dream is you, Alex…” He whispered sitting next to her.

 

“I need to take a shower as well. When are you leaving?” Alex asked changing abruptly the subject.

 

“In half an hour. I am sorry for leaving this early, but I could not arrange it any other way…”

 

“It’s ok, no worries. My flight is shortly after noon as well.” Alex stood up. “Alright. Shower.”

 

Matt rolled his eyes as soon as she closed the bathroom door. She was avoiding him and it was painfully obvious. He dressed up in jeans and a band t-shirt and closed his small suitcase. When she finished the shower and entered the room in her bathrobe and with her wet hair, he was standing up in front of the windows, ready to leave. She smiled sadly.

 

“Matt…”

 

He turned around at the sound of her voice and looked into her eyes. She looked into his. Awkward silence. That was a new feeling between them. And it was painful.

 

“Alex…”

 

“Hm…” She said trying hard to hold back the tears.

 

“The… the ring boxes…” He pointed towards the little table.

 

“What’s with them?” Alex asked knowing exactly what was with them.

 

“Well… you know… I need to know… your decision.” Matt said holding his breath.  

 

“Ah… right. My decision.” Alex walked towards the table, looking down. She took the small boxes into her hands, squeezing hard the dark blue one. She then turned towards Matt. Faked a smile and quickly closed the distance between them.

 

“Matt. You know my answer. You knew it all along. Keep this box. Lily deserves her ring.” Alex placed the light blue box in his hand and closed his fist around it. Hot tears started falling down her cheeks.

 

“I am sure you will be terribly happy with Lily. She seems to be a lovely girl. She seems to be what you need and what’s best for you in the long run. You must understand that I would give anything to be capable of the selfishness required in order to ask you to keep this other box. But I am not that selfish… I cannot be. Not when it’s about you. Not when I want the best for you. Not when I know that I am not that… Please, forgive me!” Her voice was already breaking. “Please… I beg you to forgive me for not changing my mind.” She then handed him the little dark blue box as well. “I cannot accept this…”

 

Matt let his head down, trying hard not to cry as well. He swallowed a couple of times and took some moments to regain his composure.

 

“So this is it. This is us…” He whispered.

 

“I suppose.” Alex nodded wrapping her arms around her waist, crossing them at her chest. She felt like falling off her feet. 

 

 “Next time I’ll see you… in Australia. Will you be married?”

 

“No… not in Australia. After that… in June…”

 

Matt attempted to smile. “Congratulations…”

 

“Thank you… ah… same for your… future engagement.”

 

“Yes, thank you…”

 

“Matt… it was… great. The night… the dinner. Everything. Thank you.”

 

“No… don’t. It was my pleasure. I am the one who should thank you for coming… Thank you…”

 

Alex left out a terrible sob covering her mouth with her hand. “I cannot bear this awkwardness…”

 

“I know… you are less than a meter away from me, but I feel like you are galaxies apart. Will this be our relationship from now on?” Matt asked blinking away the tears.

 

“Hell I hope not!” She said wiping some tears away. “We will get over it… and be the best of friends. Right?”

 

“Will we, now?”

 

“Please… please yes… I beg you don’t shut me out…” Alex said starting crying even harder.

 

“I won’t… But I need to leave now. My heart aches... I knew that you would decline my offer, but I had to try. Moreover, I cannot stand seeing you crying and knowing that I cannot do anything to stop it… I am sorry for the tears you cry because of me and us.”

 

That make her break even more.

 

“See you in Australia… we’ll have a ball.” He said trying to put on a flirty smile and attempting to wink at her. She just nodded while he picked up his suitcase, turned around and walked towards the door. He opened it when Alex stopped him.

 

“Matt… can I kiss you one last time?”

 

She started sobbing before finishing asking the question. He just left his suitcase down, turned around and walked back to her. He wrapped himself around her and started kissing her desperately, as if there was no tomorrow… and in fact, for them, there wasn’t. The realization made him burst into tears. He kissed her and kissed her until his heart became so heavy that he felt like asphyxiating with her perfume. He broke the kiss and looked at her with red eyes.

 

“I am sorry… I cannot… I really cannot... I need to go. Now…” Matt stroked her wet cheek a couple of times. “Take care, my love… take care of yourself and always be happy.”

 

As soon as the door closed Alex collapsed on her knees. She pulled the silver dress to her chest and cried in it until her tears went dry. When she felt too empty to keep on crying, she stood up and got dressed. Alex folded and stuffed the Zuhair Murad couture in her black bag and left the room in order to have breakfast.

 

She left the hotel and went to a cute café across the street. She order a coffee and some food and started looking around at all those people bringing Cairo to life. She found herself staring at all the happy couples having breakfast around her. She felt sick to her stomach. She decided to look down in her plate and get over with her breakfast, although she could not eat anymore. Alex gave up on forcing herself to swallow her breakfast, but still went for the desert. The passion fruit pie smelled too good. Alex cut the pie in half just to discover a piece of paper inside. She frowned. Was that a sort of fortune-pie? She removed the little piece of paper and looked at it filled with curiosity. Indeed, it seemed to be a fortune-note. She cleaned the bits of food off her fortune-note and looked at the message:  

 

_“We make our own misfortunes, and then we call them fate.”_

Alex blinked once, twice. Then she reread the message several times. Her eyes went wide and her heart started racing. She pulled her walled out her bag and threw some money on the table before running out of the small café. She stopped the first taxi and rushed the driver to go to the airport as fast as possible. She looked at the time. Matt left the hotel less than two hours ago. She could still make it.  

 

Once she arrived at the airport she ran directly to the ticket office:

 

“The first plane to London please.” She said quickly.

 

“Sure, Ms. There is one leaving tomorrow morning.” The woman smiled.

 

“No, you didn’t understand me. The first plane to London! The flight tomorrow is not the first plane to London! The first plane to London is the one leaving… soon!” Alex replied quite rudely.  

 

“But Ms., the actual first plane leaves in less than 15 minutes, the gates are almost closing.”

 

“I will make it.” Alex said shaking her head.

 

“The last boarding calls have already been made.” The woman insisted.

 

“I said I will bloody make it!!!” Alex said slamming her hand on the counter.

 

The woman rolled her eyes and printed Alex’s ticket. After paying a small fortune on that ticket, Alex ran to the gate. She rushed through security and having no time to put her shoes back on, she grabbed them in one hand and ran bare feet through the airport. She did not care that she pushed people around, she did not care that she was out of breath, all she cared about was the stupid mistake she’s made. She presented her ticket with her whole body trembling.

 

“I am sorry Ms., but the gates are closed.”  

 

“No. You cannot… you don’t understand. You have to let me through!” Alex insisted.  

 

“Well, I am sorry, I am afraid you are the one not understanding. The gates are closed! The plane is ready to depart.” The man insisted.  

 

“But I need to get into that plane! I NEED TO!”  

 

“I am sorry… there is nothing I can do.”

 

“Just let me thorough!!!” Alex said trying to go past him. The man stopped her putting two hands on her shoulders.

 

“Ms. I cannot do that! If you don’t calm down, I will have to call the security. The plane is leaving. See it for yourself through the windows if you cannot believe me. The stairs have already been removed and the doors are closed… You can always take the next plane. I apologize for the inconveniences.”

 

Alex groaned and ran to the windows. She lost count how many times she’s started crying that day already. She could feel her tears reaching her lips. How on earth did she end up sobbing like a toddler in the middle of an airport? She rested her head on the cold window looking at how Matt's plane was slowly moving away…

 

With trembling hands she took her phone from her pocket and dialed his number. She let herself slide down the window until she fell on her butt on the floor. She hugged her knees to her chest and waited for her call to be sent to voicemail. When she heard the beep she let out a couple desperate sobs:

 

“Matt… Matt… Oh, Matt! I changed my mind… I beg of you. Please… please, don’t propose to Lily…”


	4. "Fun" Down Under - Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello sweeties!  
> Better late than never... I suppose. Hihi. 
> 
> I would like to thank you all so much for your comments and your encouragements to continue this fic. I decided to split the chapter with Australia in several smaller ones. I believe that there would be 5 in total, most likely to be posted twice per week. 
> 
> I dedicate all the "Fun" Down Under chapters of this fic to ChiefDoctor. Thank you for not letting the fandom sink. You well know I am here just because of you. And thank you for the amazing beginning of my chapter. All credits to you and your beautiful comment from Ch.3.

As soon as he landed, Matt turned on his phone. The flashing light announces him that he has a message – a voicemail. As he is walking through the airport, heading to the exit, he places the phone to his ear. When he hears her voice, Matt stops his tracks, trying to remember how to breathe. He has to move to a side gate, where he sits in a corner and listens to her voicemail over and over again. He cannot believe it, but he has such hope he desperately wants to believe. He sits there until the fact that she said what he thinks she said finally sinks in. Silent tears start falling down his cheeks. He is happy, he feels so happy! He doesn't care that he's in a very public airport where anyone could be filming him crying. He does not care because Alex said she changed her mind and asked him to wait for her! When a fantastic, giddy smile takes over his face he jumps up, twirls around, and begins to run through the airport. He has no idea where he's running... just that he's finally running in the direction he's always wanted to...

 

As soon as she landed, Alex turned her phone on. She hopes to see a flashing light announcing her that she has a message. Nothing. She rolls her eyes and dials his number. As she is walking through the airport, heading to the exit, she places the phone to her ear.

 

“Alex!” She heard him shouting for her. She frowns and looks at the phone. It was still dialing. She frowns some more and raises her head. And there he was, right in front of her, running towards her as if there was no tomorrow. A fantastic, giddy smile takes over her face as she starts running towards him as well. And she’s running, and running, and running without caring about anything else. A couple more steps and she’d fall in his arms again, press her lips on his, say “yes, yes! I do” and live happily ever after!

 

“Alex… my Alex!” He wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her closer to him. She desperately clings onto him and breathes out in relief when he buries his head into her curls. Nothing could stop them anymore. Nothing could break them apart now.

 

Alex ends their embrace just to stare into his eyes. They smile at each other. And for that moment, they are alone in the world; alone in their bubble of love; alone in their…

 

But Alex’s eyes go all wide. She grabs her head with her hands and she collapses on the floor, on her knees. Everything turns red around her and thousands of fire alarms start beeping simultaneously. Tears start streaming down her face as she screams in pain.

 

 Matt kneels next to her, places his hand on her shoulders and starts shaking her:

 

“Alex… Alex… Alex!!!” He repeated desperately.

 

She could hear someone calling her but the pain in her ears was too great. She could not pay attention to those callings. Her ears were about to explode, for heaven’s sake!

 

“Alex… Alex… Mom… Alex… Mom! Mom!!!”

 

Alex was suddenly startled by the desperate voice of her daughter.

 

“Mother… are you ok?” The teenager asked with a terribly worried look.

 

“Not really… no. My ears are hurting like hell… Are we landing already?” Alex asked attempting to think of something else than the pain in her ears.

 

“Yes… we started descending several minutes ago. Are you okay, mommy? You’re crying…” The girl said wiping a couple of tears from her mother's cheeks.

 

“No… No. I am not crying, no… It’s just the pain in my ears… from the pressure. I am not crying.” Alex tried to reassure her daughter with a fake smile.

 

“Did you have a nightmare again? You’re always having nightmares lately… ever since that stupid Mark called off the wedding! Such a douche!!! How dared he break the engagement so close to the…”

 

“Salome, please." Alex said putting her hand up signaling her daughter to stop. "I told you so many times that Mark did not dump me… we commonly agreed to…”

 

“Nonsense, mother! He dumped you!!! I was there.” The teenager crossed her arms and shook her head while looking at her mother. 

 

“Ok… he might have, but he also had his reasons… you know I can be a difficult person…”

 

“I know you love him, but for heaven’s sake, mother! Stop defending him!”

 

“I am not defending him, Salome… please. Can you stop with this? You’re making me feel worse than I already am. The whole situation is just… none of your business. Ok?”

 

“Ok, ok. Whatever. You cannot stop me from hating Mark! You looked so happy in your wedding dress at the last fitting… But I will shut up. No need to give me killer looks!" The daughter said and Alex rolled her eyes.

 

"And no worries, mother…" Salome continued. "We’ll soon land in Sydney and Matt will be there! And he will know what to do to cheer you up! Matt always knows!!! A good doze of Matt is exactly what the Doctor ordered!” Salome giggled.

 

Alex fought hard the tears behind her eyelids. If only her daughter knew… If only she knew that Matt was the one responsible for her tears, for her nightmares. Not Mark… no. Not poor Mark. Matt… always Matt! And she could not even blame him, since it was all her fault. Could she blame him really that he never responded to her voicemail? She broke his poor heart over and over again... poor Matt had enough. She could not blame him for never getting back to her... No she really could not. Alex felt the urge of curling into a ball and crying until she could not feel anymore. Instead, she pressed her palms on top of her hurting ears and closed her eyes. Soon. Australia. Matt. In less than a half an hour, her terrible ordeal would begin.

 

Cairo. Damn that Cairo!


	5. "Fun" Down Under - Part 2

Matt was walking through the hotel with his head held down. He was heading towards the restaurant where the first dinner with the organizers, the crew members, and the other two guests of honor, Alex and Freema, was about to start. He knew for a fact that he looked like hell, since he hadn’t been able to properly sleep in more than a week. The mere thought of seeing Alex again, after yet another rejection, had been a torment.

 

Cairo. Damn that Cairo!

 

As soon as he entered the restaurant, his eyes fell on her beautiful curls. Alex was with her back towards him, vividly chatting with Freema. Matt smiled. Her curls were bouncing up and down every time she moved her head. Her very distinctive voice and laughter filled the air. Oh, how he loved that! His smile got wider with every second in which he was observing her. He couldn’t help it! And, after all, he didn’t have to. That’s what the whole Cairo had been about: a last hurrah! Right? That’s what he said. A last hurrah before they each went their own separate ways; no regrets, just the best of memories.

 

 _~ No regrets. Just the best of memories… ~_ Matt reassured himself. 

 

Well... while in Cairo, of course he had tried one more time! Of course she had rejected him… one more time. But that didn’t really count, right? Their chance of romance had been ruined, but their chance of friendship was as alive as ever!

 

_~ No regrets. Just the best of memories… ~_

 

Matt took in a deep breath. No matter what their past was made of, what their future could have brought… it was the present that matter! And he was determined to have a ball with his favourite former co-star! With his… friend... With his friend!  **Friend**.

 

 _~ Fake it… fake it, till you make it. ~_ He told to himself. 

 

Matt curved his lips into a wide flirtatious smile and he walked towards her.

 

“Hi honey, I’m home!” He said on his well known Doctor voice. 

 

Alex turned round in slow motion and placed her hands on her hips with the eternal sassy attitude of River Song.

 

“And what sort of time do you call this?”

 

“I don’t really know, honey… at the moment, I am terribly confused. Because my inner scanners shout that it should be morning, when in fact it’s dinner time. Plus, there is this sort of banging in my head, as if I was on the wrong island and standing upside down…”

 

Alex, Salome, Freema and some of the other guests just burst into laughter.

 

 _~ That ridiculous man!_ ~ Alex thought with a smile.

 

With a couple of steps Matt got closer to her and hugged her dearly. She responded to his hug and tried her best not to feel too cozy in his arms.

 

"Hello, Kingston. Long time not seen." 

 

"Tell me about it, darling." 

 

Alex had to bite her lips in order not to protest out loud when Matt broke the embrace. Her body was literally in physical pain. But she faked a smile and squeezed his hand while he moved away to greet Salome and then the others. 

 

 _~ Why didn’t you reply to my voicemail? Why didn’t you wait for me? ~_  Alex's mind could not stop from repeating. She tried to shake those thoughts off her mind and scolded herself for being so selfish.

 

For how long was the poor man supposed to wait? He’d been waiting for years and he’d kept on insisting regardless of her constant rejections. He accepted to have a secret relationship during their Who years, he accepted to do and be whatever she wanted him to… Now, how dared she still expect him to keep his young life on hold for her?

 

It was over and she had to accept the facts. She missed the last train... well... plane... She missed the last plane that took her to Matt. Their last hurrah was over. Their love affair was over. No regrets, just the best of memories. That's what Matt said when he invited her to Cairo. Right?

 

 _~ No regrets… none what so ever. None. ~_ Alex smiled lying to herself.

 

Matt acted as his usual best self, so giggly and flirty and happy. He did not allow their past to ruin their reunion, so she could not afford to it either. They could be the best of friends now. **Friends**.

 

 _~ Fake it… fake it, till you make it. ~_ She told to herself. 

 

Alex resumed her conversation with Freema after all the introductions and small talks were over. Well, it was not as if she had a chance of interacting with Matt. Her daughter already claimed him as hers and was currently demanding and expecting his full attention. Poor guy. For a couple of minutes Alex considered saving him, but then she concluded that he nonetheless enjoyed himself and there was no point in ruining her daughter’s silly reunion with her precious _Matty_.

 

The dinner soon started and it went on nicely. Everyone was laughing and joking and having a great time. It was reassuring how light the atmosphere between her and Matt felt, considering their last encounter on the top of a Pyramid. Alex locked deep down in her heart the fact that he did not reply to her voicemail. His choice, his right.

 

Across the table, laughing and joking with everyone, Matt felt equally thankful for the lack of tension between him and Alex. With all the will power he was capable of, he buried her last rejection in the pits of his mind. Her choice, her right.    

 

When the dinner was over, the conversations were moved to the bar. Salome had a lemonade and then went upstairs to chat with some of her friends and prepare herself for sleep. The rest of the party slowly followed suit and before anyone realized it was only Alex, Matt, Freema and a couple others still hanging around. They were all seated on two sofas facing each other, drinks in their hands. It was understandable from the huge smiles on their faces and their random conversations that they all lost track of how many drinks they had. 

 

“I heard that some congratulations are in order, Alex.” Freema said at some point. Matt, who was seated right over the small table in front of Alex, raised his head and fixed his eyes on her. He was a masochist for looking at her while she was about to beam about her upcoming wedding, but he simply could not look away. 

 

“Ah…” Alex started not really sure of how to reply.

 

“For the upcoming wedding, I mean.” Freema specified when she saw Alex’s reluctance.

 

“Ah. That… yes. Well… the wedding is not really coming anymore.” Alex said on a joking tone trying to ease up the awkwardness of the situation which she was forced into. There was no easy way of admitting the failure of her relationship in front of a Matt who never replied to her voicemail. She tried to avoid looking at him but that was not an easy task when Matt loud and clearly choked with his drink when hearing her words. 

 

“What do you mean?” He asked not caring about the couple of stains that ended up on his trousers. He put the glass on the table and stared at her blinking frantically. 

 

“What do I mean by what?” Alex replied trying to sound relaxed and amused. 

 

“You’re not getting married anymore?”

 

“Well, darling, it’s complicated…” 

 

“Don't _darling_ me." Matt cut her line, completely not impressed by her fake-amused attitude. "Why aren’t you getting married anymore?” He demanded to know. 

 

Alex's eyes went all narrow. What was he doing? They were not alone. How dared he? She crossed her arms and replied bitterly: 

 

“I changed my mind.”

 

“You changed your mind about the wedding or _you changed your mind_???” Matt stressed the last words as if his life depended on it.  

 

“I…. _changed my mind_!” Alex replied knowing exactly what he meant.  

 

“You changed your mind??? And wasn’t I supposed to know???” Matt asked slowly becoming angry. Freema bit her lip, quite unsure of what was going on. 

 

“I really don’t see why you were supposed to know…” Alex tried to joke but her tone just sounded rude and inconsiderate. 

 

“Sure like hell you don’t see, do you?” Matt banged his fist on the table making her startle. "That's your problem! You never see why I also need to know what's going on!"

 

Matt stood up and turned around to leave without caring about everyone's shocked looks and Alex’s already teary eyes.

 

"Matt..." Alex said standing up. 

 

"Stay the hell away from me! I am fed up with you and your eternal denial." 


	6. "Fun" Down Under - Part 3

_"Matt..." Alex said standing up._

_"Stay the hell away from me! I am fed up with you and your eternal denial."_

 

 

Alex gasped and almost lost her balance when hearing his words. She did not realize she started properly crying until the tears streaming down her cheeks reached her lips. She could not move. She stood there petrified until he got completely out of sight.  

 

Freema and the two crew members were holding their breaths, not knowing what to do or say. Freema was restlessly biting her lower lip in her attempt of not bursting into tears. She felt terribly guilty. She could not bear looking at Alex standing there like a statue, with a completely neutral facial expression, but with big tears falling like raindrops from her eyes.

 

“I… I am… Alex… I am really sorry.” Freema whispered. “Terribly… terribly sorry. I had absolutely no idea you and Matt had something… that you were… ah… you know…”

 

“What?” Alex replied coming back to reality. “Me and Matt? No… No, no, no. We were not… we are nothing… nothing… we really are not anything… really…”

 

Freema and the other two crew members exchanged some looks and then they let their heads down attempting to nod. The truth was as visible as it could get. Alex’s tears were falling like a cascade and she still could not admit anything out loud. No wonder Matt snapped at her over a supposed “eternal denial”. However, the three decided not to comment on that. Ultimately, it was none of their business. Alex attempted to smile and the others did the same, but the silence grew heavy and she was still awkwardly standing while they were stiffly still sitting on the sofas.

 

Alex looked at them and lowered her eyes. She then looked away feeling utterly embarrassed. They knew she was lying just as well as she knew it herself. She swallowed hard and wiped her tears before sitting back on the sofa and raising the glass of cocktail to her lips.  

 

“Not anymore. We’re not together anymore.” She whispered smiling sadly to Freema. “In the end my fault… I know. My fault… But it was for the best. Until it wasn’t anymore and I tried to make it right and… I honestly don’t know what’s happening right now… really.” Alex said out loud, but she was actually talking more to herself than to the others. She sighed again and looked at the three sets of eyes that were gazing at her with a combination of sympathy and fondness.

 

“Sorry… I am terribly sorry for this mess.” Alex tried to chuckle finishing her cocktail.   

 

“Don’t be… it was all my fault. Really… I apologize. I really had no idea.” Freema said with a sad look.

 

“It’s not your fault Freema. Miscommunication does... things to people. I’ll be fine. But I should go to bed now. It’s already almost midnight and I need to go to a morning show tomorrow. Pff, quite before breakfast… I will look like hell…” Alex rolled her eyes. 

 

Freema nodded and smiled. But then she bit her lips again and cleared her voice:

 

“Alex… not that it’s in any way my business, and I think I already helped enough for one night… and I know that I have no right since we only met today… but… shouldn’t you go to Matt?”

 

“Probably, but he told me to stay away…”

 

“I am quite sure that’s exactly what you should not do…” Freema said softly.

 

“Maybe. Who knows? Maybe it’s best to wait until tomorrow. Again… I apologize for the drama. Would it be too much for me to ask you all for your discretion?”

 

“Oh, please. We saw and heard nothing.” Freema assured her and the two guys nodded and pressed their palms over their hearts as a promise. Alex thanked them again, excused herself and turned around to leave the restaurant.

 

Alex took the elevator to their floor and walked to her room, head down, lost in her thoughts. She stopped in front of her door and looked across the corridor towards Matt’s room. She closed her eyes and thought about her options. She grabbed her head into her palms and stood there in silence for several moments. The scene in the restaurant started rewinding in her mind. Matt’s reaction was odd and unexpected. Quite unlike him.

 

_~ What if he never… what if he actually did not get my… ~_

 

Alex opened her eyes and let her hands fall from her face. She had to know. She could not just pretend her voicemail never happened.

 

Taking in a deep breath, Alex walked away from her room’s door and, with half confident steps, headed towards Matt’s room. She tried to compose herself before knocking on his door. But it was not at all easy. She was an emotional wreck. She’s been an emotional wreck ever since Cairo. But she had to know, thus she knocked three times. Then waited. Nothing happened. Alex rolled her eyes and knocked again.

 

“Matt please… I can hear you pacing in your room. I know you are inside and I know for sure that you know it’s me! Just open the door… let’s talk. Please!!! Don’t make me beg at your door! Because I will regardless of who sees me here! And all the rooms on this level are for Whoniverse people… please just open the doo…”

 

Matt opened the door in the middle of her sentence. He moved aside and let her in. He was still looking angry and his eyes were quite red. 

 

“What do you want?” He asked bitterly.

 

“Well… well…” Alex mumbled trying not to burst into tears again.

 

She could not bear seeing him angry. They almost never fought face to face. In their whole relationship it had merely happened a couple of times during the Who years. She knew she could not handle her emotions when he was properly mad at her. Both times they got into conflicts, she ended up sobbing and involuntarily guilt tripping him. Of course, they fought way more often over the phone or through messages… especially through messages, when one of them just poured amazing amounts of frustration and desperation behind terribly strong words. Their whole reunion in Cairo happened because of passive aggressive lines and an unfortunate exchange of texts…

 

“Well-well what, woman? Speak up!!!” Matt said harshly completely startling her from her thoughts on their previous conflicts.

 

“Don’t do your usual! Don’t act like a child and don’t guilt trip me when you well know it’s been all your fault!”

 

“My fault? Even this time?” Alex asked with her jaw shaking terribly.  

 

“Ah? Yes! Even this time! Or what? You already cannot recall our last meeting? Should I refresh your mind about me proposing and you rejecting?” He accused her.

 

“I… I know… I know that bit. But then… then I changed my mind.” She said swallowing away the building sensation of bursting into tears.

 

“Oh, thank you! So considerate, Ms. Kingston! What now? Should I fall at your feet? What would you have me do now? How do you want me to act or to react to the fact that I find out about you changing your mind due to an absolutely honest mistake made during small talk? What do you want me to do, Alex? Tell me and I will do it! Won’t I? Isn’t this what I always do? Whatever you want? Whenever you want it?”

 

“Ah!”

 

With a terribly loud gasp, Alex’s tears started falling down her cheeks. She pressed the back of her left palm over her mouth, as her shoulders were shaking up and down from the sobbing spasms.

 

“No. Stop it! Don’t! Don’t do that, Alex! Stop it with the eyes! Stop it with your crying! You think that by crying hysterically you solve everything??? I don’t want to see a tear in your eyes, do you understand me?!?! Wipe them away, now!!!” Matt said pointing a finger at her.

 

Alex buried her face into her hands, sobbing even harder. In two big steps Matt closed the distance between them. He grabbed her shoulders with his hands and started shaking her.

 

“Alexandra Kingston! I told you to stop crying and to wipe your tears away!” He continued on a categorical tone. Alex looked at him. She slowly took her hands away from her face. Her eyes were terribly red and her entire face was covered in salty tears. Matt took his hands away from her shoulders and stared right into her eyes.

 

“If you cannot stop crying, I would nicely invite you to go out, calm down and come to talk to me when you can hold yourself together! Are we good?” Matt asked with his eyes still piercing hers. Alex nodded and with trembling hands she wiped her eyes and tried to regain her composure by taking in deep breaths.

 

“Now we’re talking.” Matt said softly. “And as long as you won’t sob like a brat who tries to impress her parents even though she knows that she’s been the one screwing things up… then I will also calm down and stop shouting at you!”

 

Alex tried to focus on her breathing, but all she wanted was to run away and never stop running. Well, eventually to stop running when she could curl into a ball and cry herself to oblivion. She’s never seen Matt so angry and authoritarian in her life. Hell, she’s even never seen Matt’s Doctor so angry and authoritarian in his entire reign.  

 

“Come on, have a seat on the sofa. You shake like a jelly fish.”  

 

Alex shook her head and embraced her upper body with her arms, while trying to avoid Matt’s piercing gaze.

 

“No, Alex. You will go and have a seat on the sofa… Come on… We won’t have this whole conversation while standing in the middle of a hotel room.” Matt went behind her, placed his hands on her shoulders again and slowly, but firmly, pushed her towards the sofa. He turned her around as if she was a doll and forced her to sit down. Alex did as directed to. She felt so lost and empty inside.

 

Matt kneeled in front of her and took her hands into his while looking up into her eyes. He could barely maintain his strong attitude. How could he? When she was right there and crying? How did he even manage to shout at her? He fought hard the urge of kissing her hands. All he wanted was to comfort her and to apologize for every single tear she’s cried. But then again, she’s never apologized for all the tears he’d cried. There was a point when enough was enough. Everyone had a last drop. And, after all, he also had a handful of rights in whatever relationship they still thought they had.

 

“When did you break off your engagement?” Matt asked still holding her hands into his.

 

“April…” She whispered.

 

“You or him?”

 

“Him…”

 

“Why? Did he find out about Cairo?” Matt asked with a glimpse of panic in his tone. What if the fiancé got jealous and hurt her?

 

“No…”

 

“Then why?” Matt asked confused.

 

“My nightmares…”

 

Matt waited for her to finish her thoughts, but it was becoming increasingly obvious that she wasn’t going to.

 

“Your nightmares? What sort of nightmares?” He continued.

 

“With… with you… Saying your name…”

 

Matt waited again, for almost a minute. But she remained silent, staring down at their tangled hands.

 

“With me? Saying my name? Why???” He urged her.  

 

“With you never calling. Never replying.”

 

“Never calling? Never replying? What do you mean? Never replying to what?”

 

“My voicemail…” Alex whispered, then stopped again. Matt rolled his eyes:  

 

“Your what?”

 

“My voicemail. Matt! My fucking voicemail from Cairo!!!” Alex said started crying again and removing her hands from his just to place them on top of her face again.

 

“Stop with the eyes!!!” Matt said harshly again. His hands moved quickly to hers and forced them to release her face from their shelter. “What voicemail from Cairo???”

 

“The one I sent from the airport… when I missed the plane…” Alex said rolling her eyes and trying to puff her tears away by blowing air through her parted lips.

 

“What plane???”

 

“To London…”

 

“What? Did you come to London?” Matt asked releasing her hands when it became obvious that she wouldn’t hide her face with them again.  

 

“No…” Alex said wiping her tears, now that her hands were free.

 

“I don’t understand a word!” Matt said sighing and rolling his eyes. “Can you please, for the love of God, speak by yourself without me having to drag the words out of your mouth? What happened in Cairo after I left? What happened, Alex?”

 

“Matt!!!” Alex just burst into tears again. “Please… please! I need a minute… please…” She begged on a desperate voice.  

 

“Okay… okay… do you want me to go out?” Matt said softly. Alex nodded.

 

“Do you want some tea?” He added. Alex nodded again.

 

“Okay. I will go get some tea for us… Ok?”

 

Alex nodded obediently.

 

“But Alex… will you be here when I come back?” He asked looking up into her eyes.

 

“Probably not…”

 

“So, do you still want me to go and get tea?” Matt asked with a sad smile.  

 

“Yes…”

 

“I see…” Matt nodded and looked down. He let out a big sigh before standing up from the floor, where he was still knelt in front of her. He walked quietly to the door. But, before opening it he turned around and looked at her:

 

“Alex… I love you more than words will ever be able to express. I hoped that gestures and actions would however compensate… and every time I foolishly thought that you understood what you meant for me, every single time I blindly hoped you were giving me forever… you ended up taking it away. I am not sure you can fully comprehend the fact that every time you walked away from me I had to learn how to live again. How to breathe even. I am not sure you fully comprehend how empty your absence makes me feel. For five years now you’ve walked in and out my life at your own discretion. It drove me mad eventually. I know I should apologize for my outburst of anger, but I won’t. I really won’t. Not this time. Not anymore. Because you can no longer be the only person knowing what is going on in our relationship. I have absolutely no idea what happened inside your head or outside your head after I left that room in Cairo… but if you want to fill me in with your latest chain of overreactions, mistrust and bad decisions in what concerns our relationship… then… well, milk and no sugar?”

 

“Yes… milk and no sugar.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sweeties, I'll... well... I'll just go hide for a bit. But I am still waiting for your reactions from a safe distance. Xx


	7. "Fun" Down Under - Part 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello sweeties. 
> 
> I apologize in advance for the length of this chapter. It just kept on growing by itself and I have no idea how this happened. And I honestly had no way of breaking it into multiple chapters. I hope you'll enjoy it anyway. Xx

Matt could hear his own heartbeat while walking down the corridor towards his room. With the restaurant closed and the bar not serving tea, he had to rush to a sort of pub which he spotted nearby. When Matt asked for tea, the barista looked at him quite amused. She confessed that they didn’t usually serve tea, but that she could find a solution for a poor desperate British customer. She turned around and went in the small kitchen behind the bar. When she returned she had two paper-cups with hot beverage. Matt thanked her with a shy smile. He knew he should have looked more grateful, but the thought of bringing tea to an empty room was torturing him.

 

And now, that he was walking down the corridor listening to the rhythm of his own heartbeat, he suddenly got the idea that all the medieval torturing mechanisms he read about were mild in comparison to what he was going through. Matt moved both paper cups in one hand while sliding his key card to open the door. He was irrationally worried and he was constantly wondering whether she would still be there. He had no idea what he would do if the room was empty. He would probably just jump off the window and end his misery… well not really jump off the window but… he might as well…

 

When the door opened, Alex turned her head towards it. Seeing Matt closing his eyes and exhaling in relief convinced her that she made the right choice when she decided to stay. She was curled on the sofa, hugging her knees to her chest. A soft blue blanket was rolled around her. She had her chin rested on her knees and her whole body was still shivering a bit. She felt cold because of all the emotions she’s been through.

 

Matt’s face brightened and he could not hide his smile while he silently walked towards her. He handed her one of the paper cups and cleared his voice:  

 

“I had to run to a pub sort of thing... They didn’t even serve tea, but the barista managed to fetch some for me. She put it in these coffee take-away cups… But it’s teas. Well, in theory it’s tea. But I am sure it’s completely rubbish. But it’s warm…”

 

“Thank you…” Alex said allowing one of her hands to slide out her blanket-tent. She took the cup and brought it to her lips. She took a sip and immediately pulled a face: “Argggh. Even America has better tea… but it will do.”

 

“It will have to do…” Matt said sitting down on the sofa, next to her. Without even taking a sip from his tea he placed the paper-cup on the floor.

 

“Come here…” He whispered opening his arms for her. Alex smiled sadly, but crawled into his arms. They tried to adjust their positions for several moments, but eventually she leaned with her back on his chest and rested her head on his shoulder. Matt arranged the little blanket around her, making sure she was properly covered. Then he wrapped his arms around her. Only her hand with the paper cup was out of that blanket-plus-Matt embrace. Matt placed a soft kiss on her curls, then one on her cheeks.

 

“Feeling any calmer, my love?”

 

“Yes…” Alex whispered. “…my darling…” She added softly. Matt smiled at the sound of his favourite petname and kissed her curls again.

 

“Me too. Maybe the tea is not that rubbish after all...”

 

“It is, though…”

 

Matt giggled and continued placing soft kisses on her curls as he was slowly rocking her to the right and to the left. He started humming into her ear some random melody. Alex closed her eyes and listened to the rhythm of that melody, unsuccessfully trying to identify it. Ultimately, it didn’t really matter. All that mattered was that he was holding her into his arms and that his voice was relaxing all her tense muscles and nerves. They stayed cuddled in silence for more than fifteen minutes.

 

She didn’t want to end that moment and face reality, but she knew they had to. When Alex eventually finished her tea, she slowly moved away from his arms. She bent a little and placed the empty paper cup on the floor next to his full and already cold one. She turned around on the sofa to face him and resumed her previous position: hugging her knees and resting her chin on them. She looked adorable with her still red eyes and that blanket wrapped like a tent around her. Matt could not help but smile at the sight.

 

“You are the cutest thing I have ever seen… you’re like… a human koala!” He confessed giggling.

 

“A human koala???” Alex gave him a look, but then laughed.

 

“Yes. And, you know, they can actually go properly mental sometimes? But then they turn adorable again... Yes, I would say definitely a human koala…”

 

“I do not go mental…” Alex tried to excuse herself, but Matt looked at her with some seriously judgmental face. Alex pulled her tongue out at him: “Oh, forget it!”

 

Matt could no longer help it. So he leaned towards her and pressed his lips on hers. She softly responded to his kiss. Matt cupped her face with his hands just to deepen the kiss for several seconds before pulling away. He still kept his hands on her cheeks and looked deeply into her eyes:

 

“Let’s talk. Please… It’s already past 1 a.m. and you need to be up in 6 hours or so. But I definitely don’t want to leave the situation like this. So, please, love… tell me what happened after I left the hotel room?”

 

Alex rolled her eyes and left out a deep breath. Matt let go of her face and moved towards the other end of the sofa, to be able to see her better.

 

“Ok so… you left… and I packed my things. Pretty much… then I went to have breakfast somewhere at a café. Just across the road… it was a nice and cozy place. And the weather was nice and everyone was lively and happy… but I could not be. I could feel my chest heavy and my heart hurting. Naturally… given the whole ‘last hurrah’ thing... Do you think that it was easy for me? You said that every time we broke up you had to learn how to live again. Well… the very same applied to me! Every single time! You think I did not cry tears of blood while walking away? I did not play games with you, Matt. Not ever! I hope you don’t think this about me… I never played games with you. It was never a game… what I felt, what you felt…” She said with small tears starting rolling down her cheeks; the sort of silent tears that just fall.

 

“I know, I honestly know I walked in and out your life as if I went to the park... But the truth is, I never wanted to stay in. I really just wanted to stay out!!! I never wanted for us to act on our feelings. I was more than happy with keeping our attraction as platonic as it gets. Because I knew that a mistake was all it took for hell to break loose… And, Matt! That’s what happened after the Pandorica wrap party. Sleeping together crossed so many lines… so many lines. I felt so bad in the morning! I felt horrible! I know I lied about it… you would have taken it in all the wrong ways, as an affront to your manly qualities or whatever… But it was definitely not that! It was the fact that I knew we lost control over that electric energy between us. And I was not even properly divorced!!! And you were in a relationship. It was a horrible feeling, Matt! I cried all way to America. I swore to myself to never again stray from my determination of keeping my relationship with you strictly professional. All I wanted was to stay out of your life and you out of mine… I wanted it so badly! Never ever again to get dragged back… but how? How? I could not stay out! I tried… hell knows I tried! It worked for a tiny bit when we returned to film season 6, but sensual salsa dancing with that horrendous blonde bimbo in Utah??? Seriously, Matt??? Seriously???” Alex frowned making a face of utter disgust.

 

“It’s been 4 years… get over it!” Matt said rolling his eyes, obviously this not being the first time when he heard Alex’s opinion on ‘The’ incident, as Karen called it. 

 

“She was made of silicon!” Alex accused.

 

“She was real enough to make you jealous!” Matt excused himself.

 

“Beyond the point…” Alex said rolling her eyes. She smiled sadly after that and resumed her serious attitude. “Matt, what I am trying to say is that I wanted to stay out. I never intended just to walk back in… but then things always happened and I could not stay away from you! I could not bear it… The thought of you being with another woman was maddening. That’s why I gave in and I decided to try to make it work… But every time we tried to be in a relationship, I just felt terribly guilty. I could not enjoy it. It just felt so wrong! My conscience, my inner voice, call it whatever you want… did not let me sleep at night! You have to understand that given the circumstances of my first divorce, I do have strong opinions against sick relationships with huge gap difference. I always talked so badly against those sort of relationships. And then what? Then you happened and what was I supposed to do??? Jump into exactly the sort of relationship that makes my stomach turn around? The sort of relationship that I consider immoral? It was not you, Matt. Never. Don’t judge my feelings for you. And never doubt them, Matt. I did not play games with you. Please tell me you understand that I wasn’t just leaving and having a laugh on your behalf… but 20 years, Matt! I could be your mother! And this thought bothers me. That’s why I always had to run away at some point… Plus we were working together and it would have made things so complicated to be in a relationship…”

 

“Well, I do have to agree that a proper and decent relationship between co-stars wouldn’t have been the best solution. Thanks God that your solution, aka. being on and off for four years, was not complicated at all…” Matt said sarcastically.

 

“Stop sassing me around. I am trying to express feelings that I never expressed out loud before…”

 

“Well… and don’t you think that this is exactly the problem??? Crazy idea: you could have told me how you felt before booking the first planes and fleeing to LA without any notice.”

 

“It was not easy!” Alex said sighing. “I didn’t tell you because I never wanted you to know how hurt, vulnerable and scared I am when it comes to actual relationships. You make it sound as if it was a piece of cake to book my flights and leave you sleeping with a good-bye note on my pillow. It was not easy! Quite the opposite. It was maddening Matt. You know, I even went to a psychologist a couple of times. Because I was losing my mind without you in LA. But ultimately I was still torn apart between the guilt of being with you and the pain of being without you!!! Every time one was becoming unbearable, I just had to switch for the other… and it was not at all a fair trade! I was not playing a game… I was just… trying to do the good thing and failing miserably! And miserably I failed in Cairo as well…” Alex closed her eyes and put her forehead on her knees. Matt looked at her with sad eyes, but said nothing and did not move from his end of the sofa. He did not want to rush her. After a couple of minutes of silence, Alex looked back at him.

 

“I got a pie… for my breakfast. In Cairo, I mean… at the café. And it had a sort of fortune note. It said: _we make our own misfortunes and then we call them fate._ And that message was quite a revelation. Our entire history rewound in my mind… and I realized that it was not meant to be that way, that painful way… I realized that I approached the whole relationship with the worst of mindsets and that ultimately it was me who created all the drama. Me and not the age difference or the fact that we worked together... And when I realized it, I tried to reach you. I ran to the airport! I bought a ticket on your plane and all… but I never reached it before the gates closed. It was crazy! Matt, it was crazy! I felt like my world was going to end. I was so short of breath because of all the running… everything was just blurred. I cried so much that day after leaving you the voicemail and while waiting for a reply… a reply that never came…”

 

“What voicemail? What was it saying?” Matt whispered.

 

“That I changed my mind and that I beg you to wait for me and not to propose to Lily…”

 

“I never received anything like that!” Matt said softly.

 

“This is 2015. Voicemails don’t just get lost…” Alex said with a sassy attitude and rolled her eyes.

 

“Are you kidding me???” Matt frowned at her. Within seconds her attitude made him feel utterly annoyed again. “Are you honestly kidding me, Alex??? No, seriously???” He said standing up and starting pacing in front of the sofa.

 

“Come on… don’t get angry again.” Alex said trying to reach him with a hand, but Matt shook his head and pulled away.

 

“How can I not get angry again??? A voicemail??? A bloody voicemail??? Alex!!! You put our entire future in a voicemail!!! Are you kidding me??? What is wrong with you??? What is wrong with your head??? And then you come and tell me that voicemails don’t get lost in 2015???”

 

“Well… I thought…”

 

“I thought! I thought!” Matt imitated her. “No! That’s your bloody problem. You don’t think. You never think, Alex. You **over** think. Everything you do! Everything you say! You constantly **over** think all the situations!”

 

“Matt…” Alex said with her voice breaking again.

 

“Maybe you never sent the voicemail! You were emotional and crying and probably had a huge dose of adrenaline rush due to missing the plane and everything. You just admitted it yourself that everything was a blur. Maybe you pressed a wrong button. Maybe you canceled it. Maybe you sent it to a wrong number. Maybe you sent it to the right one and something just bloody happened. Who knows??? How can I know what happened to your voicemail? For fuck sake, a voicemail Alex???” Matt just threw his arms in the air in utter annoyance. Alex let her head down and avoided looking at him. He was still standing in front of the sofa, but no longer pacing. He crossed his arms to his chest and continued looking right at her while speaking:

 

“Why didn’t you call me, Alex? Hm??? Why??? Why didn’t you take the next plane to London? Hm??? Why did you leave our entire future in a single voicemail? Answer to me. If that fortune note was such a revelation, why did you leave our entire future in a single voicemail??? Look at me and answer to me.”

 

Alex looked up at him. She looked sad, but not crying sad. More like annoyed sad; annoyed at herself. She knew he was right. She knew he had all the rights to be angry with her, but she still could not bear it, she still could not handle it.

 

“Alex. I asked you something. Answer to me why on earth didn’t you call me that evening? Why didn’t you come to London the next day? Tell me…”

 

“I… I don’t know…” She whispered.

 

“Oh, but you do know. You just don’t want to say it out loud. Do you want me to tell you?” Matt inquired.         

 

Alex just shook her head. No, she definitely did not want him to tell her.

 

“No, but I will tell you! Because this is borderline to insulting! Borderline? Forget borderline! This is insulting! Your behavior insults me, Alex. Terribly much! Because this voicemail incident only shows me that you don’t trust me and my feelings. You think that I am just like _them_. All of those _them_ who hurt you. And I don’t consider that I ever gave you any reasons to do that. I was always the one insisting on us being together. Fighting for it! I never walked out on you. Not once! I tried and tried and tried to make you come back to me every time you left. I never gave up on you… and on us.” His tone was simply sad and his eyes shining with unfallen tears.

 

“In Cairo… I basically asked you to marry me. Did you honestly think that I changed my mind several hours later? Honestly, Alex? Can you see how insulting this is??? I proved you my commitment to our relationship by asking you to marry me… even though you were engaged and I had a relationship. I knew that I would most likely be rejected. But I just felt that I needed to fight for us one more time, no matter the odds. You said no… and I expected it. I understood it. I never held a single grudge over that. It was your choice and I honestly respected it and tried to persuade myself that we could try and be friends. Because I simply cannot imagine a life in which you are completely absent...” Matt looked at her and for a couple of seconds considered whether to sit on the floor, or to keep standing. He eventually opted for the latter.

 

“You realized you made the wrong decision and you changed your mind. You thought better about your options and you left me a voicemail. Fair point. For step #1! Completely well thought first step! But then what? You don’t just stop there! How could you just stop there? After all I’ve done to bring you back to me over and over and over again... First, it was the Pandorica party and the sleeping together… Spring 2010. Right? And you left. Fair point we both had… other commitments. Then it was Utah and the silicon bimbo and your silly jealousy over a meaningless dance. Early 2011. But it worked. My ridiculous teenage plan worked perfectly… got you back. And wow! We lasted for almost four months. Then you left. Then I had to bring you back. Thank you Steven Moffat for the Wedding of River Song. And wow! We lasted for almost three more months! Talk about commitment! Then you left again. Early 2012. And hell you played hard to get regardless of my countless trips to LA and all the chocolate and the poems and the flowers. Remember how hard I tried? Remember how happy I was when you gave in? When we got back together just in time for Christmas that year? We were approaching our first anniversary and you cruelly let me make plans about moving together… I was making plans to relocate to the US. All was perfect when you decided to leave for a ‘short’ trip to LA before the 50th anniversary... And you never came back. Not even to that bloody party! Though you knew how sad I was for leaving Doctor Who. And you knew that I had to act my sadness away. You knew that countless cameras would be piercing through my soul… and still, you left me all alone. You sent a bloody video I could not bear to watch! You completely ruined the best year of my life and turned it into the worst one… How could you leave me like that Alex?”

 

Alex looked away. She could not reply to him. She did not know what to reply to him. They never actually discussed their last “good-bye”… well, maybe because there hadn’t been one. She just took the plane and ran away, never looking back (or trying to). She always thought she acted like a martyr that day, doing the right thing. But apparently he did not see it that way...

 

“You left me and cut me off! And you almost never replied to my messages… and you never let me see you… and boom! Half a year later you got engaged! Just like that! Just… just like that. You know, for a long while I even thought that you actually had an affair and cheated on me. And that was why you ended our relationship the way you did... It was the easiest, if not the only, explanation I could think of when you got engaged to another man so quickly after you fled my bed…”

 

Matt looked at her. She was silently crying while looking down. She could not say anything to him. Hearing the story from his perspective, hearing about his misery at her actions only made her suffering feel pointless; she inflicted it on herself and she inflicted it on him. 

 

“After all I’ve done… you gave up because I did not reply to one single voicemail? One voicemail, Alex. One. No call. No other mentioning of you changing your mind what-so-ever. How is that not insulting?”

 

“I am so sorry…” She barely managed to whisper.

 

“Pff… you’re sorry! How is that helping us now? How are we going to deal with this mess? Tell me?”

 

“I don’t know…” Alex shook her head in disbelief.

 

“Do you have any idea how lucky you are, Alex? What a lucky girl…” He said laughing sarcastically. “What a lucky girl… because you left me so broken hearted… again. I don’t even know how I was alive when I left Cairo. I felt like a shadow. And that’s your luck. My broken heart is your luck. Because I was utterly incapable of thinking about proposing to another woman before putting myself together. Do you think Lily deserves this? I love Lily, Alex. I do love her genuinely. She saved me in that bloody last summer when you were fluttering your engagement ring around. She was there for me when you left me. She was there for me with a bright smile, a fantastic positive energy and a sincere heart. I grew addicted to her charm. My princess dragging me out of darkness! She might not be the love of my life, Alex. She might not be that one woman for whom I would happily die over and over again. She might not be that one woman that makes me fall in love every time I hear her name, see her face, or hear her voice. She’s not the love of my life… but she’s my anchor. She grew into being my anchor. And I do care for her… and she does not deserve this. She does not deserve to be caught in the middle of this mess created by your insecurities and your unfounded mistrust in my feelings for you and in my commitment to our relationship...”

 

Alex did not reply.

 

“What about your ex? How did he end your relationship?” Matt asked.

 

“Ah…” Alex tried hard to remain composed and be coherent. She was still curled on the sofa while he was standing in front of her, again pacing around. “I was a wreck after Cairo. And got nightmares with you never calling and me never reaching you… and running through airports and stuff. Different variations of the same dream. And you were always far away, and I was calling your name. And apparently it happened out loud as well… two-three times, within a week. And then Mark confronted me… and I told him the truth and that was that.”

 

Matt rolled his eyes and grabbed his head with his palms. He stayed like that for several moments then he looked back at her.

 

“Sometimes you’re so immature it’s just infuriating… We could have handled the situation maturely, in April, after Cairo. And have everything in order by now. I could have admitted things to Lily a month ago. In a decent and careful manner. You could have done the same with your fiancé. And we could have been happily together now. But no… you had to be so… _you_! And now we have to spend two weeks together with the eyes of the fans and with the press watching our steps. Isn’t this simply brilliant?”

 

“Two weeks. It’s just two weeks. It will eventually be over…” Alex whispered.

 

“Yes… yes, it will.” Matt rolled his eyes and his voice softened immediately. “Then we’ll find a way to deal with it… somehow.”

 

“Deal with it? Deal with what?” Alex said confused, but still looking away. “There isn’t much to be dealt with. It’s over…”

 

“Excuse me?” Matt said blinking frantically at her.

 

“You are right. It was all my fault and I acted immaturely and I made mistake after mistake. And I know I hurt you, but I swear I never intended to… because I do care for you so much. Everything I did was out of love! I thought I acted in your best interest. I was your storm... I almost made you drown and you indeed need your anchor now...”

 

Matt could not believe his ears. He rushed to her in a heartbeat. He quite harshly grabbed her chin and lifted her head up forcing her to look into his eyes:

 

“Did we pour our feelings out in the last hour just for you to understand nothing? Again??? You are insane and you lack common sense if you believe you’ll ever walk out on me again! It’s over, yes! That era in which you pulled the strings alone is indeed over. It was the biggest mistake of my life to believe that just because you’re older and more experience you can handle a relationship more maturely than me. Enough is enough, Alex. It was my fault for not being more categorical from the beginning and for letting you control our future. Not anymore. You said you had a revelation when you read that fortune note! Well bloody act on your revelation. Stop being a chicken and stand tall for what you want and what you believe in! We will deal with this! And we will deal with this together! We will get out of this mess! And we will get out of this mess together!”

 

He sat back on the sofa next to her.

 

“Alex, now that I know exactly what sort of dilemmas you faced, now that I know that your past prejudices haunted you, now that I know that regardless of what you say, you do want us... Alex, I will fight even harder. And I will fight even against you if I have to. Because we are worth it. And we are both young and have our lives ahead of us… well, some of us younger than other. Honestly, I look like hell due to my lack of sleep. I am actually worried that you will find someone better and leave me! I should really take better care of myself in order to be able to keep up with you…” He said softly and Alex almost cracked a smile.

 

“We’ll make a plan about how to deal with it. And you will see that we will get out of this mess in a very neat and damage-free manner. We will find the best solution. But not now. Not here. Dealing with our tangled history in the middle of a Doctor Who convention just screams trouble. We are here to have fun! To be crazy and to have a great time!” Matt smiled and playfully tapped her nose with his finger. “Do you want us to be happy and crazy and to enjoy this incredible country and our amazing fans, Mrs. Song?”

 

“I would love that…” She whispered softly.

 

“And you won’t cry and won’t worry in vain and won’t be sad, right? Because we are fine and we will be even better… and we will get there. Nothing worth having comes effortless…”

 

“Matt…” Alex said with a new round of tears forming into her eyes.

 

“Oh, what did I just say about the eyes?” Matt said on a scolding tone. 

 

“I know. I know!” She rushed to wiping her tears away. He smiled and pulled her into his arms. Alex wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him with all the strength she was capable of. In her desperate desire of getting as close as possible she ended up straddling his middle and completely wrapping herself like a koala around him. Matt’s hands were slowly roaming over her back in his attempt of comforting her.

 

When Alex finally broke the embrace, Matt cupped her face with his hands and started kissing her. It was a deep and penetrating kiss that held countless promises of a future together. He didn’t want to part from her, but they had to! Mainly because of the way in which she was straddling him. He really had to stop before it was too late. It was the right thing. Matt looked at her with serious eyes:

 

“Alex… Look into my eyes and swear to me that you’ve learnt a lesson tonight.”

 

“I did learn a lesson…”

 

“Swear to me that from this moment on you will talk to me whenever founded or unfounded insecurities get hold of you… Promise me that I will always be the first one to know if something about us makes you feel bad… because I want to be able to help you get out of those negative thoughts…”

 

“I promise… I promise I will try to be reasonable!” She said looking into his eyes.

 

Matt smiled and softly kissed her again. Then he playfully slapped her over her arse before carefully pushing her away.

 

“Off you pop! Go to bed.”

 

Alex frowned at him. “Just… just like that?”

 

“Yes because you have to be on national TV tomorrow morning. Your fans will expect you to be in the best of shapes… But most importantly, because I still have a moral duty to Lily. Cairo was something completely different. I owed it to myself. Cairo had all the makings of an exceptional circumstance that defies every rule. This…” and Matt gestured between the two of them. “I pretty much desire to be the norm of any ordinary day.”

 

Alex nodded and smiled. Then she stood up from the sofa and nicely folded the blanket. She put it on the back of the sofa  and then leaned to press a kiss on Matt’s cheek. Matt smiled and looked at her walking towards the door. Before leaving, Alex turned around to smile to him one more time:

 

“Thank you, Matt… I love you!”

 

“I know…” He replied wrinkling his nose at her.

 

“Do you?” She asked with her eyes filed with hope.

 

“Why do you think I kept on trying?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hihi. Everyone happy with the reconciliation? <3
> 
> I definitely am. This chapter might sound as the fic it's over... but not quite yet. We still have the whole Whoniverse to get through... and we all know what happened in Perth. Oopsico! Will the reconciliation even last?


	8. "Fun" Down Under - Part 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello sweeties...  
> Sorry for the delay. Real life hasn't been kind on me this past week. *tries to smile and keep a positive attitude*
> 
> I hope you will enjoy this chapter and, in case you haven't seen Alex's video from the Australian morning TV show, here's a link to it: http://alex-kingston.com/download/Interviews-TV%20Appearances/2015/AU%20mornings%2008-05-2015.mp4?_=1
> 
> Xx

Matt woke up with a huge smile on his face. He could not stop smiling. He stretched a bit to warm up his muscles and then checked the time only to realize it was still quite early. He could turn on the TV and, with a bit of luck, find the very reason of his happiness on the screen!

 

Drunk in expectation, he rolled off the bed and jumped on the remote control, which was on the sofa. He pressed the green button and started changing the channels in his crazy search for the good one:   

 

_“… and then I go “Hm, I don’t know if I should” and she goes “Yes you should!”_

_“My wife does the same! It was so lovely to meet you and if you want to meet…”_

“Noooooo!!! I’ve missed it!” Matt groaned throwing his hands in the air and allowing his body to fall flat on the sofa.

 

_“… and of course there will be a major Doctor there, at this convention, in your state over the weekend.”_

_“A MAJOR Doctor there!!! One that I have kissed…”_

Matt blinked, stood up in a second and frowned at the TV. Very quickly he played back the previous 20 seconds in order make sure he heard her correctly.

 

_“A MAJOR Doctor there!!! One that I have kissed…”_

 

Matt paused it right there! Alex was smirking at him from the TV screen. Oh, that smirk! That crazy-crazy smirk! He started laughing flapping his hands together.

 

“Oh, honey. So we’re playing this again? The game is on. My move!”

 

Matt ran to get his phone from under his pillow. He started scrolling down his emails until he found the one which contained a specific phone number.

 

“Sam… right.” Matt whispered and dialed the number.

 

 _“Hello.”_ An unknown voice greeted him.

“Good morning… Sam. It’s Matt Smith here... We exchanged a couple of emails and we met yesterday at the dinner. You said something about being my Australian babysitter, right?”

 

 _“Not those exact words... Mr. Smith…”_ The voice replied quite timidly.

 

“Oh, please! That’s my dad, I’m Matt.”

 

 _“Oh… ok, Matt. Yes… I am the one in charge with taking care of your needs and requirements. Is everything in order?”_ Sam inquired.

 

“Oh… yes, yes. Everything is just fine… Perfect even. But there’s something I want to do! It’s very important! Super important! And I need super secrecy with this… can you help me?” Matt said bouncing around.

 

 _“Ah, I will try to help you, of course. What is it that you need?”_ Sam replied quite confused by Matt’s ultra excited morning attitude.

 

“Superb, Sam! You’re my favourite man!” Matt said feeling like clapping his hands. “There’s the plan…”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Mother!!! That was absolutely… weird!” Salome raged rolling her eyes at Alex. The two were just getting into the car in order to leave the TV studios and meet Freema in the city centre. 

 

“What? What now?” Alex replied looking at her daughter.

 

“Seriously? What now? Do you even hear yourself when you open your mouth? Wanna bet Mr. McKoy will call you a-s-a-p and go all _Ahhhhllleeeex_ on you?”

 

“Oh, come on! I didn’t say anything that bad now!” Alex chuckled and tries to excuse herself. She could not stop wondering whether Matt heard her. 

 

Salome rolled her eyes some more and pulled a face. “That’s it! I honestly worry for the mental health of your publicist. Poor Mr. McKoy! Whatever did he do to deserve you?”

 

Alex sassily rolled her eyes as well: “Well, at least if he resigns I know someone who is more than ready to get his job!”

 

“Really??? He's irreplaceable!!! Whom do you have in mind???” Salome asked confused.

 

“Oh, let me see. Some sassy teenager who will soon get a PhD in rolling her eyes at her mother and lecturing her about public speaking. It was a joke, ok? And put your seat belt on.”

 

“It’s on! OMG, mother! That was a joke? It was a lame joke!!! The hosts completely ignored your remark! It was so awkward! Do you even realize how things like these sound to people who do not know how dirty minded you are???”

 

“Dirty what??? I am not dirty minded! Is your grandma possessing you again??? Where do you even hear these stuff??? It must be mother!” Alex said bursting into laughter.   

 

“Very funny and mature, mother! But you cannot hit on Matt like that!!! He has a girlfriend!” Salome said crossing her arms and blinking frantically at Alex.

 

“For heaven sake, Salome! I am NOT hitting on Matt! Chillax!”

 

“I just worry about you… ok? You just got dumped and…”

 

“I did not…” Alex began but her daughter interrupted her.

 

“… you just got out of a serious relationship and you are vulnerable! That’s all I am saying! Someone needs to take care of you! I don’t want to see you hurting again!”

 

“Oh, sweetheart, I do thank you for your concern… but I promise you that I am fine! And that was really just an innocent passing remark...”

 

“As innocent as snogging gets! Just saying.” Salome snapped back.  

 

“You are just a child, you cannot use words like that one!”

 

“I am 14 and I grew up in LA, not in a banana tree! I see and hear stuff... And please don’t make it about me just to clear yourself of all charges!!!”

 

“Oh, you little devil! I liked you more when you were younger.” Alex smiled nostalgically and tried to reach for her daughter's hand. Salome grabbed her hand and squeezed it. 

 

“Please tell me you won’t flirt with Matt the entire time! It’s embarrassing and the poor guy does not know how to politely make you understand that you should just stop.”

 

Alex groaned and playfully hit the teenager over her shoulder: “I am in too good spirits to actually be bothered by you.”

 

“I know! This is why I am adventuring myself into being Mr. McKoy’s assistant. Honestly! Do you have any idea what the internet says about you and Matt? Whovians across the world are with their eyes fixed on Australia these two weeks! They are going to eat every word you and Matt say!”

 

“Sweetheart, is it that or… hm... Salome, does it really bother you that I am this jovial with Matt?” Alex asked dropping her playful attitude. 

 

“What? No… it’s not about this." Salome shook her head and hands in the same time. "Totally not! I love Matt and as I told you when you had that nightmare in the plane... a good dose of Matt is what the Doctor ordered. I know you two are just good friends and that there’s no chance for you to actually be with him…”

 

“Hold on! Why??? You think I am too old and ugly for someone like Matt?” Alex asked frowning. 

 

“Oh, please, mom! Have you seen him yesterday? The dark circles under his eyes reached his cheeks! He could do with a shave and a fashion assistant.” Salome puffed. 

 

“Oh dear!!! You’re on fire this morning!!! I’d better stay as far away as possible from you and your kind compliments.”

 

“You are not too old and ugly for him! Don't be silly... you're the best looking mother there is! It’s him who’s so out of your league these days…”

 

“Salome, that’s rude even for your _I-am-a-teenager-and-I-hold-all-the-answers-to-the-Universe's-mysteries_ attitude! The poor thing had a very tough month…"

 

"Mommy! I would never be rude to _my Matty_! Don't get it the wrong way... I am just saying that I am on your side!!! Team Kingston all the way! And after what Mark did I am just worried that potential scandals and gossips will just hurt you more! I know you and Matt used to be very close and friendly while you were filming Doctor Who. I remember that he visited us a few times in LA... But that was years ago! Things change! You cannot act as if no time passed! Matt is in a relationship with Lily now!!! And Lily is everyone's darling because this is her year! The journalists are rude... please don't give them reasons to attack you and to come up with false stories!" Salome said sighing. 

 

"I know love... fine.. I will be more careful. Thank you... thank you for taking care of me. But it makes me so sad that you feel the need of being so careful with me. I will not break to pieces... you know?" Alex said smiling sadly. The words of her daughter were spinning inside her head. The sweet child was so right and Alex felt how the guilt, regret and fear were settling in her heart again. 

 

Salome smiled too and taking off her seat belt jumped in her mother's arms completely startling her from her thoughts.

 

"Of course you won't break to pieces. You're a rock! My rock..." 

 

Alex smiled some more at her daughter's words and kissed her on the forehead before slowly pushing her away. The car had just stopped. Salome looked around acknowledging that they indeed reached their destination. Alex collected her bag and tried to shake off her suddenly gloomy mood. She closed her eyes and silently prayed that Matt did not see her silly comment. After all, it was maybe for the best.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  

 

Alex, Salome, Freema and three more women involved in the organisation of the convention spent the entire day wandering around Sydney and having a genuinely good time sightseeing. When Alex returned to the hotel, there was only half an hour left before the dinner. Salome was so full of energy, bouncing up and down and expressing her gratitude for how amazing her mother made her feel. Sliding the key card, Alex wrapped an arm around her daughter’s shoulders and slowly inviting her precious one in. But Salome suddenly stopped her tracks and looked around.

 

"What?" Alex asked confused, but then the smell and especially the view made her stop halfway into the room as well.

 

Big arrangements and bouquets of exotic flowers decorated the entire chamber. Alex looked around unable to believe her eyes. There must have been at least a couple hundred of flowers all over the place…

 

“Oh… wow!” Salome exclaimed. “Who did this?”

 

Alex swallowed hard and bit her lips in order to hide her insane smile.

 

“I… I… have no idea…” She whispered and slowly moved towards the biggest bouquet which was positioned in the middle of the coffee table. She bent to smell the flowers. They were absolutely divine. Alex pressed a small kiss on the petals and smirked when she saw the hidden note. She took it out without blinking:

 

 _"From a huge fan… one that you have kissed."_      

   

That impossible man saw her message after all, Alex thought shaking her head. 

 

“So? Who sent you all these flowers?” Salome brought her back to reality.

 

“Ah… a fan apparently. One who has some serious connections around here, I must say.” Alex said winking.  

 

“Well... impressive, but isn’t this super creepy?” The teenager asked looking worried.

 

“Oh, _Mrs. McKoy_ , I actually think this is utterly adorable…”

 

“If you say so. I’ll go shower and get ready for dinner. I am suppppppeeeeer starving! Love you so much and you are the best!”

 

“I love you too, darling!” Alex said with a smile, still holding the note into her hand.

 

As soon as Salome locked herself into the bathroom, Alex looked around. Those things Salome said were haunting her, causing a hurricane of dark thoughts to ravish her mind. But all those flowers made her feel butterflies in her stomach!!! Her head was spinning and her heart was beating in rhythms of waltz. 

 

She's always known that her and Matt's feelings were genuine... and yet, such a long time passed since they had actually been properly nice to each other. Their relationship after the 50th anniversary had been weird and dark... even weirder and darker than their entire on and off romance. She had let him down and his anger and disappointment seemed to grow progressively. Matt texted her so many words that ripped her soul apart… and her replies got meaner and meaner all the time. They spitted venom at each other until they eventually stopped communicating altogether…

 

They’ve hurt each other so much…

 

“No more…” Alex whispered. She looked around at all those flowers and closed her eyes pushing all those sad thoughts away from her mind. The smile reconquered her lips when her brain processed that Matt was just some rooms away getting ready for yet another dinner together. She opened her eyes and bit her lower lip before diving onto the bed with the enthusiasm of a child. _Her Matt_ bought her flowers again... silly man went so over the board, as always!!! A single rose on the bed would have had exactly the same effect on her... because _her Matt_  thought about buying her flowers again and that was all that mattered!

 

The flowers were the perfect sign that Matt understood her message. Back in the good old days, they always played this silly game in which they took turns in impressing, surprising, or positively shocking each other. A sort of childish tag game that made them fall desperately in love with one another. Ah, she was so ready for that! She was finally ready to put behind his anger and her insecurities behind... This time she was not going to give up! Despite common sense! Despite guilt and regret! She was not going to give up. Not this time. Not anymore.     

 

“My move.” Alex whispered kissing the card.


	9. "Fun" Down Under - Part 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ready to go back to our little Australian adventure? Better late than never, sweeties! Here's a new update. I hope you will enjoy it. Xx

Alex put a little extra effort to dress for the dinner. By pure chance she had packed with her that crazy flowery dress Matt declared to be his favourite. And just by pure chance she decided to wear it that evening.

 

She entered the restaurant and walked with a bright smile towards the table. Their party was considerably smaller than the previous day and Alex was grateful for that; Matt, Freema, and three of the main organizers.

 

Matt’s eyes went big when he saw her in that dress. He shook his head. Oh the lady wasn’t playing fair at all!

 

“Good evening, Ms. Kingston. You look wonderful tonight.” He said standing up and taking a couple of steps in order to greet her.

 

“Oh, thank you, Matthew. Ever so kind.” Alex responded fluttering her eyelashes and leaning to press a kiss on his cheek.

 

“The dress you’re wearing is absolutely exquisite. Is it new?”

 

“Not quite, darling. I am fairly certain you’ve seen it before. On the Who set maybe?” She teased.

 

“Honestly, this dress becomes more beautiful every time I see it. Just like its owner.”

 

Everyone at the table just chuckled at the remark.

 

“You’re the biggest flirt on the planet!” Alex said and playfully hit his shoulder.

 

“With all due respect, Ms. Kingston… but that’s you.”

 

“Oh, shut up!” Alex laughed causing everyone else to do the same. “Good evening Freema, darlings…”

 

“Evening, Alex.” They all greeted her with big smiles.

 

From across the table, where she was seated, Freema did some quick calculations in her head. By the look of it, the previous night’s conversation went well. Very much so! Good, that was very good – Freema thought. She was glad for that, especially since she’s been wondering throughout the entire day whether Matt and Alex solved their bar exchange of bitter lines. Although the two women spent the day together, due to Salome’s and the organizers’ constant company, Freema did not get to chance to ask Alex anything on the matter.

 

“Where shall I sit?” Alex asked looking around the table. 

 

“Sit next to me, Kingston. I saved you a spot, like in the good old days.” Matt said with a nostalgic smile. “Oh, where’s the poppet by the way?”

 

“She realized she forgot her phone in the room, so she ran back to get it. She should be here any moment.”

 

Just as Alex finished saying the words Salome appeared in the restaurant.

 

“Good evening everyone!!! Good evening Matty!”

 

“Good evening young lady.” Matt said with a little bow. Salome giggled and jumped to hug him.

 

“I am starving! Where do I sit? Matt, can I sit next to you?” Salome said with a grin.

 

“Sals…” Freema said quickly. “I was thinking that maybe you want to sit next to me… I kept a spot for you. You did not exactly finish telling me about your friend and her boyfriend.”

 

“Oh! You really want to hear the end of it? Mom said I am just being annoying and I should let you breathe…”

 

“Oh please! And you’re listening to your mother???” Freema said pulling a face.

 

“Not normally!” Salome laughed and ran across the table to sit next to Freema.

 

“Argh! What am I supposed to do now?” Matt said with a fake sad look.

 

“I’ll sit next to you tomorrow. Just sit next to mom tonight!” The teenager said casually.

 

“Well, if I really have to…” Matt said rolling his eyes and causing everyone else to laugh.

 

The dinner went on with a lot of laughter and good joy. If anyone noticed that Matt was leaning towards Alex and flirted with her more than the social conventions allowed – and that she did not mind it at all – it simply passed unmentioned.   

 

Immediately after finishing their meals, Alex and Salome stood up to leave. The mother explained that she felt utterly tired after a long day sightseeing. Despite Matt’s insistences, Alex refused to stay half an hour longer. She argued that a day of convention was always a long one and that a proper night’s sleep was exactly what the Doctor recommended. The Kingston girls wished everyone good night and returned to their room.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Alex knocked four times.

 

“Matt… Matt…”

 

She pressed her ear on his door and waited to see whether there was any sign of movement. More than thirty second passed. Nothing. Alex rolled her eyes and knocked again, a tiny bit louder.

 

“Matt… Matt… wake up!”

 

She pressed her ear on the door again. This time she did not have to wait for long. The corners of her lips curved into a big smile when she heard him stumbling across the room to open the door.

 

A terribly sleepy Matt appeared in the opened door. He could barely keep his eyes opened and that made him look adorable. The fact that he was wearing only boxers had to be buried deep down in Alex’s mind. Safest (to be read ‘sanest’) choice for her was to keep her eyes focused on his sleepy face. 

 

“What…” Matt mumbled yawning as if there was no tomorrow.

 

“Pack your things.” Alex whispered.

 

“What?” He repeated looking utterly confused.

 

“Shhh! My move, remember? Come on. Pack your backpack. You’ll need a blanket and a hoodie, or something similar.”

 

“Alex… it’s nearly 2 a.m. and we have to be at the convention at 8... What happened to your Doctor’s recommendation?” Matt asked still yawning.

 

“Sleep is for the weak!” Alex continued whispering.

 

“Did you steal a car again? Just like in Utah, when you got jealous because I flirted with another woman?”

 

“Borrowed…”

 

“So stole? Just like in Utah, when you got jealous because I flirted with another woman?”

 

“No, Matthew!” Alex said rolling her eyes. “This time I actually borrowed it!!! I asked for permission in advance.”

 

Matt laughed: “Come in, Ms. Kingston. In here there will be no need for whispering.”

 

Alex nodded and entered the room. Matt closed the door with a big smile:

 

“Just give me five to shower. Then I will pack my hoodie and run with you into the sunrise again.”

 

“Good boy!”

 

“Do you want to hop into my shower?” Matt asked grabbing his towel.

 

“No, thank you. I showered in my room.” Alex replied giving him a look.

 

“Suit yourself. And if you get bored… you can always prepare my backpack.” Matt said fluttering his eyelashes. Alex laughed, shook her head, but went to open his suitcase:

 

“Go and shower! You’re wasting precious time…”

 

While Matt showered, Alex prepared his backpack: a blanket, then one hoodie for him, and another one of his hoodies for her – they were always warmer and smelled better than anything she owed. She opened the mini bar and decided that some healthy snacks wouldn’t be too bad. She took a pack of biscuits and one tablet of chocolate. Sweets were always the best of ideas. 

 

“Are we ready boss?” Matt asked getting out of the shower in nothing but a wrapped towel.

 

Alex turned around to say something sassy, but her body just froze in the second she saw him. She swallowed hard and started tapping with her right foot on the floor:

 

“You’ve got 10 minutes. Get dressed!” She said on a threatening tone.

 

“Oh, that’s so close to the perfect sentence.” He teased.

 

“Everyone’s a critic.” Alex continued and rolled her eyes.

 

“I love you…” He laughed.

 

“If you don’t want me to respond with an unflattering ‘I know’, then get dressed”

 

Matt frowned and moved quickly towards her. Alex startled and with a giggle started running in circles around the backpack. Eventually he caught her hand and pulled her into a close embrace. Alex gasped. He wrapped his arms around her waist and allowed her to feel how much he desired her.

 

“Soon… soon and then I will never let you go again.” Matt whispered pressing a kiss on her cheek.

 

“I am counting on it, darling. Now for the love of sanity, get dressed.” She whispered back with a weak smile.

 

Matt broke the embrace, gave her a military salute, grabbed his jeans and t-shirt and went back to the bathroom. In some five minutes they were good to go.

 

“Are we doing the pink panther dance?” Matt asked and grabbed his key-card and the backpack.

 

“We might have to… I don’t want anyone to see us sneaking out together in the middle of the night.” Alex said and opened the door. Right in that moment Matt stuck his head out the door, looked to the left and to the right and then started doing the pink panther’s ridiculous dance:

 

“To do… to do… to do, to do, to do, to do, to dooooooo…”

 

“Maaaatttt!!!!” Alex scream-whispered and jumped on him. She covered his mouth with both her hands. “It’s 2 a.m. for heaven’s sake.”

 

“Sorry…” Matt giggled.

 

“Come on.” Alex said. She grabbed his hand and dragged him towards the stairs.

 

“Aren’t we taking the lift?”

 

“Too central.”

 

“You mean too small…”

 

“That as well. Shush now.” 

 

“Can I drive?” He asked her enthusiastically.

 

“Only if you behave until we reach the parking lot…”

 

“Define behaving.” Matt teased.

 

“Well, I can tell you what behaving does not look like.” Alex said sassily.

 

“What does behaving not look like?”

 

“You.”

 

“That’s plain rude, Kingston.”

 

Alex just laughed, but as soon as they reached the car she handed him the keys. He smiled and climbed to the driver’s seat. First stop was a non-stop café, from where he bought some lattes. When they left with their warm coffees, Matt asked for directions.

 

“I don't have any location in mind... just drive into nowhere… a silent and peaceful nowhere…”

 

Matt smiled and did as told. It wasn’t long until they reached a cliff which was facing the ocean.

 

“Is this nowhere good?”

 

“Yes it is…” Alex replied with a smile and opened the car’s door. She took a couple of steps towards the edge and then looked upwards.

 

“So? Are you going to show me the Southern stars, the same way as you showed me the Northern ones?”

 

“Yes, although I have to mention that my knowledge about the Southern hemisphere sky is significantly more reduced… But I will try my best. Just put the blanket here next to the sea…”

 

Matt smiled and placed the blanket on the ground. They both laid on their backs, one next to the other, and looked at the starts.

 

“They are so bright…” Matt whispered.

 

“What?” Alex asked. “Speak up, lad. I cannot hear you because of the waves and the wind.”

 

“I said that the stars are terribly bright…”

 

“Yes. They are bright... someone whose name I forgot said once that all the best things happen on the Southern sky…”

 

“Show me…” Matt said while suddenly standing up. She frowned a bit, but Matt did not intend to leave, he just wanted to change his position. He laid back down on his back, but this time he was no longer parallel to her: he placed his head on her belly. Alex smiled and moved her hand to his head. Matt closed his eyes in delight when she started caressing him.

 

“Show me the stars, Alex… tell me the stories of their beauty. Show me the Southern star first…”

 

“There isn’t one…” Alex said with a smile, though he could not see as they were both staring at the sky. 

 

“There has to be one…” Matt insisted.

 

“There’s a Southern Cross though… the Crux constellation. That’s the most famous constellation of the Southern hemisphere…”

 

“And where is it?”

 

“It’s right there…” Alex said lifting her left hand and pointing somewhere.

 

“I don’t see it…”

 

“It’s right there… just look at it. It’s a cross…”

 

“I don’t see it.”

 

“Those four stars, Matt…”

 

“Those four stars over there?”

 

“Yes… those four stars over there!” Alex giggled.

 

“I think it’s a diamond. I want it to be a diamond…” Matt said cheekily.

 

“It’s a cross, Matt…” Alex laughed.

 

“How do you know? Those four stars, you said? It’s all about drawing the lines… It’s all about the way you unite them. It’s all about perspective. I want them to be a diamond. Big shinny diamond in the sky!”

 

“Fine…” Alex said playing along. “That’s the Southern Belle Diamond constellation…”

 

“Oh, I see… It’s beautiful!”

 

Alex laughed. Why did she even bother to look up the real stars? She should have known that Matt would eventually demand made-up stories. So she gave him just that. She went on and on and on about stars and fake constellations:

 

“And that’s the Epic Reunion constellation. You see, that’s a stickman made out of those stars… and there’s a stickwoman! And the whole constellation is their stick-people-epic-reunion.”

 

Matt started laughing very hard. The longer he stared, the harder he laughed.

 

“That constellation is just brilliant!!! Ok… what’s that one?”

 

“Which one? That one?” Alex replied giggling.

 

“Yes, that one… that shinny fancy constellation… how’s that called?”

 

“Oh, that’s the Constellation of Kasterborous.” She declared on a solemn voice.

 

“Never heard of it.” Matt said with a smile.

 

“Too bad, you little uneducated prick. The mightiest race in all of creation had its nest there. There are so many things a young lad like you has to learn!” Alex teased.

 

“Please… teach me. Just teach me anything and everything…” He begged. 

 

Alex smiled and kept quiet. She looked at the sky. The stars forever remained mysterious and unknown. A shiver passed through her body making her starle. Matt felt it immediately.

 

“Are you cold, love?” He asked softly, but did not change his position at all. 

 

“Not so much… I was just wondering…”

 

“What were you wondering?”

 

“I was wondering… why are we acting like children?” Alex said sadly.

 

“Because this is how we acted all the time when we were together, back when it all started… And because admitting and indulging into how we ended up… is too sad.”

 

“I suppose.” Alex whispered.

 

“We’re taking a break from the madness that’s our relationship. This does not mean that we are ignoring the mess we created. We’re not going to build a future on illusions. We did hurt each other, a lot. But we’re taking a break from all that hurting… we’re turning back to the basics in order to heal. Shortcut.”

 

Alex nodded.

 

“I feel sleepy…”

 

“Do you want us to head back?” Matt asked softly.

 

“No, let’s sleep here…”

 

“Alex, we’re gonna freeze…”

 

“Let’s sleep in the car…”

 

“Don’t be silly. Let’s go to the hotel…”

 

“No…” She said shaking her head vehemently.

 

“Alex…” Matt said standing up and looking at her face for the first time since they laid on their little blanket.

 

“No…”

 

“Be sensible. Sleeping in the car is not a way of resting. On the contrary, we’ll end up being more tired.”

 

“At least we’d be together…” Alex said standing up as well.

 

Matt smiled and reached for her hand. She shook her head again and did not take his hand. Instead she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him dearly.

 

“Fine love… let’s take a happy nappy in the car…” Matt whispered in her ear and kissed her cheek.

 

Alex chuckled and nodded. She bent to grab the blanket and then walked hand in hand with Matt to the car. He opened the door to the passenger’s seat and invited her in.

 

“Here…” Matt said and slowly reclined her seat as backwards as possible. “Put a jumper on and take a blanket.”

 

Alex giggled: “We’re not sleeping until the end of time… it’s just a two hour nap…”

 

“I still want you to be warm…”

 

Alex nodded and allowed him to take care of her since that obviously made him happy. When he was pleased with everything, Matt went to the driver’s seat and arranged his own 'bed'. 

 

“Now this is a million stars hotel…” He giggled.

 

“You bet…” Alex replied laughing.

 

“It’s 4:30ish. I’ll set the alarm for 6:15. Is that ok? We’ll be able to get back to the hotel and shower before Salome and everyone else is up.”

 

“That’s just perfect, darling.”

 

“We’ll be dead tomorrow at the convention. We’ll need loads and loads of coffee…”

 

“I kinda think we will…” She giggled. “Give me your hand…” She whispered.

 

Matt did as told. Their fingers tangled over the gearbox. She smiled remembering that night in Utah when they stargazed. Back then, after they finished with the starts, they returned to their hotel and shagged for hours. This time though, given the mess their relationship was, going back to the hotel for hot sex was not an option. She had to settle for the next best thing until they fixed everything and made sure that as few people as possible got hurt by their romance. And if the best next thing was sleeping in the car under the Australian sky… then let it be it.  

 

“Coffee, no coffee… but you know what?” Matt asked leaning to kiss her hand.

 

“What?”

 

“My move…”  


	10. "Fun" Down Under - Part 7

**_Sydney, May 9 th._**

 

When the doors opened at 8:30 a.m., Alex felt her head heavy and foggy. Honest to God! What had she been thinking? To waste a night like that? To sleep in the car? Well, to barely sleep in the car!!! Actually, to have a two hours nap in the car!!! The night before the first day of convention? She was going to die!

 

She was so focused on her inner rant against her own poor reasoning, that she did not notice when Matt arrived at the venue.  

 

“Good morning, everyone!” Matt declared with a lively attitude, completely startling her. His smile was wide and his eyes were light and he looked as if he owned the whole whoniverse! Alex frowned and felt like punching him for being so wide awake.

 

She kept on rolling her eyes while everyone else greeted him enthusiastically. Eventually, since Alex did not say a word to acknowledge his presence, Matt turned his full attention towards her:

 

“Good morning, Ms. Kingston! I am so sorry to be late. Here is your coffee, as usual…” He said smirking. He walked towards her and offered her a take-away. Alex frowned in confusion for a couple of seconds, but then she decided to play along whatever game he was playing. Back in the good old Who days, Matt used to buy her a morning coffee every single day. And then, for some blissful months, he used to make her a morning coffee every single day. So yes, she was definitely playing along:

 

“It was about time, Matthew!”

 

“What can I say? It takes a while to get back into the role. It’s been what? More than two years since we last worked together so… I got out of hand with the whole process of daily delivering your coffee on time.”

 

“Excuses, excuses, Matthew! You know well that my coffee should be delivered before I arrive. Don’t let it happen again!” Alex said with a fake diva attitude and grabbed her coffee. Matt bowed down in front of her:

 

“Promise on my live, Madame!”

 

Alex burst into laughter and playfully smacked him over the shoulder to the amusement of everyone else.

 

“So sorry to be interrupting… but we should go through the schedule one more time and then the photo ops will begin…”

 

“Sure, sure!” Matt replied smiling and turned his attention towards what the crew and organizers had to transmit.

 

Alex did the same while slowly sipping from her coffee.

 

It felt surreal! Laughter and joy. Matt being there, next to her! Matt being so light and smiling all the time! Oh, after two years of anger and constant reproaches… it just felt surreal to fall back into old habits. She smiled and looked at him some more. Somewhere in the back of her mind she also heard the Whoniverse people talking, but they were fairly irrelevant. She wanted to keep staring at Matt. And the more she looked at him, the surer she became that this was the right choice! She and Matt together was the only option. She knew that as long as Matt walked the earth, she wouldn’t be happy with anyone else…

 

The time of denial was gone. They could no longer deny their feelings, so they had to fight for them. And if hell was about to break loose in the near future, she might as well take full advantage of the convention: their very own oasis of calm before the storm! Two more weeks of blissfulness and then they would fight for as long as they had to.

 

With all the fuss from the photo ops, with all the people attending the lunch and with all the fans from the meet and greet, Alex simply didn’t get the chance to exchange another word with Matt before her panel. The more she ran around, the more tired she felt. Add a good lunch on top of everything and Alex could barely keep her eyes opened when the panel began. She smiled constantly while fighting the urge of closing her eyes. She was terribly grateful that Freema saved her a couple of times, and she was even more grateful when the organizers brought her a coffee - with a small note from Matt on which was written: "a million stars coffee". She smile and rolled her eyes, but she took the magical beverage. If only that worked! But it still seemed like nothing could make her feel awake. She desperately needed something to make her wake up for good!

 

Several minutes later, Alex was sitting on a chair in a backstage room, watching Matt’s panel through a screen. She tried to focus on what he was saying, but she could barely hear him. The only thing in her mind was how she would inevitably end up falling asleep at the autograph session. And indeed she was slowly falling asleep on the chair, when Salome and Freema started laughing hysterically. Alex got terribly startled and looked at them with scared eyes:

 

“What happened?”

 

“Shhh mommy… listen! Matty was asked about how many times you slapped him…”

 

"What?" Alex asked turning her head towards the screen.  

 

_“I mean... she slapped me **a lot**!!! And Alex slaps you hard. And then she goes like ‘Ok, we’ll pretend on the next one, because it’s not for the shot!’ and I go ‘alright, alright, alright!’, but she’s deceiving! *he imitates multiple slaps* and I go ‘AAAAAAAAA Aleeeeexxx!’”_

 

“Oh… dear God!” Alex said and buried her head in her palms and tried hard not to laugh.

 

_“But it’s cool, ‘cuz it’s Alex and there is something wonderfully erotic about her…”_

 

Alex raised her head in a second. And that was the moment! The moment that finally woke her up. Any trace of exhaustion disappeared from her mind:

 

“What did he say???”

 

_“For me, Alex is the most erotic woman you could ever meet. She’s fabulous…”_

 

“That’s it. He’s dead!”

 

“Come on, mom." The teenager laughed. "This is show business. Matt’s just continuing the trend you started. For all we know, probably he just wanted to save your skin for the stupid kiss remark you made on national television yesterday morning.”

 

“I can save my own skin for the stupid remarks I make, thank you very much!”

 

Salome and Freema laughed.

 

“I tried, but in all honesty he’s dead…” Salome said helplessly shaking her head.

 

“Yeah, I kinda think so…” Freema agreed still laughing.

 

Unfortunately, the much anticipated confrontation between Matt and Alex kept on being postponed by the busy convention schedule. Right after Matt's panel they had to go at the autograph session. With so many fans around, that was definitely not the moment to debate "erotic" comments. After the autograph session, they had to hurry to dinner. Then, they had to finish packing their suitcases and hurry to the airport to catch the flight to Brisbane. Then, there was all the rush with the boarding. Then, they didn't even get to sit near to one another in the plane!

 

Alex rolled her eyes and growled. She was seated with Salome three rows in front of Matt. And Matt was seated next to a very nice ginger crew lady that simply invited herself to sit next to him. Not that she was jealous, or anything, but she was no longer eager to ignore the 'erotic' remark. Once in Brisbane, they will have to meet other organizers and volunteers, and then they would have to go to the new hotel, and then they would be too tired and blah, blah, blah...

 

"Sals, baby..." Alex said as soon as the seat belt light turned off. "Mind if I ask Freema to come and sit next to you and then I swap seats with the lady next to Matt... I have to deal with something." 

 

"I want to hear!" The teenager said with a large grin.

 

"Salome..." Alex said on a threatening voice.

 

"Fine, go kill him on your own!" She laughed.

 

Alex winked and stood up immediately. She went to ask Freema if she wanted to sit next to Salome. Freema grinned and gladly accepted the offer. Happy with the arrangements, Alex went to speak with Matt's seat-mate:   

 

“Hello sweetie... Mind if we swap seats?” She asked with the sweetest of smiles curving her lips. She also fluttered her eyelashes in an adorable way. The crew lady looked at Alex and eventually stood up with a sigh. The ginger was so obviously not happy with Alex taking her place, but there was nothing she could do.  

 

“Thank you so much, sweetheart.” Alex said while maintaining the same sweet smile and sugar plum attitude. Matt looked at the annoyed crew lady terribly amused and barely held his laughter when Alex sat down next to him.

 

Alex looked around to check if there were any indiscreet people staring. Thankfully, no one seemed to be very interested as to why Alex decided to swap places. With a pleased smile she turned her head to face Matt:  

 

“The hell was that?” Alex whispered while glaring at him.

 

“The hell was what?” Matt replied with a smirk matching her threatening eyes.

 

“Erotic?”

 

“That was my move!” He declared proudly.

 

“Excuse me?” Alex asked sassily. “I don’t think so, young lad! I took you to see the skies and offered you a night at a million starts hotel! Do you really think that your move is calling me names in public?”

 

“I did not call you names in public.” Matt laughed.

 

“Erotic, Matt? Erotic? And you said the word twice!!! What were you thinking?”

 

“For starters… I was thinking about you, spread all naked on my bed…”

 

“Matthew!” Alex gasped narrowing her eyes. 

 

“What…” Matt said looking as innocent as possible. “You asked what I was thinkin…”

 

Right in that moment Alex slapped him for all he was worth.

 

“Auuuuchh… Alex!” Matt said closing his eyes in pain.

 

“Ooops…” Alex said smirking. She heard Salome and Freema laughing and she realized she might have been a bit too loud. She waited for the curious eyes to turn away and then she cleared her voice:

 

“Hm… you were pretty much asking for it.” She whispered extremely quietly while leaning a bit towards him to make sure no one could hear her.

 

“I know…” Matt whispered back with a cheeky smile. His cheek was slightly red. "I was actually looking forward to it."

 

Alex repressed a satisfied smile and looked deep into his eyes: “Was it… erotic enough?”

 

“It was… erotic. But not erotic enough…” He replied on silent, forcing her read his lips.

 

Alex bit hers and turned her head away from him. She took the travelling pillow from his lap and put it around her neck.

 

"I should take a nap. I only swapped places because I wanted to slap you." She declared.  

 

“And I want to eat you up…” He whispered and casually grabbed a book from his bag. He opened it at a random page and pretended to be reading.

 

“Do you now?” Alex whispered back while closing her eyes and pretending to be sleeping.

 

“Aham…” 

 

"And how exactly you plan to do that?" She continued whispering.  

 

"The only way there is." 

 

“But where?" She insisted.  

 

“Well, what are our location options?” Matt wanted to know. 

 

“Dunno… a toilet at the Brisbane airport…” 

 

“How long do we have?"

 

“Maximum five minutes.” 

 

“I see…” Matt replied adjusting his position on the seat and turning the page of his book.

 

With her eyes still closed Alex also adjusted her head on the neck pillow.

 

“I take your hand and drag you inside the disabled toilet, since it's single and bigger. I lock the door and slam you on a wall…” Matt whispered while staring into the book with a focused look. 

 

“The tiles are so cold…”

 

“I really don't care at all..." 

 

“Fine... I suppose I have to get used to them..." 

 

“Exactly..." He hissed quietly. "Because I am kneeling in front of you and lifting your skirt…”

 

“I am not stopping you… and actually the tiles are getting warmer...” She smiled. 

 

“Maybe that's because I am taking off your knickers…”

 

“Not wearing any…” She whispered.  

 

Matt smiled: “I know… I just wanted to hear you saying that…”

 

Alex smiled as well. “Go on…” 

 

“Eager are we?” Matt said turning yet another page of his very interesting book. 

 

“Just because we’re on a ticking clock.”

 

“I see… well, then I’d better get down to business. I'll start by slowly massaging you with two fingers, for some five seconds, before getting them inside…”

 

“Hm…” She silently cleared her voice. “Just like that? No foreplay?”

 

“Ticking clock, remember?”

 

“Forcing myself to…”

 

“I’m pressing my lips on you and start drinking you up…”

 

“Please…” 

 

“I'm moving my tongue round and round… writing your name in circular Gallifreyan…”

 

“What name?”

 

“Alexandra Smith…”

 

Alex moaned, but on the last second she managed to transform it into a cough. Matt smiled and turned another page in his book.

 

“Enough. Stop it...” She whispered still not opening her eyes. 

 

“Why?”

 

“Because we are on a plane and maybe just maybe someone will hear us whispering... and because the levels of frustration in my body are becoming unbearable.”

 

“Well… that Brisbane toilet is only slightly over half an hour away from us…”

 

“We cannot…” Alex whispered opening her eyes and looking at him. 

 

“I know… but, I was just… saying…” Matt replied slowly rolling his eyes. 

 

“Yeah… I know…”

 

“Still wanting to take a nap?"

 

"Well, why not."

 

"Do you want to put your head on my shoulder?” Matt said with a big smile.

 

“Thank you… that would be, well... at least a certain degree of comforting.” Alex said while fully leaning on him. "Still your move, just to mention."

 

“So be it, dearling. What exactly do you expect from my move?” Matt could not help but ask.  

 

“Something… erotic, but not involving sex.” 

 

“Okay… okay… Fine. Hm... Intriguing. I will figure out something.” He smiled.  

 

Alex slowly let her hand fall down his body and placed it discretely on his jeans. "You're so hard..."

 

"Yeah, and you're not helping. Mind moving your hand away, thank you very much?" Matt said sassily. Alex smiled but moved her hand over her skirt.

 

“What are you going to do when we land? People might notice... and everyone knows I sat next to you.” 

 

“Well… still a bit more than half an hour until we land. I will make it go away if you'll just sleep and behave!” 

 

Alex smiled. “I’ll sleep and behave."

 

“That's my girl.” 

 

“I love you…” She whispered. 

 

Matt smiled and gently pressed a kiss on her curls. “And I love you.”


	11. "Fun" Down Under - Part 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! 
> 
> One week ago I moved into a new flat... and I do not have internet, and I won't have internet for the next 10 days! Kill. Me. Now! On the bright side: I managed to write some more chaptets for my two fics. On the down side: I cannot really post them... no internet, remember? 
> 
> So here I am, using and abusing the internet of my local coffee shop in order to make this update. I hope you will enjoy it and next time I manage to check the archive I will be greeted with your lovely comments and kudos. Xx
> 
> P.S. In case you did not see the Brisbane Mother's Day videos, you'd want to check these links before reading the chapter. 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YABeGt93mvc
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQOQXP1Rw2M

_**Brisbane, May 10 th.** _

 

Alex was with Salome and Freema in the back of the car which was taking them to the convention venue. The three ladies were quiet, busying themselves with their phones. Alex was checking the schedule for the day. She immediately noticed that it was very similar to the schedule they had in Sydney. First, there would be the photograph sessions, then there would be the lunch and the platinum tickets meet and greet. Shortly after followed her and Freema’s panel, then Matt’s panel, then dinner… then bed. Simple as that. She still felt a bit tired because of the previous day and the late flight, but she looked forward to meeting more fans. Alex smiled and put her phone aside. One day of lovely convention and then, on May 11th, a full day off. Well, the day was scheduled anyway, but the schedule said ‘Leisure day at the Hamilton Island’ and that was something Alex definitely wouldn’t complain about.

 

The morning passed quickly and before she realized, she and Freema were already on stage ready to begin their O&A. Alex frowned. The venue was so dark. She could barely see the audience. She commented on the issue, demanding on a playful voice to be allowed to see the faces of the fans. The moderator assured Alex that the lights would be turned on. However, something special was scheduled for the beginning of the panel and it required the lights to be turned off:

 

“We’ll start with a little surprise for Alex, maybe?” The moderator said joyfully.  

 

“What?” Alex frowned. She looked at Freema with questioning eyes, but no help came from there.

 

“We have a very special video for you, Alex.” The moderator continued. 

 

“A video?” Alex asked with surprised eyes and turned her attention towards the big screen in the back of the stage.

 

_Freema: I was going to start by saying ‘Hello sweetie’, but I’m actually so fed up with hearing that… or maybe I’m not… Haha… So I just wanted to say Happy Mother’s Day to you Alex! I only just met you, but I can tell within an instant what a wonderful, warm, and kind, and thoughtful person you are..._

 

Alex looked at the screen unable to believe her eyes. As the video went on, she felt more and more nervous and emotional:

 

_Matt: ALEX!!! Happy Mother's Day!!! I hope you're embarrassed right now, you're on stage... Have a great day!!! Look after your wonderful little girl... she's right here and she set all this up for you... Ah... and we will adore you, and we love you, and you are probably the sexiest mother I know... ah, I am sorry I said that, that sounded a little bit weird, but it's TRUE!!! Happy Mother's Day!!!_

 

_Salome: Happy Mother's Day, mommy!!! I hope you really liked this and I hope you were surprised... and I just wanted to say thank you for bringing me to Australia and everything. And thank you for being the best mom there is! Love you to the moon and back!!!_

 

By the time Salome came on stage with a huge bouquet of flowers, Alex could barely coordinate her hands. She hugged her little daughter, and then Matt - who just appeared from nowhere and then disappeared into nowhere straight away - and she tried to say a couple of words. However, Alex found the task quite impossible, as her heart was beating fast and was overwhelming her of beautiful emotions. She dropped the mike, then she dropped the flowers, and everything suddenly went wibbly wobbly... 

 

"Oh, sorry!!! This is who I really am... Sorry, I just have to compose myself..."

 

After Salome hugged her mom again and thanked her for getting to spend Mother's Day together, she ran backstage through the sneaky Tardis which was positioned to one side. Alex followed her daughter with her still teary eyes, and decided she needed some moments more to regain her composure. She apologized to the public, jumped off the stage and followed Matt and Salome into the Tardis. As soon as she got backstage she jumped on her little daughter and hugged her dearly:

 

“Oh my God. I cannot believe you did this!” Alex said with new tears forming in her eyes. "This was wonderful, thank you so much…”

 

“Welcome mommy…” Salome said with a huge smile.

 

“I love you to the moon and back as well… you are incredible. You really are!” Alex said squishing her daughter a bit more before breaking the embrace.

 

“Owww… thank you, mommy! I love you too! I am so happy you liked it and that you were surprised! I couldn’t have done it without Matty, though. The whole idea was mine, but then he had the means of doing it… you know, bossing everyone around and pulling strings.” Salome laughed and Alex did the same.

 

“Oh, you… you… impossible man!” Alex rolled her eyes and playfully hit Matt over the shoulder. Then she hugged him softly. 

 

“Uuuu… hitting and hugging! I like that. I worried you would be double cross and several shades of dangerous because of what I said in the video… I didn’t mean to say that in public… really…” Matt excused himself.

 

“Oh, shut up! You totally meant to say that in public! Otherwise you would have done the sensible and mature thing and re-record your part.” She teased.  

 

“I admit nothing.” Matt said pulling his tongue out.

 

“I would love to keep on bantering with the pair of yous, but I have a panel to attend… so… I’ll catch up with you later!” Alex winked and ran back towards the Tardis. She apologized to the audience for the delay and went on with the panel.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The day had been a laugh! They all had a lot of fun and the convention was a real hit! Alex’s Mother’s Day video, the battle of videos with Tennant and Pieper, Instagram pictures… and generally being super silly. Matt enjoyed everything beyond words. But what he enjoyed most was Alex’s laughter and all the little things about her that he had missed so much.

 

He grabbed his phone and the key card. It was almost time for dinner. He opened the door to leave his room and almost bumped into Salome, who was with her hand raised ready to knock on his door. 

 

The teenager laughed. “Talk about good timing. Ready to go, Matty?”

 

“Sure, sure. I am starving! Where’s your mom?”

 

“Oh, you know, being late as always.” Salome said rolling her eyes. “Anyway. I am so happy we’re not eating at the hotel today. I cannot wait to see the fancy sea food restaurant everyone is talking about. I love sea food! And sea food in Australia? Can you imagine? Maybe I will eat a giant prehistoric sea monster for my main and tiny octopuses with poisonous starfish for starters!”

 

Matt burst into laughter: “I’ll definitely have a bite of your poisonous starfish! Tell you that!”

 

“Let’s go downstairs, Freema is waiting for us.”

 

“Just give me one minute. I want to check on your mom first… otherwise we will wait for ages before she comes downstairs and your prehistoric sea monster will be just fossils.”

 

“True!” Salome said rolling her eyes. “She is never ready unless forced to!”

 

“Good thing Karen’s not here yet… there were a couple of times in Cardiff when I thought she’d eat your mother alive! There was this time when we waited in the lobby for over 20 minutes because Alex couldn’t tame her curls. When your mom finally came downstairs blaming her hair and all, Karen asked what sort of products she used. Your mom answered and then Kaz, very rudely, said that the products had no effect no effect whatsoever and suggested Alex to try the scissors next time.”

 

“She did not!” Salome laughed.

 

“Oh, yes she did…” Matt said locking the door of his room.

 

“I’ll go downstairs. I have some high school gossip for Freema. Go make mom hurry up! And don’t be too late!” The teenager said and hurried to the elevator. Matt saluted and, leaving in the opposite direction, went to Alex’s room.

 

As Salome left the room in a hurry, she had failed to close the door properly. Matt smirked when noticing the door slightly opened. He pushed it softly and sneakily looked inside. Alex was half bent over the bed, furiously digging for something inside her suitcase. He simply could not help himself. Matt tip toed towards the bed and slapped Alex over her arse as hard as he could.

 

“AAAUU!!!” Alex screamed and jumped as burned. She turned around to face her aggressor, while still rubbing her sore bum. “Are you out of your mind?”

 

Matt laughed. “Sorry, your position was literally screaming for some spanking.”

 

“You’re seriously underfucked, Matt.” Alex said rolling her eyes.

 

“Guilty as charged! And there is also the fact that you are so… everywhere!!! And so happy! And we’re being all normal around each other… meaning friendly and flirty. And then there is the thought of our self-imposed abstinence! Which makes me… desperate… and… you know… rebel and just generally eager to break the rules and… desperate…”

 

Alex laughed and, wrapping her arms around his neck, silenced him with a passionate kiss. Matt tangled his arms around her waist and pulled her closer deepening the kiss. He knew well that due to their decision of waiting for Matt to end his relationship and due to the scheduled restaurant dinner, the kiss was doomed to become nothing more. However, they both seemed determined to make the most of it.

 

Lost in their passion, they didn’t hear the door opening.

 

“Mother???”

 

Matt took his hands off Alex as quickly as humanly possible. Alex’s eyes doubled their size. She covered her mouth with a hand and she felt her body becoming as stiff as stone.

 

“Thank you, Matthew, for making sure mom did not waste time in vain!” The teenager said on a bitter voice. 

 

“Sals… “ Matt started but the girl narrowed her eyes and glared at him.

 

“Don’t you dare to _Sals_ me! We’re not friends anymore! You have a girlfriend! The whole world knows this! Except mom, apparently…” Salome said turning her full attention towards Alex. “At least I choose to believe so! Because otherwise I cannot explain to myself how could you ever do this…”

 

“Salome…” Alex whispered, but her voice was breaking.

 

“You’re having an affair with Matt…”

 

“No… no, I am not…”

 

“It was not a question!” The teenager accused and stomped her foot. “Yes you are! This is why Mark dumbed you, wedding and dress and all! Because you cheated on him!”

 

Matt looked at Alex who was unable to defend herself since hot tears were already blurring her vision and cracking her voice.

 

“Salome… we are not having an affair.” Matt said softly but the teenager glared again.

 

“I am not even talking to you!”

 

“Look… look… I know you think it’s not my place to intervene because this is between you and your mother, but I am as guilty as your mom is…”

 

“I said I am not talking to you!” Salome insisted punctuating every word. “I am talking to her! Because we discussed about this the other day! Why didn’t you tell me that the _parallel universe_ in which you and Matt were dating was in fact _this_ universe???”

 

“Salome… I…”

 

“I asked you! I asked you if you dated Matt at any given point! You took the lucky escape and avoided me altogether! Don’t I deserve to know?”

 

“You do…” Alex whispered.

 

“Did you two date? In the past?”

 

Both Matt and Alex nodded. Salome narrowed her eyes even more, giving them killer looks.

 

“When? For how long?”

 

Alex looked town while wiping some of her tears with trembling hands: “Ah… it was an on and off thing… first it was nothing, then it was open, then it became exclusive then…”

 

“When? For how long?” Salome repeated her questions, being completely unsatisfied with her mother’s rambling.

 

“Since Utah! And till… before the 50th anniversary!” Matt responded.

 

“That’s what? Almost three years! And none of you told me?” Salome asked with sad eyes. “You knew I loved Matt… I would have loved to know…”

 

“Your mom was concerned that you were too young to understand. Remember? You were just this little girl I was playing in the park with. She also was not very convinced she wanted a long term relationship with me. Please don’t be so mad at your mom… you know she’s been through a lot. Just think how reluctant she must have been to trust a much younger man who was just rising to fame and having so many women around. She thought that what I felt for her was just a temporary passion and that I would eventually leave her for someone younger. Can you blame her that she didn’t jump head front into such a relationship? That she didn’t tell anyone? That she didn’t want to make this public? I would have never done left her… but your mom had all reasonable and rational reasons in the world to believe that… she was just protecting herself and you from… a potential heartbreak…”

 

Salome sighed. She looked less angry, but terribly sad.

 

“You should have told me, mom…” The teenager whispered.

 

“I know, Salome! Trust me, my sweet child when I am telling you that I lost count of the many ginormous mistakes I made when it comes to this relationship.”

 

“Matt said the 50th anniversary… did you restart with the… whatever this was… now? In Australia?”

 

“No… it happened a bit before. Earlier this year… in January, February… we started texting again.” Alex said softly.

 

“Did you cheat on Mark, mommy?”

 

Alex looked into her daughter’s eyes without blinking. Cairo. Cairo. Cairo.

 

“No…” Matt said quickly. “Obviously not. You cannot believe your mother would ever do that.”

 

Matt looked at Alex and smiled. Cairo. Cairo. Cairo. He knew she was thinking about Cairo. But that was a whole different story! That was meant to be their last hurrah. That did not count in the same way as a random night would have. Matt refused to consider Cairo just as a petty affair. Cairo was something sacred at a whole different level.

 

Matt was so categorical in his words that Salome nodded and did not question them.

 

“But Mark? Did he leave you because of Matt?”

 

“Yes…” Alex confessed.

 

“But why if you never cheated?”

 

“Because he realized I had feelings for someone else…”

 

“So you did cheat on him… just as Matt is now cheating on Lily.”

 

Alex sighed.

 

“You did…” Salome said looking at her mom. “And you do…” She said looking at Matt. “Because there are more ways of cheating than one. Am I right?” She waited for them to reply but as none could say anything she continued:

 

“I am right. One can be unfaithful with a sentiment, with a thought, with a word… and the whole world just heard Matt’s erotic and sexy-mama remarks…”

 

Matt sighed and face palmed himself. Alex felt so ashamed that she just wanted the earth to open and swallow her alive.

 

“Oh… here’s my phone!” The teenager said and grabbed her phone from a chair. “I was so distressed with what happened, that I forgot why I came back in the first place. Isn’t it a shame that I always seem to forget my phone around…”

 

Salome turned her back to them and walked to the door. She opened it, but with a sigh decided to turn one more time to face her mom and Matt:

 

“I am so disappointed in you two. Happy Mother's Day.” She said with her voice trembling from unshed tears. And then left slamming the door.

 

Alex left out a painful cry and grabbed her face into her palms starting sobbing. Matt closed the distance between them with a couple of steps. He wrapped his arms around her, prepared for an outright rejection. But the rejection never came. Alex hugged him back. She placed her head on his shoulder and released her emotions in a river of tears.

 


	12. "Fun" Down Under - Part 9

_**Brisbane, May 11 th.** _

 

“Come on, Salome… please get ready, we need to go.”

 

“Five minutes I said!” The teenager shouted from the bathroom.

 

Alex rolled her eyes and said nothing more. There was nothing to be said. She knew her spawn well enough not to force her hand when she was that angry… The mother sighed. The stone she felt in her chest was unbearable. So much for the relaxing day on the Hamilton Island! Alex was convinced that Salome would use every given moment to punish her for what had happened the previous night. And in all honesty, could she actually blame her daughter for her passive aggressive behaviour? The answer was no. Not when her own child looked at her with tears in the eyes and whispered "I am disappointed in you". How was a mother supposed to come at terms with that? If her relaxing day on the Hamilton Island was ruined, if her entire Australian trip was ruined... it did not matter. It's been all her fault and she deserved it. If anything, Alex was extremely grateful that during the restaurant dinner of the previous night, Salome opted to act as an ill-mannered teenager and, stuck with her nose in her iPhone, paid no attention to the adults around her. On any other occasion, the mother would have been revolted.   

 

But this was a new day. Salome was not about to be as considerate as the previous night. This was a whole new day that involved a considerable smaller number of people, a very reduced inner circle. There was no convention to attend. There were no protective fans to hide behind. It was just her and a hurt and raging daughter to look after. Alex sighed again and slowly rubbed her eyes, trying hard not to cry. She hoped that Matt had the common sense to avoid them and not to set alight the powder keg.

 

“I am ready. Let’s go! Come on! Let’s go!” Salome said getting out of the bathroom and storming towards the door. Alex picked her bag as quickly as possible and followed her daughter out of the room. None of them spoke in the elevator and, as soon as they reached ground floor, Salome went on to fully ignore her mother. She jumped on Freema and kissed her cheek. 

 

“Good morning, bae!” Freema said kissing her back and giving her a hug.

 

“Morning!” The teenager replied with a wide smile, then she waved at the other people who were already there.

 

Alex looked at Freema with thankful eyes. She seemed to have the situation under control. Alex had noticed while in bed, the previous night, that Salome heatedly texted to Freema. Most likely the young woman knew everything about Salome's discovery. And most likely she's been trying to mediate the situation. Freema was a real treasure. Bless. 

 

“Are you ready for our fun day on the island?” Salome asked fluttering her eyelashes.

 

“Oh… but, are you coming on the island? I am not sure you are.” Freema laughed.

 

“Of course we are! Moooom??? What did you do???” Salome glared at Alex.

 

“Ah…” Alex frowned. “Nothing! Of course we are going on the island. This was scheduled for today. I was not informed of any changes in the plan…” She said quickly, getting all defensive.

 

“Well, that's because everything was a surprise! I changed the plan for today as a surprise.” Matt said appearing in the hallway. “Good morning everyone. Good morning, Salome, dear!”

 

Salome narrowed her eyes and glared at Matt. What was with the addressed morning greetings? He was a fool if he thought she would play his game. Salome knew well what Matt was trying to do. He was trying to act all normal. He was trying to act as if he cared about her, as if she was super special to him. Right! Well, by all means he should have remembered that before sneakily snogging her mom while being into a relationship!!! The teenager decided not to reply to Matt's greetings. She settled for shooting him more killer looks.

 

“What are you talking about? Matthew, seriously? Please just… not today!” Alex begged.

 

“Well, it has to be today, because there is no other option. We’re not going on the island. And by 'we', I mean the three of us. I rented a car and we’re doing something… way cooler!”

 

“Mother!!!” Salome said through clenched teeth. 

 

“Well… I am as confused as you are! Matthew, care to explain?” Alex rolled her eyes and looked around at how the curious faces of the crew members were recording everything.

 

“Yes, of course I will, Ms. Kingston. I will explain everything, but let’s get going! We don’t want to be late.”

 

Alex looked at him with desperate eyes. Little tears were forming inside them and she did her best to blink them away. Why was Matt determined to start a war with a raging Salome? Why was he doing that when he knew how much the previous night had affected her daughter?

 

But Matt smiled and looked at her. He whispered softly: “Trust me.”

 

Alex nodded and turned towards her daughter: “Salome, come on. Matt says we’re going to have fun. It means we are going to have fun.”

 

“Mom! I want to go on the island with Freema!” The teenager complained on a loud voice.

 

“Salome! Enough with this! There is absolutely no need for you to be this rude with Matt. I am sure he went a long length to make a surprise for you.”

 

“I know! Apparently Matt is full of surprises lately!” Salome accused and stormed towards the parking lot. Matt smiled, waved at everyone and went out with Salome.

 

Alex rolled her eyes and faked a smile: “Sorry about her. She must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed. Wish you all a great day on the island! Enjoy!”

 

Before leaving, Alex hugged Freema. 

 

“She’ll be fine.” Freema whispered. “Give her time.”

 

“There are no words to thank you for taking care of her yesterday... when she could not trust me with her sorrow.”

 

“Oh, please! It's not that bad. She is just... confused. She won't hold grudges for long. Trust Matt with today… if the day goes according to his plan, we’ll all be sugar-spice in the evening.” Freema smiled and winked. 

 

Alex nodded and followed the other two outside to the car.

 

“Matt, please… what was this about?” Alex asked when she arrived in the parking lot. She noticed that Salome was already in the car. Matt said nothing. He just winked and invited her to get in as well. Alex rolled her eyes, and did as told. Matt smiled and took his place as the designated driver: 

 

“Okay, mah’ gurls! We might have some misunderstandings going on. It’s only natural, given the situation. But all this grudgy attitude cannot last. So we’re going on a family trip.”

 

“We are not your 'gurls'. And we are definitely not a family!” Salome said sharply.

 

“Ok… we are not a family, _yet_! But we will certainly be a family, _Poppet_! And I really want to make this work."

 

"Don't you dare to..." The teenager started, but Matt did not allow her to continue her thought.

 

"Come on, Sals! I am sorry for yesterday… please let’s just enjoy the day! It’s still me! I want to apologize for the way in which you found out. I want this day to be perfect. I want you to see how much I love your mom and how much I love you!”

 

“Whatever!” The teenager said while taking her earphones out of her bag and sticking them into her phone.

 

“Whatever indeed! I didn’t actually expect you to cease fire this early in the morning. But no worries, the day is young!” Matt said laughing.

 

“Ha. Ha. Ha. I am sooooo funny!” Salome imitated him and put her earphones into her ears.  

 

“I know right!” Matt challenged her.

 

Alex felt her blood running like crazy through her body. Her heart was aching and her mind was foggy. She had no idea what to do. She was not sure that Matt's decision of challenging Salome was a sensible one. She was not sure if she wanted to accept it, but ultimately she feared that any intervention on her side would only make things worse.

 

“Buckle up, missy. We’re ready to go.” Matt said with a smile. Salome growled but put her seatbelt on.

 

“I just hope you know what you’re doing.” Alex said when the car finally started moving. 

 

“Trust me. I’m the Doctor!” Matt said and winked. Alex smiled.  

 

It was only a one hour and a half drive. Salome listened to music and ignored the two adults completely. However, Matt was determined not to let Alex succumb to sadness. He knew well how terribly affected she was because of disappointing Salome and he tried to distract her. Matt took charge of their conversation topics and made sure his beloved enjoyed the ride.

 

“Here we are!” Matt declared proudly.

 

Salome lifted her eyes from her phone screen and looked around. Alex's eyes went all wide and she looked at Matt:

 

“Oh wow!!! Australia Zoo?” She asked surprised.  

 

“A couple of weeks back, when you decided to take Salome to Australia, she mentioned in a Facebook comment that her biggest desire while here was to visit the Australia Zoo! Kazza just happened to see the comment...” Matt smirked.

 

“This is just playing dirty and bribery.” The teenager said through clenched teeth. "Karen will hear from me when she arrives!"

 

Alex sighed and rolled her eyes mentally constructing her reply. But Matt shook his head at her and winked. Alex nodded and swallowed her words.

 

“Not sure if it's wise to get into a row with Karen. She's Scottish and deadly. Your choice, Poppet... but in the meanwhile... let’s have fun! Woooohoooo!” Matt said with a huge smile and exited the car. 'His' girls did the same.

 

Matt was playing a dangerous game and he knew it. But he was determined to go through with the plan. Karen warned him that acting as if nothing happened, as if nothing changed, as if his relationship with Alex was the most natural thing in the world, could have only two effects: crack Salome's resistance or turn her into his declared enemy. Matt acknowledged the warning. However, his heart and his gut feeling were telling him that the teenager did not hate him. Salome's been just shocked and disappointed by the way in which she found out about her mother’s relationship. Matt wanted to show her, _to prove_ her, that they were still friends! They were still besties! They could still send funny pictures through whatsapp to each other, they could still make jokes, they could still be sassy with one another! He was still  _her Matty_ , as she was  _his Poppet_. They did not have to start from scratch with their relationship! Their relationship was right there. They merely had to add a new layer to it. Salome had to see he was not a newcomer! He was still the same friend, but with a twist! He wanted her to stop rejecting him... because everything was still the same. They had to be able to communicate as friends again before actually discussing the important issues... such as her disappointments and her doubts. Karen said: _dangerous, on your head be it_!!! Matt replied: _all in_!!! And that's what he was. 

 

With the help of Karen and Freema, Matt had managed to reschedule the entire day. He decided to give up on the Hamilton Island trip and to arrange a day at the Australia Zoo. Everything was very short notice, but Matt hoped that his little sneaky plan would help him win Salome's forgiveness. 

 

They arrived at the entrance and Matt gave his name.

 

“Oh, Mr. Smith. We were expecting you. We are so happy to have you all here.” The zoo staff member declared with a smile. He invited the three to follow him. The staff member took them to a lovely room full of pictures with animals and adventures.

 

“Please have a seat on the sofas. Your tour guide will soon be with you for a very memorable experience at our Zoo.”

 

Matt smiled and thanked the guy.

 

“Oh, Matt. This is lovely. I completely did not expect this! I am so excited!” Alex declared clapping her hands. “Salome, sweetheart. What do you think?”

 

“Hm. Whatever.” The teenager said but her eyes were all sparkling with joy while analyzing the pictures on the walls.

 

“I am so excited as well. We are going to hug a koala! How cool is that?!?” Matt said doing a small baby giraffe victory dance. Salome _almost_ laughed but cleared her voice and pretended to be coughing.    

 

“Seriously? We’re going to hug a koala???” The teenager asked on an even voice, determined not to acknowledge the momentary lowering of her guard at Matt’s ridiculous dance.

 

“A koala and not only!” The sweet voice of a girl said. Everyone turned their attention towards the door. Salome blinked twice in surprise and then squealed.

 

“Hello! I am Bindi Irwin. I will be your tour guide today.”

 

“Are you serious???” Salome asked almost starting to bounce around.

 

“Very much so!” Bindi said while putting her hand forward.

 

“Salome Haertel. Huuuuuuuuuge fan! You and your family… you are so inspirational…”

 

“Thank you so much. You are so kind…” Bindi smiled.

 

“Hello, Bindi. I am Matt… and this is the one and only, Alex Kingston.”

 

Bindi smiled and hurried to hug Matt and Alex: “Lovely, lovely, lovely to have you here! As Salome would say: _huuuuuuuuuge fan_!”

 

They all laughed.

 

“I cannot wait to show you around…" Bindi said with a large smile. "This Zoo is our world, our heritage, our fortune... everything my daddy held dear and fought for. And everything I and my brother are going to dedicate our lives to.”

 

“But…” Salome asked with worried eyes. “I know our visit was very short notice. Wasn’t it, Matthew? Aren’t we messing up your schedule? I mean, I really would not want us to do that... I know how busy you are and how important everything you do is… it would be just pure selfish of us to steal you from your duties and to keep you for ourselves…”

 

“Well, here is where the tour has a twist. I managed to reschedule some of my activities for today so that I can fit a lovely personalized tour for you. But... there is a _but_ … because, you see, I still need to do everything else. So the deal I made with Matt was that half of the day will be about us visiting the zoo. The other half will be about helping around. Salome, you will have to help me finish all my scheduled duties and chores for the day…”

 

“Wait, wait, wait! So what you’re saying is that… not only do we get to have the honour of having you as a tour guide, but I get to be your personal assistant for the day???” Salome exclaimed biting her lover lip.

 

Bindi laughed: “Well… if you want to put it that way! Now. Let’s waste no time. Salome, I have a khaki uniform ready for you. I left it in the other room. I will bring it right away. I really want you to wear it, since we take huge pride in our uniforms. Oh, and I also have a wee badge with your name.”

 

“Oh heavens! Yes! Yes! Yes! Definitely yes!” Salome bounced up and down clapping her hands.

 

“Ok, be right back.” Bindi smiled and left the room.

 

Salome turned around to face her quiet companions. The smirk on Matt’s face was speaking volumes.

 

The teenager crossed her arms and engaged into a “no blinking” game with Matt. Matt accepted the challenge. Alex rolled her eyes. They stared at each other for some good 30 seconds until Salome finally blinked and pointed a finger at Matt:

 

“Truce! I am offering you two a 12 hours truce!”

 

“Okay.” Matt smiled.

 

“But don’t try anything funny, Matthew! We’re not friends anymore. This is not me giving in. This is a truce!”

 

“Okay.” Matt laughed.

 

“And I will call you _Matty_ during the truce. Not because I am so easily bought by sneaky bribery… but because Matty is shorter than Matthew.”

 

“Okay.” Matt nodded.

 

“And!” Salome punctuated her words. “I have friends stalking your tags. If I see any indecent pictures of you two on social media... I will email them to Lily myself! And you two will get the scandal you deserve! Deal?” She sassyed.

 

“Okay.” Matt said and saluted. He had no problems in allowing her the impression of control.

 

“Careful with the holding hands, hugging, and kissing. I’m watching you two rebel children!”

 

“Yes, boss!” Matt said continuing to salute.

 

“And Matty…”

 

“Yes?” He said on a softer voice.

 

Salome rolled her eyes and jumped on him to hug him.

 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!”

 

Matt hugged her dearly and pressed a kiss on her head. Alex closed her eyes and let out a breath she didn't know she was holding.

 

“My absolute pleasure, Poppet.”

 

“Salome…” Bindi said sneaking her head in. “Wouldn’t you actually want to come to the other room to get dressed?”

 

“Yes. That’s a great idea!” Salome replied with a smile and followed Bindi out of the room.

 

Alex bit her lip and smiled. She looked at Matt with glittering eyes: “You are just… incredible.”

 

“No worries, love. I’m on it. I can do this. I’m in control.”

 

“She said it was only a truce…” Alex reminded him. Matt dragged her into his arms and quickly pressed his lips on hers.

 

“She does not hate us, nor the idea of us… She is not rejecting me as your partner. I am sure of it. I feel it. She is just mad at us for well… the same things we are mad at ourselves for. And yes, it does hurt knowing that she is mad at us, that we've disappointed her. It does hurt knowing that she knows we are having a terribly unfortunate beginning. It hurts to know that she knows there is a storm coming and that the near future will not be bright. But she does not hate us... and we must have faith in this. At the end of the day she will be on our side… you know she will. Trust me…”

 

“… you’re the Doctor.”

 

Matt giggled and kissed her again. Then jumped aside and started bouncing up and down like an excited puppy:

 

“ARGHHHHH!!! We’re actually at the Australia Zoo and going to hug koalas and spend a whole day with Bindi Irwin!!! Listen… Bindi said she had a name badge for Salome. Do you think she can get me one? I really want one as well… Can you tell her to get me one?"

 

Alex rolled her eyes: “Oh, great! I took the children out for a whole day at the Zoo. Heaven have mercy on me!!!”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

When the three arrived back at the hotel in Brisbane, late in the evening, Salome and Matt were still terribly hyper. Truce or no truce, they were laughing and acting as totally bff-s.

 

“How was it?” Freema asked with a smile when they met in the leisure room.

 

“Kill. Me. Now!” Alex said rolling her eyes.

 

“It was amazing!” Matt exclaimed.

 

“Best day ever!” Salome shouted.

 

“And the koalas are adorable!”

 

“And then Bindi did this thing…”

 

“Oh, yeah! That was just incredible!”

 

“I know. Like honestly, I would have never believed.”

 

“I would have been scared.”

 

Freema and Alex looked at the two excited kids who were rambling on and on, making no sense. The two women settled for a smile and nod policy. Salome eventually exhaled exhausted and threw herself on a sofa. Matt did the same and put one arm around the teenager's shoulders. They looked at each other and laughed. They looked very at ease with one another. 

 

“Ok, sweetie. We should go to bed. We have a flight all across the continent to catch tomorrow.” Alex said with a smile. "You two kids can finish your stories and share your prictures tomorrow on the plane."

 

“Quite right. I was about to go to bed as well when you arrived.” Freema admitted.

 

“Can I have a word with Matt first?” Salome asked.

 

Alex bit her lip but nodded: "Sure, sweetheart. But don't be long."

 

"I won't..." Salome promised. 

 

Alex looked at Matt and then at Salome. She just had to trust that everything would be fine. With half a smile that took all her strength, Alex took Freema's arm and they left for their rooms. 

 

“So?” Matt asked when finally alone with the teenager.

 

“So… the truce is almost over.”

 

“Yes, I kinda figured that it might be… Salome, can’t I please get an extension for, you know… ever?” He winked.

 

Salome narrowed her eyes. Matt sighed. Then the teenager nodded.

 

“Fine…” She said rolling her eyes. “But it was not cool what happened yesterday. I did not like it at all. It made me feel sad and I still am not happy… but you are the adults and I will just have to hope that you know what you’re doing.”

 

“I am so terribly sorry for yesterday. Please, please believe me that I regret it so much. We are the adults… and I want to believe that we know what we’re doing. But, me and your mom getting out of our own mess will not be easy. I would lie to you if I said that it will be easy. And I am so terribly sorry.”

 

“Do you love her?” Salome asked bluntly. 

 

“Yes, I love her very much…” Matt confessed with sincere eyes. 

 

“Does she love you?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

Matt smiled and nodded: “I am absolutely sure!”

 

“Then it does not matter that it won't be easy..." Salome whispered. 

 

"Thank you..." Matt said with a small tear falling down his cheek. 

 

“I am scared, you know…” The teenager admitted on a weak voice. “This year was supposed to unfold differently. I was looking forward to the wedding and to the new composition of our family. Mark was a good guy… he loved mom, too. And I blamed him so much in these past weeks. Now I feel so bad for all the negative thoughts I sent in his direction. Now I know it was not his fault. Now I know that it was mom’s fault… and I really am confused and disappointed with her… do I have the right to be?” She asked with tears in her eyes. "I was terribly mad with you... but it's her that I am most upset with..."

 

“Yes, of course you have the right to be disappointed. But you do not have the right of blaming only your mom for it. I am equally guilty... you cannot be upset with her and ok with me. Your mom is hurting a lot for disappointing you. She did not do it on purpose. She would have never done it on purpose. It all just happened. What we did was reckless and selfish. But, Salome… the only reason for which everything unfolded so miserably wrong these past months is because our resistance cracked. We are only human… forgive us. We gave up on common sense… and once common sense was go… hell broke loose. We should have done things differently. We really failed at reuniting in a decent manner. You have all the right to be disappointed in us. You have all right to question our ability to… adult. But we will prove you wrong. We will make things right. We will clean all the mess. I promise to you we will... Just forgive us... both of us.”

 

Salome rested her head on his shoulder. “Okay…”

 

“Thank you so much for giving us a chance to repair the damage…” Matt said and held her tight. 

 

“You mean ‘thank you for not adding to the pile of potentially catastrophic problems that need to be dealt with’.” Salome laughed.

 

“Well, that too!” He said starting tickling her.

 

"This is all I wanted to say. I am still a bit mne when I think about it... but I will get over it eventually..."  

 

“That's all I wanted to hear in the past 24 hours." Matt smiled. "Now… off you pop to bed! We have a flight all across the continent to catch tomorrow.” He continued and imitated Alex. Salome laughed and stoop up to salute.

 

“Oky-docky… _daddy_!” She said while rolling her eyes and pulling her tongue out as if she was about to throw up at the mere idea of her words.

 

“Get lost!”

 

“You wish!”

 

Matt just laughed and watched her run to the elevators. He was happy with his small victory. With it, he and Alex were one big step closer to the right path...

 

The day had been long and intense, and Matt felt like he needed a glass of whiskey before going to sleep. He went to the bar and slowly sipped from his beverage, lost in his thoughts. When he finished, he put his glass down and went upstairs. He felt tired, but it's all been worth it.

 

All was well!

 

Matt opened the door and stepped inside the room when someone just jumped on him and started kissing him passionately!!!

 

“SURPRISE!!!”

 

“Lily…”

 

Matt’s heart sank to the floor and he felt like getting a panic attack.

 

All was so not well... 


	13. "Fun" Down Under - Part 10

**_Brisbane, May 11 th \- 12th. _ **

 

“What are you doing here?” Matt asked slowly breaking the kiss.

 

“I missed you so, so, so much! And then things happened and things changed in my schedule and I decided to tag along! Isn’t this brilliant?” Lily asked with the brightest of smiles.

 

“It is… just…” Matt bit his lower lip and started laughing. It looked cute to her, but that was the laughter of a madman overwhelmed with the realization of losing control over a delicate situation. “… just, perfect. It is just perfect. Just what I needed.”

 

Lily giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck even tighter. She pressed her little nose on his and started giving him eskimo kisses. She giggled again, then she bit his lower lip and slowly sucked on it before going for a fully passionate kiss. Matt responded to her kiss allowing his tongue to get tangled with hers. Meanwhile, his mind was racing with the speed of light. What was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to react? His body was mechanically responding to her touches, but his mind was desperately trying to find a way out. No salvation plan came up, though. He could not just break her up then and there. Everything would backfire into a large scale disaster. For him, for her, for Alex, for the convention! A scandal would be inevitable. Matt felt his mind foggy. His brain was acting as a computer which returned error after error. And he had no idea how to reboot it, how to compose himself! How to act. The longer he thought about the mess he was in, the more panicked he became.

 

Matt was zapped back to reality by Lily pushing him on the bed and climbing on top of him. She straddled him and, before he realized, her arms were underneath his shirt.

 

“Lil… Lil…” His hands grabbed her wrists and stopped her fingers from roaming on his abdomen. He gave her a weak smile before turning his head to one side.

 

“No, no, no…” Lily protested and laughed. She freed her hands from his grip and caught his chin with one hand. She kept his head steady while bending and kissing him again.

 

Matt went for the kiss for some ten seconds, then he slowly grabbed her shoulders: “Sweetheart… love… I am honestly so terribly tired. Long day!”

 

Lily laughed. “Tell me about it! I just crossed half the planet to be with my boyfriend! I am super tired as well... but we can always relax together...” She smirked and her hands went automatically to his jeans, undoing his belt and buttons. “We'll taking it slooow... and hot. We’re starting with something you love and then we move on to the things I love...” She said sensually. 

 

“Lily…”

 

“Be serious, Matty-watty. What man in his right mind refuses a blowjob?” She giggled as her small fingers were already doing their best to please him. 

 

Matt sighed and forced a smile, feeling very well that he was getting hard under her touch. She slid down and almost pressed her lips on him when Matt grabbed her hands:

 

“Lil… baby… we’ll do anything you want. You don’t have to…” He said and tried to pull her back up in order to kiss her. That was somehow more acceptable.

 

Lily laughed: “Of course I don’t have to. But I want to! Because I love you and I missed you and you are mine and you are tired and I want to make you happy!”

 

Matt closed his eyes and, feeling utterly defeated, he whispered: “All yours…”

 

Lilly giggled and happily clapped her hands. She bent to kiss him while her hands hurried to fully remove his clothes. Matt submitted. His only way out of her delicate paws was to get done with it.

 

He let her do whatever she wanted. He made love to her for as long as she wanted. He refused her nothing, and then, when she placed her head on his chest, Matt wrapped one arm around her and pressed a small kiss on her forehead.

 

“I love you…” Lily whispered.

 

Matt closed his eyes and felt his heart breaking: “Me too…”

 

He silently waited for her to fall asleep. The seconds seemed as long as centuries, but she eventually slipped into the realm of dreams. As soon as that happened, Matt slowly took his arm away and stood up from bed. He put his boxers back on and went to the bathroom. He closed the door and locked it. He turned with his back to the door and slid down. He dared not look in the mirror. He grabbed his face into his palms and succumbed into his desperation.

 

Alex was literally next door! He cheated on Alex while she was literally next door! He had sex with another woman while Alex was sleeping next door. He told another woman he loved her while Alex… _his_ Alex… was. next. door.

 

 _Well, technically you did not cheat on Alex…_ – his inner voice tried to help him.

 

Matt shook his head violently. Technically? Technicalities did not matter! They did not matter at all! Not when his whole mind and his whole heart shouted differently.

 

What the fuck was he going to do? How would he ever tell Alex? How would Alex react? Matt bit his hand to refrain from screaming his frustration.

 

He knew well how Alex would react! She would feel betrayed. She would turn all defensive. All her doubts crawling in! All those stupid common sense arguments. She would just give up, get back into her shell. Everything would crumble. Everything would be lost in vain the second Alex would see Lily. All the struggle, all the promises, their future… gone.

 

Matt stayed there, on his butt, on the bathroom floor and allowed himself to silently cry. He saw no way out. He feared the morning… but Alex had to know. She needed to be informed about Lily’s arrival. Matt simply could not let her come to breakfast and be greeted with a shocking surprise.

 

With difficulty, he stood up from the floor. He washed his face with cold water and looked in the mirror. He looked terrible! Absolutely terrible. He sighed and went back to the room. Lily was peacefully sleeping with her blonde hair and frail naked body getting lost in the white sheets.

 

He felt so sorry for the poor creature. Caught in the fires of a battle that wasn’t hers. His heart was already aching for the pain their inevitable break-up would inflict. He walked towards her bed and brushed his fingers through her hair.

 

“I am so sorry…” He whispered softly.

 

Matt took his phone from the night desk. He went to sit down on the sofa and started scrolling through his Zoo pictures, from earlier that day. He could hardly believe that the Zoo trip happened that day. It felt ages away. He looked at the many pictures he had with Alex. She was so adorable, smiling all the time. Only the thought of her beautiful smile being erased again made his heart burn. He could not lose her again. He could not allow it to be all lost. They had to find a way to survive the mess. She could not just give up as per usual! She promised him to never give up again…

 

“Please… please… please!” He whispered while looking at the screen from where she was blowing him a kiss. Her curly hair was a magical halo shining in the sun. He loved that picture. He loved that woman.

 

He sighed. 4:27 a.m. It was high time for him to sleep. He went to messages and wrote:

 

_“Lily is here. She wanted to surprise me. Thought it would be better for you to know before breakfast. I really need to talk to you. Can we find a way to talk? I beg of you just listen to me before… before anything else. Please. Ily.”_

Matt threw his phone on the sofa before returning in bed next to his Cinderella.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“So mommy, I was thinking…” Salome said while getting out of the shower and skipping back into the room. “Mommy?”

 

The teenager forgot her thought when she saw Alex seated on the edge of the bed with her head buried into her hands. She was obviously crying.

 

“Mommy… what happened?”

 

Alex raised her head and looked at her daughter. Her eyes were red and her cheeks were covered in tears. She didn’t really know what to say, so she just handed the phone to Salome. The girl took it reluctantly, her eyes still fixed on her mother’s heartbreaking expression. Salome took in a deep breath before looking down at the phone. As soon as she read the message, she blinked a couple of times and started troubling her lower lip with the teeth. She handed the telephone back. Alex took it and put it on the bed with the tears still silently falling down her cheeks.

 

Salome looked into her mother’s red eyes. Alex looked back at her daughter.

 

They did not even realize they were holding their breaths as the silence became unbearable. None of them knew what to do or say. Long moments passed before the teenager whispered:

 

“You cannot give up…” Two big tears rolled down her cheeks.

 

“But…”

 

“No. No… No…” Salome whispered wiping her tears with the towel she was still wrapped in. “You’ve taken some terrible decisions this year… and I just guess you have to pay for that. But you cannot give up. You know you already won, mommy. You won. Matty is yours. He loves you. He really does. He will always be yours. This is not a challenge, this is not a competition… it’s just payback time. Karma.”

 

“Salome…” Alex whispered as her daughter’s words pierced right through her soul.

 

“Just pay your due with your head up high!”

 

“What sort of example am I for you?” Alex asked starting sobbing even harder.

 

“The best there is!” The girl replied and hurried to hug her mom. “The best there is… And you have to show me again how strong you are. You have to teach me again how to… carry on. We’ll manage. I’ll shield you from them until the convention is over. I won’t let you see them together. I won’t let you hurt… I promise… We will manage mommy… just don’t give up…”

 

“Thank you so much, baby…” Alex replied desperately clinging herself on her daughter.

 

Salome started playing with her mother’s hair while snuggling close. She could be as upset with her as she wanted, but when her mom was genuinely hurting, there was absolutely no doubt in which camp the daughter found herself.

 

After some minutes, the teenager smiled and broke the embrace: “Come on… we have to go to breakfast and meet the _Mrs._! Chop-chop! Do your hair, put on make-up and pretty clothes.”

 

“Salome…” Alex said rolling her eyes and sighing. 

 

“Sorry mom, but you are not going downstairs with red eyes and dark circles.” The daughter said with a sassy attitude, attempting to drag Alex into a playful exchange of lines.

 

“I thought you said it was not a competition…” Alex said with a weak smile. 

 

“It isn’t…. but in all honesty you simply look like hell. And if Matt looks at least half as bad as you do, even the astronauts in the international satellites will take a hint!” Salome winked. 

 

“Aren’t you a darling?” Alex said rolling her eyes and wiping her tears with her palms.

 

"I am a sugar pie! But if you think I am bad, just you wait till _grandma_ arrives here on Friday. She'll thoroughly explain to you the definition of  _tough love_."

 

"Oh, great!" Alex said letting herself fall on the bed and covering her face with the pillow. "I am miserable enough even without Karen Gillan turning my broken heart into haggis."

 

Salome laughed and jumped on the bed right on top of her mother starting to tickle her. Alex laughed as well. In the desperate times that came ahead, her daughter's support meant more than the world to her.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you... ah, liked? the chapter.  
> But just in case, I am hiding in some snake hole till next Sunday. Xx


	14. "Fun" Down Under - Part 11

_**Brisbane, Perth - May 12th.** _

 

Alex got out of the bathroom still brushing her fingers through her wild curls. She was dressed with a flowery skirt and a black and white blouse. Salome would never approve of the outfit, but Alex really could not be bothered:

 

“So, Salome? Do I look good enough now? Can we finally go to…”

 

She suddenly stopped when their eyes met, and her hand slowly fell from her curls. 

 

“You always look more than just good enough…” Matt said with a sad smile on his lips.

 

“Matt…?”

 

“Lily is showering. We’re going to a cafeteria to have breakfast.”

 

“I see…”

 

“No… no… not like that! I figured that it would be the best things to do given the whole situation." Matt tried to explain and excuse himself. "Can we please talk?”

 

“Where is Salome?”

 

“She went for breakfast… and said she’ll meet you there.” Matt said quickly and held his breath. Alex nodded and kept silent.

 

“Where… where are we standing?” He asked closing his eyes painfully.

 

“Right in the middle of my hotel room in Brisbane?” Alex asked on a bitter and sarcastic tone.

 

“For heaven sake! Don’t do this… I beg of you, don’t do this! This cold, snappy, sassy attitude… please don’t. It’s not my fault in any way. Please just no… please.”

 

Alex rolled her eyes and sighed: “I know… I know it’s not your fault. It’s just…”

 

“Please, just listen to me!” With two quick steps, Matt closed the distance between them and pulled her into his arms. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight: “I love you. Lily being here changes nothing in the long run. I love you! Please don’t shut me out. Please don’t pull me away. Please don’t act like… well, yourself! Don’t run away. Don’t hide. Don’t give up on us… on me!”

 

Alex closed her eyes to shut back the tears. She could feel his cheek wet on her forehead. She could feel his heart beating. She knew that every second in which she did not hug him back, every second in which she did not speak, sent him down a spiraling pathway of pain. He clung on her for dear life… and heaven, she just had to do the same! She needed it with every cell of her body. Her arms wrapped around his upper body and she desperately tried to pull him even closer.

 

“I won’t… I won’t give up on you. Not this time… not this time... I won't...”

 

Matt gasped as if he found it hard to believe her words. Without taking his arms from around her, he pulled his head back a little to stare into her eyes. Was she indeed meaning it? That was way too easy and too good to be true! But Alex smiled sadly and kissed his cheek, collecting his fallen tears with her lips.

 

“I am not giving up… I am not, love. You’re mine, right?” 

 

Matt smiled and caught her lips with his: “Only yours.”

 

“Only mine…” She repeated softly, no longer being able to hold back a couple of tears.

 

“What do you want us to do?” Matt asked still slowly kissing her. “Name it and we’re doing it… we just need to sync our plans. We have to be on the same page. We cannot afford not knowing exactly what the other feels or thinks…”

 

“I know, I know…” Alex said breaking the kiss and moving away from his arms. She turned with her back at him and walked a couple of steps away. She sighed and turned back to look at him: “I want the convention to be over. I want us to have as little interaction as possible until then. I know it’s not your fault… I am not blaming you, I am not mad at you… I just cannot bear the thought of you and her together. I don’t want to see it. I don’t want to know about it… what you and Lily do until you break up is in absolutely none of my business… I just… don’t want to know!!!”

 

Matt could not look at her anymore. Memories from the previous night flooded his mind. He automatically put his head in the ground, looking terribly guilty. Alex gasped.

 

“I am sorry…”

 

“Oh, my God!!!” Alex covered her face with her palms. She made a great effort to swallow the cascade of tears that were threatening to fall and to look back up. “I don’t want to know… I don’t… even want to think… oh! Oh, my God…” She closed her hand into a fist and, lifting it to her lips, she bit her bones as hard as she could. The thought made her sick.

 

“Alex…” Matt whispered and took two steps towards her.

 

“I am fine… I am fine…” She stopped him by stretching her arm to keep him at a distance. He could see the marks of her teeth on the soft skin, he could see how she could barely keep her hand steady, and how tears were falling silently despite her efforts of pushing them away.

 

“It won’t happen again…”

 

“Please… it does not matter.” She crossed her arms around her hurting heart. Was it possible for it to physically break? Because it definitely felt like that. “Really. It doesn’t. I am sure you tried to avoid it and you couldn’t… not without breaking up with her. I don’t want her to get more hurt than she will. I don’t want her to suffer more than she will. I don’t want her to feel humiliated and outright rejected. You cannot break up with her now. You cannot shove it into her face. You know you cannot. I know you cannot! I am aware of this! The whole affair will explode in our faces and create a massive scandal. And hurt everyone so much more!!! Just… just act normally. It’s fine. It really is…”

 

“I know it isn’t…”

 

“It’s not as if you’re cheating on me Matt. She’s your girlfriend. I cannot be absurd. At the end of the day… it’s my fault anyway.”

 

“Alex, it’s not…”

 

“It is though… and you know it is even if you’re not going to admit it now. You made it clear a couple of days ago that it was all my fault. I did not take your ring. I did not call you. I did not follow you to London… I messed it up, again. Quite big time, this time. As Salome put it, it’s time to pay my dues for every single time I let you slip through my fingers and made you suffer.”

 

“Alex, don’t speak like this… Please let me get closer.” He begged taking one more step towards her. 

 

Alex shook her head: “No, this is not self-pity. No worries. I am not playing the victim. I am just trying to man up, here. But please… just… don’t be around. Take her out. Have walks… trips… whatever. Just don’t be around. I beg of you… don’t force me to see you with her… Save me the heartache.” She begged.

 

“I love you… and I hurt as well, you know? And I feel guilty. And I feel bad about myself. I feel like a player and a traitor and a… fraud. Don’t for one second think that I have it easy…”

 

“I know…” She whispered opening her arms.       

 

Matt exhaled loudly in relief and hurried to hold her in his arms again: “You won’t see us getting cozy together or anything. I promise. I’ll keep her at arm’s length if I have to when we’re around. It’s just five more days or so… they’ll pass somehow.” He sighed. “I cannot wait for happily ever after.”

 

That managed to steal a smile from her. “Likewise…”

 

“I want you in the most beautiful ivory dress… flowers in your hair and in your hand.” Matt said smiling sadly and pressing a kiss on her forehead.

 

“Somewhere in a small English church.” She let herself dream away as well. Whatever helped in coping with the darkness that surrounded them was a blessing.

 

“With the grass in the courtyard having the greenest green…”

 

“And some delightful bells…”

 

“Twinkling and tinkling…”

 

“Maybe a choir of children…” She giggled resting her head on his shoulder.

 

“And a harp…”

 

“Peace and calm…”

 

“Peace and calm.” He whispered repeating her words. 

 

“I want you to stay. Now and forever... but you should go.”

 

Matt nodded and reluctantly let his arms slide away from her. He pressed another kiss on her soft and salty lips before turning around and walking to the door.

 

“Matt…”

 

“Yes?” He said turning his head towards her again.

 

“Bring me a coffee from the cafeteria? Strong, but sweet.”

 

He smiled and held back the desperate urge of running back to her: “Just like the woman I love.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Three knocks on the door.

 

"Seriously?" She growled. Salome laughed. 

 

Alex rolled her eyes and stood up from bed. It was probably around 10 pm, and she was very much done with the day! She was in her pajama watching a film with Salome on the laptop. It’s been an emotional day which started with a hard to stomach text from Matt, and then continued with a difficult to get through conversation, a noisy breakfast, meeting Lily James, packing for Perth, running to the airport, avoiding Lily James and Matt Smith, flying to the other side of Australia, avoiding looking at Lily possessively holding Matt’s hand at the airport, wanting to throw up from pain, meeting new organizers, smiling politely at everyone, giving fake explanations as to why she wanted to have dinner at McDonalds instead of joining everyone else… pff! A day from hell! What was so hard to understand that for her the day was over!?!?

 

Whoever was knocking, was definitely going to regret the decision of disturbing her. Alex opened the door with narrow eyes, but she was immediately greeted by Matt’s smile:

 

“Why aren’t you dressed? Get dressed!”

 

“What?” Alex frowned even more. 

 

“My move!” He said with a wide smile and waved to Salome who was curiously staring at them from the bed. 

 

“Matt, you cannot be serious!” Alex looked at him and rolled her eyes.

 

“I am. Look, I am sorry. With everything that happened today I completely forgot about this. I planned this some days ago. Actually, I had everything arranged as soon as that plane landed in Brisbane!”

 

“What are you even talking about?”

 

“You said erotic but, not sex.” Matt whispered making sure Salome could not hear the words. “My move… you cannot ditch it. It will be fun.”

 

“Matt, you really cannot mean it… nothing can possibly be fun today, or tomorrow, or the day after.”

 

“But this will be fun!!! I promise on all my 12 new regenerations!” He winked at her. 

 

“Matt, stop it! Stop it with the smile and the silly!" She hissed at him.

 

With the corner of the eye Alex spotted how her daughter politely took a towel and stepped into the bathroom for a shower. With Salome in the shower, Alex opened the door more and allowed Matt to enter the room. It was safer is no one spotted them having a heated conversation - or worse, hearing what they were talking about. 

 

"Trying to smile and to enjoy the Whoniverse side of this Australian mess is the only thing we have that keeps us above the deadly moving sands we're swimming in!"

 

Alex sighed and closed her eyes for a second: "I know, but I cannot! Don’t make me do it. Don’t make me show my face in public.” She begged with very sad eyes. “Plus, you promised this morning I won’t have to be exposed to you and Lily… and I have already had more than I can stomach!!! And don’t say she won’t come, because that would be even worse! That would be going behind her back…”

 

Matt sighed: “No, she is coming, but everyone else is as well. So I will be very careful to be… equally social with everyone. I told you that I will be very careful and that I will not expose you, under any circumstances to any public display of affection, pet-names or anything! The only reason for which she grabbed me so tight at the airport was because I slept and ignored her two thirds of the flight. Please! I am trying hard to deal with life! Please. Just... the day was awful and this will be fun. And we are expected to attend. The event was in the schedule for a couple of days now…”

 

“I didn’t check…”

 

“It’s a salsa night…”

 

“A salsa night?”

 

“Yeah… doesn’t it fit your criteria?” Matt winked.

 

Alex smiled weakly: “Well, I suppose it does.”

 

“You cannot hide in the room the whole time and turn your back when I am around. It will be way too obvious to everyone…” He tried to persuade her.

 

“I suppose.”

 

“So? Are you coming? I will stay away from you, away from Lily. I just want you to have a bit of fun and to relax. Please! I did it for you... I just wished I remembered this morning or so, but with everything the salsa night was the last thing on my mind.”

 

"Fine... fine. I will see if Salome is ok with spending the evening alone watching films... and if she does not have a too big problem with it, and if she thinks this is sensible decision and that I should go, then I will make an effort and come."

 

In less than an hour, Alex found herself on the dance floor of a nice pub in Perth. She decided to free her mind and get lost in the music. She and her hips quickly became the real sensation of the place. Everyone hurried to offer her a cocktail or to ask her for a dance. She refused nothing and no one. After all, the more she mingled, the less she had to be around the Whoniverse people – particularly Lily and Matt. With every melody that passed and every drink she had, the weight she had to carry on her shoulders just seemed lighter.

 

Matt followed her with his eyes most of the night, but did not bother her. He did not even ask her to dance with him. He wanted it desperately, and that's exactly why it would have been too dangerous. The most important thing was that the night turned out to be beautiful for her. And that was what he wanted. He wanted her to enjoy herself and rule the place. The fact that he imagined the whole evening differently, with him playing a more central role, was a whole different story. Maybe another time…

 

When their party decided to leave, Freema was delegated to go break the news to Alex. Unfortunately, Alex did not seem too eager to leave. Freema and the main organizer tried to convince her that it was not very sensible for her to remain alone at that hour in a city that presently harboured many of her devoted and potentially too excited fans.

 

“Sweeties, I am an over 50 years old woman. I am pretty convinced that I do not have a curfew and that I am very well capable of taking care of myself.”

 

Freema nodded and gave up. The two returned to the others, who were already putting their coats on.

 

“And Alex?” Matt asked frowning.

 

“Not coming.”

 

“What do you mean not coming?”

 

“Well, she’s still dancing and does not want to leave.” Freema said lifting her shoulders.

 

“Well, she cannot stay, for heaven sake!” Matt insisted.

 

“Matt, give the woman a break! She wants to stay, she stays! Can’t you see she owns the place?” Lily said laughing. “You cannot drag her home when she is having fun. What you can do is stay and take care of her.”

 

Matt looked at Lily not entirely convinced he's heard her correctly.

 

“I am tired anyway. And I will be with the others, and very much safe in the hotel.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Why wouldn’t I be sure?” Lily frowned.

 

“Ah… no reason. Just asking.”

 

As soon as everyone left, he openly started staring at her dancing with other men. Don’t expose me to you and Lily, she said. What about her exposing him to her and men? Well, it was different. They did not count. They were random dance partners. But that was salsa! The whole point of him organizing the evening was because she demanded something erotic. Well, erotic and not sex. But this was erotic! And she was being… erotic with other men! Hell, he kept on repeating the word erotic too much again, didn’t he? Matt shook his head. Enough with his head conversations.

 

He headed to the dance floor and grabbed her hand, very impolitely stealing her from her partner.

 

“Mine.” He hissed at her.

 

“What are you doing?”

 

“Bodyguarding my boss lady. Now shut up and dance!”

 

“I don’t take orders.” Alex said with a smirk.

 

“Too bad. Because I don’t take ‘no’s. You owe me at least one dance since this is very much my move.”

 

“Too late…” She said but they already started dancing. “You should have asked earlier. Now I am too drunk for reason and decency.”

 

“I like you the most when you’re indecent to me… and with me.”

 

“Why are you winding me up when you know very well you cannot help me... release tension, later?” She asked pulling her tongue out at him. 

 

“Because you made me drunk with jealousy.” Matt admitted and twirled her around.

 

Alex just laughed. Matt looked at her and felt his heart melting. She was such an incredible human being! He could not wait for the days to come, the days when he would be able to help her release tension whenever she felt... tense. But most importantly, he could not wait for the days when he would be able to present her to the world as his better half, his wife, his raison d’étre.

 

After three very much erotic dances, Matt declared that the situation on his lower levels was becoming increasingly uncomfortable and asked if they could leave. Alex laughed, but nodded and went to take her coat. Matt opened the door for her and stopped a taxi. They spent the ride at opposite ends of the back seat just smiling to one another. They wanted each other badly, and they knew it. But they were equally aware that it was not the time, nor the place for anything like that. They will both have to do with a shower... well, or Lily for Matt. Alex bit her tongue. Better not to go there. Not when the alcohol in her system was pushing her self-control abilities to their limits and it was so easy to give in to temptation. Oh so easy... 

 

She looked at him with lusty eyes and he bit his lower lip just as the taxi stopped in front of the hotel. They got out of the vehicle and went inside. 

 

"I am quite off the rails..." She confessed.

 

"I can see it in your eyes." Matt smiled and pressed the lift button. "You will have so much fun with the hangover tomorrow!" He teased.

 

“Aren’t you a darling?”

 

“I suppose I am, since ‘darling’ is exactly what you prefer to call me.” He winked and tucked a curl behind her ear. 

 

“For my own sanity’s sake, please take your pretty face somewhere I cannot see it. Because I will not be responsible for my actions.”

 

Matt laughed: "I will take the stairs." 

 

"My body revolts to your proposition, as it eagerly waited to have you trapped in a small place. But the last sober remains of my common sense are applauding yours."

 

Matt laughed even harder: "Trust me, my common sense is not the reason why I am taking the stairs instead of pinning you to the elevator's mirror."

 

"Oh... Matt..." She begged. 

 

He tapped the tip of her nose with his finger: "It's your common sense. Because when it will fully wake up tomorrow, it will kill me with fire."

 

Just in that moment the elevator arrived and Alex exhaled in relief: "Saved by the bell!"

 

Alex went inside and pressed the button. She smirked to him: “Matt!”

 

"Yes?" He asked fluttering his eyelashes while the door were slowly closing, putting a barrier between them. 

 

“My move.”


	15. "Fun" Down Under - Part 12

**_Perth, May 13 th. _ **

 

Lily woke up early in the morning and went to the hotel’s gym for a twenty minutes run on the treadmill. When she returned to their room, Matt was still sleeping.

 

“Oh, heavens! Matty! Wake up!” She said throwing her towel at him.

 

“Hm… five minutes more...” Matt hummed and rolled on the other side.

 

“You said ‘five minutes more’ 30 minutes ago as well! Up, you big baby! Up! Up! You were supposed to be ready to go!”

 

“Please just five…”

 

Lily laughed and walked towards the bathroom: “No. No. No. Wake up. We will be late…”

 

“Late for what?” Matt asked yawning. “The convention is only in the afternoon…”

 

“The children hospital, Matt!” Lily said rolling her eyes. “You have ten minutes until I shower. Better be up and running when I finish.”

 

“Oh, yes… the children hospital. I will be up, no worries... I am just getting up… five minutes…” Matt promised and yawned again.

 

“Good. Because if you’re not up, I will not allow you to party with Alex Kingston anymore. She is obviously a bad influence on you.” Lily joked and entered the bathroom.

 

But she stopped her tracks as soon as she closed the door. She frowned and turned her head backwards for a couple of seconds. Did Matt just… hiss and growl at her? Did he? When she mentioned Alex?

 

She removed her clothes and got into the shower sighing. Maybe she just imagined it. She closed her eyes and allowed the hot water to comfort her. But the thought clung to her brain and did not want to get away. She shook her head. That was plain ridiculous! Matt and Alex together was a joke of the fans! Her messed up hormones were messing up with her brain and emotions more and more…

 

Lily took in a deep breath. She had to take that test. Regardless of how scared she was. She kept on telling to herself that she postponed it for such a long time because she was alone, because she’s been in L.A. and Matt’s been in London and then Australia. She kept on telling to herself that she postponed it because she definitely did not want to be alone when taking that test... but in reality, she postponed it because she was terrified of the result.

 

She had to talk to Matt. She definitely had to. She was already four weeks late. What if she was actually pregnant? She could not leave her pregnancy develop too much in case Matt didn’t want them to keep the baby… Or well, in case she didn’t want to keep it. She was frightened. She was only 26. Could she handle a child? And Matt? Wouldn’t he be angry with her?

 

Lily pushed the thoughts out of her mind. There was nothing she could do for the moment. She had to wait for the convention to be over. Then she would ask him whether they could extend their holiday and go somewhere nice in the beautiful Oz. And then, they could have some time alone and decide what to do. One week more was not that bad, was it? I mean, she could still have an abortion at six weeks if Matt wanted one...

 

She left the bathroom and returned to the room. Matt was up and stretching while awaiting his turn in the shower.

 

“Good boy!” Lily smiled.

 

“Thank you.” Matt laughed and went directly to the bathroom. Lily frowned.

 

Just like that? No pet name? No second glance? No caress on the cheek? No peck on the lips? Did he just walk past her like she was not even there?

 

Lily shook her head. For heaven sake Lily, she thought, stop with the useless overthinking! You asked the poor creature to hurry up!

 

But she couldn’t stop. She really couldn’t stop with the overthinking!

 

The more she thought of it, the more she realized that something’s been wrong with Matt in the past month. He’s been different, distant in some ways.

 

Lily sighed and got dressed. As soon as Matt was out of the shower, she put on a brave smile.

 

“Are you ok?” Matt asked her and frowned.

 

“Yes… why wouldn’t I be ok, bebe?” Lily asked lifting her shoulders.

 

“Because you are very pale.” Matt said and went to press a kiss on her forehead.

 

Lily smiled and wrapped her arms around his upper body. “I am fine, no worries. Working out before breakfast… you know how I get when I do that.”

 

“I thought I told you not to do it anymore.” Matt scolded her and softly kissed her cheek.

 

“I am fine.” Lily assured him.

 

“I’ll take your word for it, because I must. But I’ll get dressed and we’ll go get you some nice breakfast. Deal?” Matt smiled.

 

Lily nodded. She was definitely just imagining it!!!

 

Matt was as sweet as always. What was the actual point of her silly hormones? To turn her against any female around Matt? She was not that type of person and she refused to be one! Thus body dear, whatever you’re doing, just stop! – Lily thought.

 

After they locked the door, Lily grabbed Matt’s hand. He did not pull away as they walked towards the elevator and into the restaurant.

 

Alex Kingston was having breakfast and coffee alone at one table. She was also supposed to go with them at the children hospital, so there was no wonder why she was up so early. They didn’t take more than a couple of steps towards Alex when Matt slowly removed his hand from the grip.

 

Lily's heart skipped a beat. Ok! She was definitely not imagining it!

 

“Good morning, Alex.” Matt said with a smile when they reached her table.

 

“Hm… good? Not sure how good, but morning. Please do join me…” Alex offered.

 

Matt immediately pulled a chair for Lily and invited her to sit while slowly rubbing her back. Then he sat next to her.

 

Ok! She was just imagining it! Lily thought and sat down with a smile.

 

“Why isn’t your morning too good, Alex dear?” She asked while reaching for the menu.

 

“Pff… because my head is giving me hell!” Alex confessed rolling her eyes.    

 

Matt laughed a little too hard: “That usually happens when one loses count of how many cocktails they had.”

 

Alex glared at him. Lily saw this as a perfect opportunity.

 

“Bebe, don’t be rude…” The younger woman said on a baby voice and grabbed Matt's chin. She dragged him towards her and pressed her lips on his, for a couple of seconds too long. Alex automatically let her eyes down in the plate. Lily immediately spotted this reaction with the corner of her eye.

 

“Right…” Matt said as soon as Lily pulled away. He looked around for a waiter while avoiding looking at either of the two women. “I really need a coffee before anything else…”

 

That was it!!! Hormones, no hormones… she was definitely not imagining it.

 

As the day progressed Lily became increasingly more convinced that Matt and Alex had feelings for each other. Everything he did, everything she said, confirmed it and reasserted it second after second. Lily tried to hide her emotions the best she could, but her head was flooded with troubled thoughts. She did not want to believe that Matt’s been cheating on her, no… not that. But he definitely had some sort of more-than-friendly feelings for his former co-star. Did they date at any point in the past? Lily clearly remembered that Matt never mentioned Alex when they discussed passed relationships in the beginning of theirs.

 

Lily went through the day without saying a word about her troubled mind. But when she found herself sitting crossed-legged in an armchair, in a cozy room backstage, watching the panel on screen, Lily could do little else but sigh. Alex and Matt acted in every bit as a couple. Show-business and whatnot, but their chemistry was electric. Lily however refused to believe that the former co-stars had any sort of affair in the present. Matt wasn’t that sort of man… but one had to be blind to deny the feelings between the two. They certainly dated at some point...

 

And then Salome, who was sitting on the nearby sofa, gasped. Lily looked at the teenager as her own eyes widened. What did they say??? Lily's full attention turned towards the panel: 

 

_“And certainly every time I say goodbye to Matt, it’s always hard!”_

_“Yeah. That is actually true!”_ Matt acknowledged while Alex started laughing. Matt cracked into laughter as well, realizing he got away with it.

 

 _“And actually watching… watching…”_ Alex began, but then it clicked. It took her a couple of seconds to realize how Matt’s twisted her words. And when she realized it, it was too late. He was eye sexing her already. And her mind got foggy, oh so foggy. She just giggled a bit more repeating the same senseless words: _“watching… watching…”_ She had no idea how to get out of that.

 

 _“Oh, honest to God!!! Seriously???”_  Alex said jokingly but on a rather annoyed tone.

_“Sparks flew!”_ Matt laughed and winked at her.

 

Lily blinked twice. _Sparks flew. Sparks? Flew?_

 

Salome cringed and looked at Lily. The younger woman caught the teenager’s reaction, but made an effort to laugh:

 

“These two are hilarious. I swear.” Lily said with a bright smile.

 

 “Yeah… they kinda are…” Salome replied with a fake smile.

 

“They are absolutely brilliant at winding up the audience. No wonder they are so loved! They sell very well: the Doctor and his wife. Double the trouble! Just brilliant.”

 

Salome nodded in relief, being convinced that Lily suspected nothing. The younger woman giggled and turned her attention back to the screen.

 

Behind the joyful attitude, Lily’s world was falling apart around her. The teenager’s reaction confirmed it all: she’s been a fool, because Alex and Matt were more than just platonic. As soon as Salome went back to paying more attention to her phone than to the real world, Lily stood up and went to the other end of the room where her bag and Matt’s bag were thrown on a table.

 

Without thinking about it twice, she opened his bag and took his phone. It was password protected, but Lily knew the password, so she typed it in. She would have never guessed that one day she would do such a despicable thing as infringing Matt’s privacy in order to look for infidelity proof. But there she was, going straight to his messages.

 

Lily frowned. Alex’s thread was completely empty. Matt and Alex Kingston had no sms exchange whatsoever? That could not be right. She knew for a fact that they texted every now and then. And Matt always saved his texts! The lack of messages from and towards Alex was definitely a proof that the two had something to hide. Lily rolled her eyes and went on to check Matt’s messages with Karen. The last message he received from Karen was two days before his arrival in Australia. Weirdly enough, Karen appeared as the last person he texted to / received a text from. The fact that there were no new messages from Karen despite the fact that her name was at the very top of his message list meant that Matt had erased all their texts in the past week and a half. Lily sighed and swallowed hard. She could not afford to start crying then and there. Just when she decided to put his phone back in the bag, Matt received a whatsapp notification.

 

Lily opened it immediately. It was, however, nothing of great importance. Just a picture from Laura. She was enjoying herself on some sunny beach and she was sending silly faces to her brother. Lily smiled. She loved Laura.

 

The picture from Laura, however, gave Lily the idea of checking Matt’s photo gallery.

 

And with that door opened, all traces of doubt were erased from her mind: not only that Alex’s golden curls occupied more than 80% of all the pictures Matt took in the past week, but there were also pictures with the two holding hands and kissing at the Australia Zoo. Smiling. Laughing. Having absolutely not a care in the world. Enjoying their affair and their vacation behind her back!

  

A couple of tears feel down her face as Lily’s right hand rested on her belly. She had to know! Urgently!

 

“Sals, love…” Lily said with a weak smiled while returning to the sofa.

 

“Yes?”

 

“I feel very bad because I have really horrible period pains… plus, I just noticed I ran out of pads. I really cannot be bothered to wait for the convention to be over with all the autograph session and stuff. So I will ask someone to drive me back to the hotel. Can you please tell Matty, when he finishes the panel, that I’ll be waiting at the hotel?”

 

“Oh, darling… Are you ok?” Salome asked with worried eyes.

 

“Yes, I am fine… no worries. It sometimes happens, it’s a pain in the arse to be a woman. I will be more than perfect after a warm bath…”

 

And with that she was gone. Lily left the convention venue as fast as she could. She returned to the hotel and ran to her room. After putting on a hoodie in order to pass unnoticed, she went to the nearest drug shop and bought a pregnancy test. She returned to the room with a big bottle of still water and started drinking while staring at the little box. She went to the toilet more than once, but she could not bring herself to take the test. The hours passed without her realizing it. When Lily finally manned up and decided to open the damned box, her phone vibrated. She startled and reached for the device in order to check her notification. It was a text from Matt saying that he was on his way and that he hoped she felt better.

 

Lily sighed and hid the pregnancy test in her bag before changing in her pajamas. When Matt arrived, he found her curled up in bed.

 

“Lilzy-pooh… I told you that you looked pale in the morning…” Matt said and he walked straight toward her bed. He caressed her hair and gave her a weak smile. “Does it hurt you a lot?”

 

“You have absolutely no idea…” Lily replied almost breaking into tears.

 

“Oh, sweetheart… sweetheart…” Matt said with a sigh and bent to press his lips on her forehead, and then on her cheek. “Is there something I can do for you? Massage? Maybe a hot bath?”

 

“Neh… I’ll be bleeding to death in the bathtub…” Lily replied rolling her eyes.

   

“Oh, right… sorry…” Matt said on an awkward voice. “I have no idea how this thing works… ok… ah? Do you have any cravings? Food? Sugar? Films?”

 

Lily sighed: “Actually, now that you mentioned…” She said looking at him. She reached for his face and caressed his cheek with her thin fingers before giving him a weak smile. “Can we have some Thai food?”

 

“Sure, love… Of course we can have whatever you want. I will go and get us some take away! The best in town! Mind if I go and freshen up just a bit before that? Long day.”

 

“No, of course not. Go ahead, bebe.”

 

Matt smiled and gave her another kiss on the forehead before entering the shower.

 

It hurt, it hurt like hell. He did care, she had to admit it. But he did not care in that way, not anymore… if he ever had. The amount of forehead and cheek kisses she received in those damned two days since she arrived in Australia proved it.

 

With a sigh, Lily jumped from the bed and once again snatched Matt’s phone from his bag. She put it on silent and hid it under her pillow before curling back in a ball.

 

Matt exited the bathroom and dressed up quickly: “I won’t take long. In maximum one hour I am back to take care of you. Ok, Lilzy-pooh?”

 

“Thank you… love you…” She tested him.

 

Matt smiled. “Me too.” He said quickly avoiding the actual words. He turned around to look for his phone. He checked his pockets and his bag a little. Then he frowned.

 

“Everything ok?”

 

“My phone should be somewhere around…”

 

“Do you want me to give you a call?” Lily offered.

 

“Neh, never mind. I am sure it’s somewhere on the bottom of my bag and I cannot find it cuz the bag’s full of presents from the fans. I don’t need the phone anyway. I will be back soon. Promise! Just Thai food, right?”

 

“Ah… yes… and can you buy me some chocolate actually? And some Oreo?”

 

“I knew it! The Oreos had to be on the menu. It’s period time, after all!” Matt laughed.

 

She forced a laughter as well. Matt winked and hurried to give her another kiss on her forehead before leaving the room without locking the door.

 

After Matt left, Lily waited for five minutes to make sure he did not come back. Then she stood up from the bed, grabbing his phone from under the pillow, and went to take the pregnancy test from her bag. Nervously biting her nails she went to the bathroom to read and follow the instructions.

 

Lily sat on the edge of the bathtub and looked at the damned stick. Hot tears fell on it as soon as the result stabilized.

 

There was no question as to what she had to do next. There was no turning back. She slowly stood up. A hot shower was much needed. But before that, she reached for Matt’s phone:

 

_Sweetie, I want to talk something with you. Can you come to my room in like… hm, five? Lily is at the spa for one hour or so. Love you._

Right, it was high time to have a one-to-one conversation with that damned Alex Kingston. Lily hit the ‘send’ button and jumped in the shower.


	16. "Fun" Down Under - Part 13

Alex knocked twice, but there was no response so she decided to try the door. She wasn’t surprised to find it unlocked. After all, Matt texted he was waiting for her. Alex got in and slowly closed the door behind her before looking around the empty room.

 

“Matt? Are you in the shower, darling?” She asked softly and a smile curved her lips when the door of the bathroom opened. Sadly, the smile remained on Alex’s lips only for a couple of seconds, because the face which greeted her was far from the face she wanted to see.

 

Lily looked at Alex with ice cold eyes and fluttered a hand dismissively: “Matt’s out getting food for our dinner. I needed some time alone.”

 

“Oh, Lily… sure...” Alex said as a knot formed in her stomach. Why was Matt out? Why did he text her to say Lily was at the spa when this was very obviously not the case? “Sorry for just bursting in,” Alex continued on a polite manner, “I forgot to tell something to Matt and I really wanted to…”

 

“Do yourself a favour and stop lying!” Lily said rolling her eyes before glaring at Alex. “Matt’s phone is on the bed. I know why you are here. I know what text you received, because I was the one who sent the text in the first place.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“I have a couple of things to discuss with you. But first, let me just say this! That’s a really nice little show you and Matt are pulling…” Lily said while walking towards the bed. She bent slowly and grabbed the phone.

 

Alex froze. What was Lily actually referring to? Was she merely talking about the convention? Was she merely mad at the ‘hard’ remark from the panel? Was there any point in Alex still holding desperately on the thought that Lily did not mean… well… that??? Alex stood there, in the middle of the hotel room like a marble statue – utterly unable to move. Her heart was beating frantically, though, as she watched the younger woman’s moves very carefully. She registered Lily bending over the bed and reaching for Matt’s phone with the left hand. She also registered that Lily was already holding something in her right hand. Alex narrowed her eyes in order to see what the younger woman was holding, but Lily turned around with a fast move and startled her.

 

“Oh! Sorry, _darling_. Did I startle you? Just like that? Because I turned with my face towards you?” Lily asked on a bitter and sarcastic tone. “Mind you. Your conscience must really be heavy indeed!”

 

“Lily…” Alex whispered and let her eyes down on the floor. She could feel the blood reaching her cheeks in shame.

 

“Lily, Lily, Lily… Shut up with the nonsense! And better tell me everything about your day at the Zoo. Shall I serve you some tea? We’re in the family after all. Have you seen the pictures on Matt’s phone? He has some very interesting snaps from the Zoo. You too look very happy together, bless.” The younger woman hissed and walked towards Alex. Instinctively, she took three steps back causing Lily to laugh.

 

“Don't get so scared. I won't bite! I just wanted you to see the pictures! Take the phone and look at them! Look at the pictures!” Lily said stopping her tracks and offered Alex the phone. There were so many thoughts crossing Alex's mind as her body heated up. All she knew was that she did not want to see the pictures Lily saw. Alex turned her head away and avoided looking into Lily’s eyes.

 

“Didn’t you hear me? Take the phone I said!” Lily urged her and, closing the distance between them, forced the phone into Alex’s hand.

 

Alex gasped and her grip on the phone tightened automatically. She took the phone instantly and pulled her hand away as if burned. Doing what Lily said and looking thorough the pictures on Matt’s phone simply seemed ten times better than being forced into skin-to-skin contact with Lily. That was too personal and beyond frightening. With trembling hands, Alex held the phone and looked at the pictures. The marble mask that stiffened her face ever since she entered the room fell apart with each new picture she was. Hot tears started falling down Alex’s cheeks while the reality of the situation she walked in became all too clear. As much as she wanted to turn around and run away, it was too late for that. Alex suddenly felt weak and cornered. Lily’s deep blue eyes were piercing through her soul and she could not raise her head from the ground and face that denunciative gaze.

 

“Give it back!” Lily said shortly and rudely snatched Matt’s phone from Alex’s hand. “It happened this morning actually…” She whispered and, to Alex’s relief, she moved some steps away widening the distance between them:

 

“It all started with a little unusual reaction of Matt’s... He sort of hissed at me, while he was still half asleep. And he did that because I made an innocent joke regarding you… I have to admit I was perplex. And heaven I cannot believe how blind I’ve been!!! How stupid and how blind and ignorant I’ve been!!! You know how sometimes the truth is just screaming in your face, but you cannot see it? Or you see it, but you are unable to perceive it as truth and you just let it be? And you let it be until something forces you to open your eyes. Once is all you need! To open your eyes once! To see it once! Only once! And then you cannot unsee it!!! You just see the truth everywhere… everything you missed just comes back to you, everything is suddenly about that ugly truth… every time you did not receive a flower, every time he was out longer than he was supposed to, every roll of his eyes, every little hiss, every little word… everything! You see it all at once! You see even more that it was, and you even realize in your head that you’re probably blowing everything out of proportions, but you cannot stop because it’s too late, because you are forced to see it all at once! And it hurts, and you just cannot understand why, but most importantly how on earth you’ve been so FUCKING STUPID!?!?!”

 

Alex startled and covered her mouth with one hand. The tears were now unstoppable. Lily sighed and threw Matt’s phone on the bed before climbing on it. She positioned herself right in the middle and lifted her legs to her chest.  

 

“And I went to shower, after Matt hissed, and I thought that I was just imagining stuff… but then… was I, really? Everything started spinning in my mind and I tried to fight it… but my mind was going against me. Or actually, my mind was going with me! Trying to save me from my stupidity! This past one month has been so weird. Matt was so weird and sad and… so not him. It was as if something constantly bothered him. He was spacing out a lot and paying little attention to me. He was constantly lost in his mind. I knew he was stressed, I knew he was busy… so I tried not to fuss about it. I asked what was wrong, he said he was fine. I had to take his word for it. After all, I was stressed and I was busy as well. I tried not to pay much attention. We live in a mad and hectic word. People are stressed and people are busy for a while, and then everything falls into place again. But this time it didn’t really... Matt kept on being edgy. And I had to leave for L.A., because of a project… I didn’t really fuss over it, because I have never been this clingy jealous girlfriend! I was reasonable because he was reasonable. I would have never in a thousand years imagine he would just cheat on me! And with you??? How? Why? When I first saw the erotic jokes and everything I laughed… oh, it was so funny. The guy is so goofy and crazy… but no… suddenly, while I was showering this morning, those erotic jokes were no longer funny. My brain just repeated the same question: what if those jokes are real? Everything… everything just clicked. All at once…”

 

Alex swallowed hard. She felt devastated to stand there and listen to Lily’s recollection. For a second only, her eyes lifted up and Alex looked towards the bed. She regretted the gesture immediately because the view was pitiful. Lily was still on the bed, legs hugged at her chest, wild tears running down on her face, as she was slowly swinging back and forth. Nothing in her voice betrayed the wild tears though. They just fell down Lily’s cheeks having a life of their own, all while the girl’s gaze was still poisonously fixed on Alex. Naturally, Alex let her eyes down almost immediately and her already broken heart shuttered even more at the sight of the pain she inflicted on Matt’s innocent girlfriend.

 

“I tried to put the thoughts out of my mind. I tried to scold myself for even thinking so lowly of Matt, but my brain wouldn’t hear me!!! I tried to persuade myself that I was seeing nonsense because of my wild hormones… but no… no… it was there!!! I saw it!!! I saw the way in which you avoided looking at us when I purposely snogged Matt in front of you!!! I saw how Matt was leaning more towards you than towards me at the children’s hospital!!! I saw how Matt smiled at every word you said at the lunch and then he completely maintained an even face when I said a joke… and he used to laugh… oh, how he used to laugh at my jokes… I loved to make him laugh… and now nothing!!! No laughter. Not even a smile!!! And I still did not want to believe… I still wanted to remain naïve… but you two could not help yourselves, could you? You two had to rub it in my face some more! On the stage, in front of your hundreds of gossip hungry fans!!! You simply had to go on and make more sexual jokes!!! Because sexual jokes between lovers are so funny! So please… oh, please tell me more about how hard he gets when he sees you!” Lily almost spit the words out at Alex. She then burst into hysterical laughter and moved her legs in the butterfly yoga pose, swinging them up and down.

 

“Oh… I hate you so much… so much… so… so… so… much!”

 

Alex felt her legs giving in, but she kept on standing there, in the middle of the hotel room for what was definitely the most humiliating conversation of her life. She covered her face with her palms and let out a painful sob. Lily laughed even harder although her silent tears kept on falling.

 

“Do you know why I came to Australia?”

 

Alex did not respond and continued hiding her face behind her palms, while crying.

 

“I asked you something! Am I talking to the walls here???” Lily shouted.

 

“Hm… no… sorry… ah, why…” Alex managed to respond on a weak tone, still refusing to remove her hands from her face.

 

“Because my period is four weeks late…” Lily smiled.

 

Alex froze and her hands fell down in slow motion. She raised her head and looked towards the bed on which Lily was sitting cross-legged and smiling triumphantly. Alex’s eyes fell automatically on the thing Lily’s been holding in her right hand ever since she exited the bathroom. Now she managed to see the object clearly and it was without doubt a pregnancy test.

 

“My period was late and I panicked. I was alone in L.A. and I did not want to do the test there… I was scared. I am so young and… Matt was so far away! I wanted him! I desperately wanted him next to me. At first I did not worry. It happened before. My period being late, I mean. It happened before because when I am busy and stressed I do not sleep well, I have light insomnia, and I eat too little. I thought that if I stopped being sleep and food deprived, my body will be happy and my period will resume its normal course. It worked before. One week, max two weeks and I would be back to normal! Shinny as new… But not this time. No. This time the third week came, and then the fourth. I began to panic so much… so much! I needed Matt urgently. Strangely enough, Matt did ask me to join him in Australia. I have no idea what sort of sick joke he had in mind. Why did he need me here when he knew he will have his precious mistress to take care of his manly needs? But I swear he insisted so much for me to come with him for the entire convention. I even thought that he got upset with me for refusing. Told you he’s been grumpy in the past month. But I simply couldn’t leave the States! I had other arrangements there, important professional arrangements… but then the period thing happened and I said fuck it. Fuck it all, this is too much! I need to go to Matt, I need to know as soon as possible! Everything else can wait. Nothing is more important than my health… I can always pull a diva act and walk out of my obligations for a week or two! Right? I mean, it was just work, after all… Being with Matt and finding out together what the future held was way more important than my obligations. That’s what I told to myself…”

 

Alex was shaking hard. She could no longer listen to her. Enough was enough! Every word that left Lily’s lips was like a punch in Alex’s stomach. She could no longer take it! And she did not want to take it anymore. With what unfortunately sounded way more rudely than intended Alex asked:  

 

“Are you pregnant?”

 

Lily narrowed her eyes: “Yes! I’m pregnant!”

 

Alex’s legs could no longer hold her so she reached for the sofa as fast as she could. She collapsed on its edge. Her body, her mind, her heart, her soul… her whole being was suddenly paralyzed by the blow in what was her Achilles heel. The tears stopped. The spasms stopped. She just sat there on the edge of the sofa resuming her marble statue mask.

 

“You should see yourself. You look horrible, dear gracious! So white, so pale… evening sickness, darling?” Lily said sarcastically and laughed. “What do you say about it? What about this? Ha? I have inside me the one and only thing you will never be able to give him: a child. Take that, sweetie! Right. In. Your. Face!”

 

Alex stood up. She could no longer take it: “Well, my sincere congratulations…”

 

“Too bad it’s not true.”

 

Alex sighed and looked at the younger woman: “Lily… trust me. It is true. I am happy for you, Matt and your child. I do get your point and I will see myself out of your and Matt’s lives! But please believe me when I say that my congratulations are real and come from my heart…”

 

“No…” Lily sighed and rolled her eyes. She threw the stick at Alex and she had to move a step aside in order to avoid being hit. “It’s negative.”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“I am not pregnant, you moron! I lied. YOU WIN! Are you happy now? You fucking win!!!”

 

“But…”

 

“But? But? But? What is there to ‘but’? I lied! I just couldn’t help it. I was about to tell you the truth from the very start but you just had to interrupt me. You simply could not wait for me to fucking shut up and tell you what you wanted to hear!!! You had to rudely jump at my throat and ask if I was pregnant! I could not resist the chance of crushing your worthless soul even for five seconds. And it paid off! I am sorry but it definitely paid off even if the blow was below the belt. You should see yourself in the mirror! You look deplorable!” Lily said and attempted to laugh, but instead she just burst into painful sobs:

 

“Can’t you see what you did to me??? I am not this person… I am not this person who swears like a sailor and tries to hurt back… but I cannot control myself!!! I feel it in my veins! The anger… the rage… so many negative feelings I cannot even classify! I feel them running through my veins and they make me explode inside! It’s like I want to break something… someone! Just in the same way as you broke me!” Lily said and furiously wiped her tears. She brought her legs back to her chest in a poor attempt of stopping her crying spasms. She definitely didn’t seem eager at all to move from the middle of the bed.

 

Alex sat back down on the sofa and sighed loudly. The tears invaded her eyes again and she looked down once more, desperately avoiding to look at Lily. The whole situation seemed surreal! Was that really happening? Was she really there witnessing the consequences of her erratic attitude towards her relationship with Matt?

 

“When I saw the pictures I knew I could no longer wait. I rushed home and then to the drug store across the street and bought the stick. All I wanted was to come home and get done with it. You know how I said I came to Australia because I wanted Matt to be next to me when I took the test? Well… not anymore, not today! All I knew was that I wanted Matt to be as far away as possible from here. This is why I sent him away! Thousands of thought passed through my mind in a very short period of time while the freaking lines were struggling to appear on that test. A very small part of me wished to see two lines… but then the other part said no! No! No! No! Lily - that part of me told me - Lily, you are a young, successful, reasonably pretty woman… you are not going to humiliated yourself by tying a man next to you with a child!!! You are not going to humiliate yourself by trying to save a relationship with a man who did not respect you! This is why I texted you. To do what I had to do! I called you here to tell you that I know what you’ve done behind my back and to give you the satisfaction of hearing me say the words: You. Win!”

 

“Lily, you have to know that the situation between me and Matt was not what you think it was…”

 

Lily completely ignored her words and went on with her monologue: “I honestly did not call you here to shout at you and to call you names… but I could not help it! When I saw your face, when I saw your weak attempt at a lie as soon as you entered the room… I just could not help it!”

 

Alex nodded and allowed her to continue.

 

“My mother taught me to be respectful with older people. Even if a person is only two, three years older, that person still went through more in life than me. But tell me this, almighty Ms. Kingston, answer me this question: how can I pay you respect when you paid none to me? How can I be respectful towards you when we fucking shag the same man?”

 

Alex gasped and closed her eyes painfully. “It happened only once, Lily… I swear to God. My relationship with Matt...”

 

“I hate you so much…”

 

Alex nodded again. “I know… I understand, but Lily, the whole thing between me and Matt happened long before he met you…”

 

“No… No… don’t just sit there with your head down, face hidden in your curls and stuff… no… look into my eyes!!! If you want to say something just look into my eyes when you continue lying to me!”

 

Alex shook her head: “I am not lying, Lily…”

 

“Look into my eyes and tell me you understand how much I hate you!” Lily hissed. “I am stepping down here! Giving up on the man I love, the man who cheated on me, the man who broke the childish innocence I kept inside my heart! At least LOOK AT ME!”

 

Alex needed all her strength to lift up her chin and turn her face towards Lily. She bit her lip while looking at the woman on the bed. The poor thing looked so broken, so hurt, so small, so helpless.

 

“Lily, I swear to you that Matt cheating on you was not a recurring thing. It happened once and it was meant to be a last hurrah! This is by no means an excuse. It's true, I had a relationship with Matt during our Doctor Who years. It was… badly managed, on my side. And this is an understatement. I broke his heart and I ran away. He met you only after I was out of his life. We were not even in touch for more than a year and a half…”

 

“I hate you with all my being…” Lily said and looked directly in Alex’s eyes.

 

“I know…” Alex whispered and, with great difficulty, maintained the eye contact Lily requested. She wished she could speak, but Lily did not seem too interesting in allowing her.

 

“I want to offer you a deal. I called you here to tell you that you win and to offer you a deal.”

 

“What… what deal?”

 

“I want to break up with Matt. I want to be the one who ends our relationship. Call me childish, call me naïve. But here, I am humiliating myself even more in front of you. Allow me this one small victory! Allow me the chance of breaking up with him. I don’t want him to come to me with his stupid face and give me his stupid reasons and whatnot… I don’t want to give him the chance to humiliate me. I don’t want to give him the chance of seeing me in tears when he confesses his undying love for you. I want him to remember me as I was during our relationship: a crazy unpredictable young girl. I want him to have the impression that I was the one in control all along…”

 

Alex closed her eyes painfully. Lily’s request burnt down all way to Alex’s soul. It only proved how young Lily was, how she was still just a girl… a girl who’s just been introduced to the dark side of the world, a dark side where not everything is ‘happily ever after’, a dark side where dreams can get broken, a dark side where the person you love the most can stab you in the back the hardest. And Alex knew she had played a major role in introducing Lily to this dark side of the world. Alex wiped her constantly falling tears and looked back at Lily:

 

“Whatever you want…”

 

“Good. I will just wait for the convention pass and then I will break up with him the next week or so… I will come up with something to make him believe that he has never been too important in my life. That’s he’s been just a dude who got the privilege of dating Cinderella for a while and be her personal bag carrier. And that he can nonetheless be easily replaced with someone better. And no worries… I will be delicate with him. I don’t feel the same urge of hurting him, as I did with you. I still love him after all. I don’t want him to suffer. I just want to be the one ending it. In his eyes, and in the eyes of the world…”

 

Alex nodded.

 

“And in this way… you two even get to avoid a messy press scandal. Now aren’t I a darling?” Lily smiled.

 

“Thank you…” Alex whispered, but as soon as she said the words she regretted it. Lily’s eyes turned dark in a heartbeat:

 

“Thank you? Thank you? If you have the nerve to believe I am doing this for you, you are a hypocrite!!! I am doing it for myself!!! Because I am a young actress with a brilliant career, because I am the world's darling at the moment, because I make the headlines with all the great things I achieved on my one!!! And the last thing I want is to be pitied!!! I do not need to be pitied by everyone because my boyfriend left me for a woman literally twice my age!!! Being left for an older woman in the middle of a year of glory... you of all people should know how that stands in a girl's heart. The pain, the doubt, the feeling of worthlessness it inflicts! The constant questions of what did I do wrong and why me? Why wasn’t I good enough? And I had only some hours to think about these stuff… what will these constant painful thoughts do to me in the next days??? These questions will be maddening! I would end up killing myself if the press would just start digging the shit you and Matt threw in my life!!!” Lily started sobbing again. “Don’t doubt it… never doubt it! Everything you ever felt about that cougar who stole your husband… all those despicable things that crossed your mind? They are crossing mine right now! The way in which you despised her is the way in which I despise you. You repel me! You repel me for what you did to me! Because you made me act like this monster I AM NOT!”

 

“Lily…”

 

“And you know what the worst part is?” Lily asked looking at Alex and still crying. She shook her head but tried to maintain eye contact with the younger woman:

 

“The worst part is that the love you and Matt share… your beautiful fairy tale, is the sort of love story a dreamer like me, a Cinderella like me, would have admired and supported until the end of time! Because with no doubt it’s a beautiful love… And I suppose that a love like yours demands sacrifices… I just wish with all my being I hadn’t been one of them.”

 

“Lily…” Alex whispered among the most painful tears.

 

“Don’t.” Lily whispered back. “At least have the dignity of staying silent. Don’t humiliate me even more and don’t humiliate yourself even more with a pathetic ‘I am sorry’. Because are you really?”

 

Alex closed her eyes and felt like dying of pain, of shame.

 

“I think you should leave… I know I did not give you the chance to speak much, but honest to God I do not care about anything you have to say. I do not care about your side of the story at all. In my eyes you will always be the woman my man cheated on me with… and he will forever remain a cheater. But the world doesn't need to know that. We're British after all. Let's carry on.”

 

Alex nodded and stood up from the sofa. She did not feel like arguing. She had absolutely no case to argue for. There was nothing on earth she could say to make Lily feel better. The sad truth was that for Lily James she will always remain a villain.   

 

“Just avoid me and Matt for the rest of the week. Tell him you feel bad, you cannot stand us together. Stuff like that. Pull a nice little scene. He'll melt at your tears. I don’t care what you do. Just stay away from me. I cannot bear looking at you.”

 

“I will, I promise I will.”

 

Lily nodded. Alex sighed and walked towards the door.

 

“And Alex!”

  

Alex turned around and looked at Lily, hoping with all her heart that the younger woman would finally dismiss her and allow her to walk out of that mortifying situation. Alex just wanted to go somewhere and hide from the light, from the world. Thanks to all heavens for the one day and a half break before the next panel. She needed those days for herself. She needed to meditate and to put her thoughts in order. She needed to persuade herself that she was not a bad person. She needed to pray for her soul. And she needed to think forwards towards her life with Matt... Her calm and peaceful life with the man she loved. Because that promise of a life with Matt was the only thing which gave her the power to swallow a humiliating blow after another. Alex wondered why Lily called her name again. What more was there to be said?

 

Lily was on her feet now. She left the protective haven of the bed in order to pick up the pregnancy test which laid on the floor ever since she threw it towards Alex:

 

“Alex, I feel the need to make sure you know that we never had this conversation. This conversation never happened! But please, do keep it buried in the dark pits of your mind and allow it to come back to haunt you every time the victory you unjustly won today will rightfully seem otherwise.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My lovely sweeties, I hope you don't want to kill me too much. This was a very difficult chapter to write, but alas, I had to do it. With this our journey with this story is slowly reaching its end. This was the last official chapter of the fic... but no worries, I still have an epilogue for next Sunday. Xx


	17. Lucky Girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello sweeties! 
> 
> I am so sorry for the delay. Real life keeps on happening and I hardly find time to finish my actual deadlines, let go writing anything else! 
> 
> But alas, here we go!!! A present for you all on our dearest Matty's Birthday!!!

**_England, August 20 th, 2016._ **

 

Alex looked in the mirror. She could not stop smiling! 

 

Her curls were tamed into a very elegant updo, the bulk of her hair being pinned in the back of her head. On top of her head she had a flower crown, braided exclusively from flowers in various shades of pale beige. A rebel curl here and there was escaping the pins and tangled itself with the flowers. 

 

She admired her reflection some more. Her long vintage dress seemed taken straight from an Edwardian party. The way in which the satin combined with the silk and lace made her feel very gracious and feminine. She looked so classy, she looked so good... oh, and she felt even better than she looked! This in spite of the crazy butterflies which were fluttering in her stomach! 

 

Alex reached for the glass of champagne when someone knocked on the door. She rolled her eyes in amusement: "Too early... too early! Can't a girl enjoy her champagne?"

 

“Mommy?” Salome giggled slightly opening the door. 

 

“Oh, my dearest sweetheart. Come in… mommy was just joking. ” Alex said with a smile and turned towards the door.

 

The beautiful teenager took only a couple of steps inside her mother's hotel room: “I won't bother your champagne much. But there is someone who wants to see you.”

 

“Not Matt, I hope! Because he is not allowed to see the bride…” 

 

“No… it’s not Matt…” Replied an unexpected voice.

 

Alex gasped and her smile suddenly froze. She slowly lowered her glass of champagne while her lips whispered: “Lily…”

 

“Hello... Can I speak with you for five minutes?” The young woman asked following Salome into the room. 

 

Alex bit her lip. What could she say? No, you cannot speak to me? No, because the last time we spoke was more than enough for a lifetime? But Alex faked a smile and nodded.

 

“I’ll leave you two to it… and I will go check the spirits downstairs. See if our party is ready to leave for the church. ” Salome smiled warmly to her mother. Alex’s heart stopped when her daughter, her only potential protection, left the room and closed the door behind her.

 

Alex could not complain about the past year. It’s been great. Oh, more than great, actually! Without doubt it’s been one of the best years of her life.

 

Indeed, she could not deny that the first two months after Australia had been hell. The conversation between herself and Lily was never too far away from her mind. Indeed she spent countless sleepless nights going through that conversation over and over and over again... Every single word Lily said had haunted her dreams and darkened her days.

 

Alex remembers well the day when she read in the news an official press statement announcing the end of Lily James and Matt Smith's relationship. She remembers receiving a perplexed text from Matt, on the very same day. He wrote to let her know that Lily broke up with him and hoped Alex saw his text before reading the news from the press - as it had been his case. Alex did not know what to reply so she settled for a neutral: "How do you feel about it?". In all honesty, she did wonder what Lily told him. Did he read the news in the press and then went to her in the kitchen and asked what was all about? Everything seemed quite dodgy, but she never felt comfortable enough to ask about the whole affair. She secretly hoped Matt would tell her the details of his break-up, but he never brought up the subject. He replied to her text only with: "I have a cleaner conscience. And I feel way better with myself and my past mistakes". Afterwards he mentioned only once that he had misread Lily as a person and that she was far from what she pretended to be. He seemed sad and hurt because of that and Alex seriously considered telling him the truth. She felt the need of somehow cleaning Lily's reputation and letting him know that whatever grotesque story Lily came up with in order to break his heart was a made up lie...

 

Beside herself and Lily, there were only two more people in the world who knew the truth: Laura Smith and Nicola Kingston.

 

Alex called Laura shortly after Matt moved to L.A. in July 2015. She knew that her future sister-in-law was in the States with some business matters, so Alex decided to invite her over and ask for her help. Laura knew quite a lot about her brother's new/old relationship with his former co-star, so she eagerly accepted the invitation. Alex opened up and poured her heart out about the whole Australian complication. Laura listened carefully to everything before sharing some more stories of his brother's relationship with Lily. What surprised Alex the most was that, despite the fact that Laura seemed to love Lily, she confessed she's always been sure her brother's relationship with the young actress would never last for long. Lily made Matt happy, light and care free... but somehow their relationship was surrounded by the very distinctive aura of a chimera. Laura was categorical about Alex keeping Lily’s secret and respecting her wishes. She insisted that there was no point in letting Matt know the truth. Laura insisted that they should let the whole Lily thing in the past and work towards building or rebuilding a solid relationship. The sister however promised to talk to Lily and to convince her that, in time - once the wounds would close, and the scars would be less deep - she should tell Matt the truth and let him understand that he had not been mistaken in his belief because she had always been a sweet innocent girl.

 

As for Nicola… oh, poor darling Nicola! She had to deal with the nearly catastrophic consequences of Alex’s realization that she’s inflicted on another human being the same pain a woman she considered a monster had inflicted on her. Nicola flew to L.A. for almost a month before Mat arrived and dragged Alex to all sorts of aroma therapies and meditation sessions. She insisted that her sister had to cleanse her mind and soul. Nicola carefully listened to Alex telling the same stories over and over again, while crying painful tears every time. But Nicola knew what to say. She always knew how to be the best medicine! By the time Matt moved over the pond, Alex managed to pull herself together and to accept that, although she has done wrong, the circumstances of Lily's betrayal were infinitely different from the circumstances of her own tragic story. Moreover, Alex kept on telling herself that the only way to prove to the Universe that she had been right in being wrong was by making her relationship with Matt as prosperous and beautiful as humanly possible.

 

Nicola also believed that Matt should never know about the Perth incident, unless Lily considered otherwise. With the two sisters vetoing on the matter, Alex agreed that the only way was forward!!!

 

Alex closed all the doors to their past and she whipped all her regrets away on August 20th, 2015 - the day Matt proposed. When she said yes and when he placed the ring on her finger, Alex fully committed her heart to the future…

 

But with Lily standing there in front of her, it looked like any locked door could be opened and every regret could be rewritten. The sadness must have been written all over her face because the younger woman closed the distance between them and softly placed her hand on Alex’s arm: 

 

“Oh, don’t be sad… this is your wedding day! I brought you these…” Lily said with a shy smile. 

 

It was only then that Alex noticed the nice bouquet of white lilies the younger woman was holding. She offered them to Alex, who reluctantly accepted the flowers.

 

“I am on my way to Scotland. I have to film something tomorrow morning. Beautiful location. But Laura told me the wedding would be here… so I thought I could stop by and give you my most sincere congratulations.”

 

Alex gasped, then frowned. She had no idea how to react or what to say.

 

“The last time we spoke I said some horrible things… I was sad, I was hurt, I felt humiliated and I just unleashed my darkest side on you. I’ve never done that before and honest to God I hope I never will again... When my negativity toned down I often found myself unable to sleep. The weight of the words I poured on you were pressing on my chest… I want to take them back. I never intended to say those words to you… I merely wanted to offer you the deal we eventually made. I wanted to be the bigger person, but when I saw you there I just couldn’t…”

 

“Lily, it’s…”

 

“No, no… it’s not fine, it's not ok. It's far from that. I am sorry for many of the words I said. I might have had the right to say them, but it was wrong nonetheless. It feels this way. For my own peace of mind… and most probably for yours too... I really want to take them back. So please, do accept this...”   

 

“Oh Lily... Thank you…” Alex said while two big tears fell on her cheek. Lily giggled.

 

“Now.. I should leave! My driver is just downstairs. But I have to say that you look absolutely amazing! I am sure Matt will cry when he will see you." She laughed. "I hope you and him will be happy in your new life. You two make quite a couple…”

 

“Oh Lily…” Alex whispered but she felt way too emotional to be able to continue her thought. Lily just winked and turned around to leave. it was only when her hand touched the door handle that Alex managed to gather her strength and call her again:

 

“Lily…”

 

“Hm?” The younger woman asked slowly turning around to look at Alex one more time.

 

“You are the bigger person… you proved it even when we talked in Australia. I doubt I would have behaved with your dignity back in the day when I have been betrayed... The fact that you came here today only reinforces what a wonderful person you are. And there are no words in which I can thank you enough for what you just did. I cannot even begin to tell you what this means to me... I truly hope that one day you will tell Matt the truth as well. He could really do with the blessing of having you back in his life.”

 

“Well…” Lily smiled and wrinkled her nose a little. “It’s still too soon for friendship… but who knows. Maybe one day…”

 

Alex nodded and with another smile Lily left and closed the door behind her.

 

The bride looked at the beautiful bouquet of lilies she was still holding and took in a deep breath. She had to find a nice vase for them before leaving for the church. Right then someone knocked at the door. With a bright smile, Salome popped in: 

 

"Ready with the champagne? Everyone is waiting for you!"

 

"Oh, the bride can be fashionably late..." Alex teased. 

 

"Well, I think that even 30 fashionable seconds late would be too much for Matty who would panic and make all sorts of runaway bride scenarios in his head..."

 

Alex laughed: "Oh, dear! That is so true! Let's run! But sweetie, can you put these flowers in a vase till I check myself once more?"

 

Salome nodded and took the flowers from Alex's hands. The bride rushed to the mirror once again. She could not stop smiling! And the butterflies started again. Alex cheekily winked to herself before reaching for her bridal bouquet.

  

As she entered the small English church and slowly walked down the aisle all she could think of was the handsome man standing in front of the altar and waiting for her. He had tears in his eyes and those tears made him look even more beautiful. 

 

When she got closer, Matt extended his hand and she did the same. His long fingers grabbed hers. She felt a small delicate squeeze as he lifted her hand to his lips and softly kissed it.

 

“Am I dreaming, my beautiful?” He whispered to her.

 

“I am afraid not, my darling.” She whispered back. 

 

“Oh, then I must be a very lucky boy…”

 

Alex giggled and looked deep into his eyes: “Oh, Mr. Smith… I actually do believe that the lucky girl is me.”

  

Matt smiled and bit his lower lip while both of them turned their full attention to the priest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with this lovelies... they lived happily ever after! 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this story and for all the beautiful comments you left. I hope you enjoyed the journey and if you didn't, I will try harder next time! Because there will be a next time! *maybe even sooner rather than later*
> 
> I am looking forward to hearing your last opinions on our Lucky Boy. I send you all many many kisses and many many thanks again. Xx
> 
> P.S. I completely forgot to share a link to the dress I had in mind for Alex. Here you go, I hope you like it:   
> http://s7d1.scene7.com/is/image/BHLDN/24330086_011_a?$zoom-xl$


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